Thursday December 10th 2009 – Mistress Ana has plans for me!

A frustrating start to the day!  i dressed quickly in sliver grey satin bra and matching thong, both with cute little bows, then put on my male outer clothes and sat down to go to “My Virtual Model” to choose my “Look” for the day.  Unfortunately, i was unable to access the site but got a message saying a server was down.  Frustrating!  Especially as i had no idea whether it was their server or some other server somewhere between me and them!

i was soon to find out though because Mistress Ana came on line and commented that She could not see “Today’s Look” on my blog either so with Her in Thailand and me in Peru, it would have to be the  “My Virtual Model” server that is down.

It was terrific chatting to Mistress Ana although She left me feeling incredibly horny and also somewhat overwhelmed by the designs and plans She had in mind.  We chatted for well over an hour in which time She told me She might arrange for me to be a $5 slut again!  That was exciting enough but then after discussing the pendant which i now have in its finished form, we went on to chat about some bondage gear that has come up for sale in our home town and which items Mistress would like.  The lady selling the gear now runs a facility for sissies in which they can go and get dressed and relax, go out shopping, get training and so on.  One of Mistress’ ideas is for me to go there and get some education!  Also something that interests and excites me.  However, we then moved on to discussing the various equipment She wants, the suspension apparatus may be too big but the rack Mistress believes She can handle.  She would also like a cage and we talked about where in Her house all of this might go and decided it would fit in a small store room on the side of Her garage that could soon become my cell!

Further toys of Mistress’ pleasure included sounds and electrical zings with remote controls that /she could apply to me in public situations like on an aeroplane!  This is where Mistress most definitely took off and took me with Her.  She had me travelling with Her “en femme” in a mini skirt, no panties but with butt plug and ball ring with weights attached just long enough to show beneath the skirt, the ring also attached to my nipples and me trying to walk so hampered but also with huge high heels!  Like so all the way from Australia to Germany where we go to the Octoberfest and i end up as a serving wench in a bar full of drunken men.  We then go to O.W.K. where i will be Her maid but also have to undergo all sorts of additional training and humiliations.

By now, i was feeling extremely uncomfortable, not from the scenarios Mistress was describing but from the turn on it was giving me!  My cock was as large as it has ever been since i put on the chastity device!  But it did not stop there!  i had sent Mistress an article about a “pussy collar” and so we then went on to discuss how She would have me locked in such a position between Her legs while She slept!  And with vibrating butt plug on variable random speed settings and a tens unit to keep me awake!

By now i was bursting with excitement and a cock that was pressing on the sides of the CB-2000, my mind racing at the enormity of Mistress’ plans and already starting to work on how to bring them to fruition.  i truly adore Her and all of Her schemes and am such a slut that i desperately want to be a part of them!

So, i have tasks to do.  One to continue liaising on the bondage gear Mistress wishes to buy, then to begin work on clearing the store room that will become my cell, also to find a cage, a St.Andrews Cross, a tens unit and a vibrating butt plug – both of these with a remote control, and finally to find a way for us to have the time together for Her to do all the things to me that she is dreaming of at the moment.  All enjoyable chores leading to my own torture and humiliation………………………

After that, one would think there was nothing left much to add about my day but i did get to dress fully “en femme” during the evening.  This felt good as always but in my horny state, was just further torture – sweet torture!

Wednesday December 9th 2009 – artistic? me? – perhaps i should go to night school?

Back to work today.  Up early, determined to get on with things as time is running out for me here in Lima.  i dressed quickly in maroon bra and panties, both satin with cute bows.  Was at my desk by 07.00am , where i slipped into maroon open toed stiletto heels, and got right down to work -  a lot of tedious legal stuff to work through!

Some nice surprises during the course of the day.  Managed to chat to Goddess Joyce online.  She is home and feeling better.  Baby Vincent is doing well, going for his first doctors check up today.  Goddess wants me to call over to see Her before i leave on Friday.  It will be Her mother’s (Senora Sylvia) birthday tea.  i will have to leave before 6.00pm to head off to the airport but i will go and say hello and deliver the silver spoon i have bought for Vincent and a silver photo frame for Senora Sylvia.

Another nice surprise was making a new friend on “My Virtual Model.” A lady who it seems has perhaps not worked out that i am a man and a sissy complimented me on one of my “looks of the day” and sent me a message saying how she liked it.  We exchanged a few messages online and became friends – i borrowed some suggestions for looks from her and will enjoy exchanging ideas on dress and fashion with her. She said she thought me to be creative, imaginative and artistic with my looks! Wow! No one has ever called me that before.

So, i was flattered and feeling more feminine than usual and the whole episode got me to thinking about what it would be like to go to “fashion school.”  There are a few of them here in Lima and i hgave to say the city has some wonderful clothing stores with individual designers.  However, i am really not artistic at all and could not draw to save my life.  But i couldn’t stop my mind wandering along this theme of perhaps being sent by Mistress to a school or night classes for example to learn things like make-up, or sewing, dressmaking or something so intrinsically female in nature that i would be the only male in a class of women.  How humiliating that would be!  i get aroused just thinking of it.  Yes, it would be more than just a little embarrassing but wouldn’t it be useful for a gurl who never had the benefit of such lessons while at school or from her mother as she grew up.

i am sure the first few lessons would be mortifying and that i would be a constant butt of jokes and ridicule but i would have to persevere if i were sent there by Mistress and not only would it make me even more humble but it would give me feminine skills that i would love to have and which would be so useful.

i sense that i could be digging a great hole for myself here for i have no doubt that this will also play on Mistress Ana’s mind until it actually happens but somehow i have a perverse desire for it to do so.  The practicalities of it may be difficult within my home city and with my work and travel commitments but…………………….one day!

Tuesday December 8th 2009 – memories of a $5 whore

A public holiday today in Peru.  Goodness knows why, it is not normally on their calender but apparently there was no military parade during their annual independence celebrations this year (July 28th) for some reason so they decided to hold it today and give everyone a holiday!  Not for me though.  i need to use every minute of my time here and although i could not meet any clients today it gave me chance to work through some data albeit in a more relaxed mode.

i slept in a bit later having stayed up later last night chatting with my business associate and flat mate on business issues.  It was almost 9.00am when i got out of bed.  i chose not to get out of my satin PJ’s straight away as all was quiet in the apartment so i began working on emails etc, while still wearing them.  In fact my associate did not stir until midday so i was able to lounge in my PJ’s until then when i slipped a T-shirt over the camisole top and a pair of shorts over the PJ shorts.  i was almost sure my flatmate would be going out and was waiting to be able to slip into full “femme” mode as soon as he left.  Alas, it was not to be!

i spent my day working on project data and dealing with emails and proposals, stopping occasionally to check if there was anyone online such as Mistress Ana, Goddess Joyce or Lady Dynah but not one of them appeared while ever i was online.  i tried calling Goddess Joyce again but still no answer so left a message.  i should go and visit Her but need details of the clinic, her room etc.  She might even be home again now for all i know.

i spent a little bit of leisure time adding to my experiences on Experience Project and made a few new friends who share similar interests and experiences.  Today, i shared my first experience dressed as a woman but serving a man.  This was some 22 years ago and it turned out to be only a one off because i got cold feet!  Not that the evening spent with him didn’t work out it was more that his longer term ideas for a relationship did not gel with mine once we chatted the following day.  As you can read below, he treated me like a prostitute which was not what i was looking for longer term.  i wanted to be treated as though i was female and to go out so dressed and socialise, go for dinner, the pictures and so on.  All he wanted was to visit me whenever he felt like, day or night for sex during which i would always be blindfolded and bound.  i think i could have coped with the sexual side of things if he had given me a little more such as having me cook for him, wash and iron his clothes or clean his apartment.  As much as i enjoyed my first experience as a whore, it was not what i wanted at the time and not what i would want now.  Thankfully, in serving Mistress Ana, i do get to do chores and run errands for Her as well as being used sexually as She may desire so i know that i am more than just a sex object.  Anyway, this first encounter of the prostitute kind went something like this…………

i entertained him at my apartment.  He had me unlock the door on receiving his phone call.  This meant he was outside.  i was then to blindfold myself and bend across the kitchen table with my hands placed behind my back.  i heard him enter the apartment and then felt his hands strongly take my wrists and cuff them together.  He then ran his hands up my nylon clad legs, over my suspenders and my panties, fondling my ass before moving up and cupping my breasts.  Oh, i cannot describe that feeling as he groped me, it was wonderful, exciting, arousing all at the same time and my cock immediately betrayed my feelings trying to break free from the black lace panties i was wearing.He had told me to dress like a slut and so i had.  In addition to black 4″ stiletto heels with an ankle strap and cute bow, i wore seamed black stockings, Victorian style corset with suspenders, black balconette bra, very short black mini skirt, flimsy see-through blouse, a long haired blond wig and heavy make up.  As i bent over the table, feeling his hands roam over my body, i began to ache not from discomfort but from a need to cum.  Just being touched by him was an amazing turn on for me.

Eventually, he stood me up and led me, still blindfold, through into my lounge where he pushed me down onto my knees.  i heard the zipper of his fly as i knelt there and i knew what was about to happen.  This would be my first time and i was prepared for it.  i wanted it. i had practiced sucking on dildos and tasted my own cum enough to have an idea of what to do and what to expect but i was not prepared for the size of his cock.  It was long alright but that was the least of my problems, it was also very thick, so thick i struggled to get it into my mouth.  i thought my jaw would dislocate, partly from the angle of my neck as i struggled to cope with his strong vertical erection from my position kneeling in front of it, trying desperately to get a little height so that i could get my mouth downwards over it.

i began licking the head of his cock and then along the shaft as i struggled for a position where i could take all of him but i need not have bothered for his hands soon locked onto either side of my head and began to manipulate me, moving my head and hence my mouth over his engorged member, working it down into my throat so that i could hardly breathe.  Gradually, i became more used to his size and to the frequency of his thrusting and my head being pushed against him so that i found a way of breathing between the thrusts which, after first becoming longer and deeper, began to increase in frequency until my whole head was forced against his abdomen, i could feel his balls against my chin and his cock so far down my throat i thought i would choke.  And he held me like that while his whole body convulsed and shook as he exploded inside my throat, pulling back a little then so that i could taste him as he shed his seed into my mouth.

Tears were running down my cheeks now, smudging my make-up.  They were tears of joy mixed with shame mixed with pain.  Joy at having been used as if i were a woman, shame at feeling like a slut and whore and pain from my aching neck and jaw as well as a sore throat.

As he subsided, he spoke gently but firmly to me, fondling me once again.  He held me to him and told me he was proud of me and how he was also going to rape my ass.  As i knelt by him in my blindfold darkness, a new fear possessed me.  His cock had seemed so big, how would my ass cope?

First though, he switched on my TV and loaded a pornographic video into the machine.  i could not see what he was watching but i could hear the unmistakable noises of sexual activity and i could feel his hand gently stroking his own member while he watched.  Not before long, he told me to get back to work on his cock and my head was guided down back over his newly erect member.  He did not manipulate my head this time but allowed me to quietly work my tongue over, around and along it, taking it fully into my mouth every so often until, after what had seemed forever, he stood up and guided me so that my face was down into the sofa.  i felt his hands pull down my panties and with his feet he pushed my knees as far apart as they would go.  Something wet then smeared first around my ass and then pushed inside by his fingers.  i think i whimpered at him then to not hurt me but i had no response from him other than gentle but firm pressure on my virgin ass as he slowly but inexorably pushed his cock inside me.  It was difficult to begin with and he retreated and added more lubricant before returning, first opening me a little more with a finger, then two and getting me more ready to accept him so that when his cock returned to my ass for the second time, i felt it make a little headway and then a stab of pain followed by a feeling of ecstasy as his cock slid deep inside me.  That stab of pain was intense and i feared he had split me but it was forgotten quickly as his cock penetrated my ass much further than any dildo i had practiced with before.  i found myself moving with him, following his rhythm, wriggling my ass trying to impale myself even further onto him.  His hands were cupping my breasts and pinching my nipples and i ached again for release but it was he who came first, his body shaking and convulsing within me.

He pulled out of me, somehow managing to leave his cum filled condom inside me.  As i knelt there i could feel his cum trickling out of it and onto my leg and then into my panties which he pulled up for me.  Then, he was back in front of me and i was tasting him again as i cleaned off his cock with my tongue.  It was becoming flaccid now and was easier for me to manage and so i soon had it cleaned to his satisfaction.

He helped me to stand and then led me back to my kitchen table where he bent me over as i had been when he arrived.  He placed a small key in my hand and told me it would release me from the cuffs once he had gone but i was not to attempt release until i heard my door close behind him.

He left me then, still dressed as a whore and now feeling like one in cum soaked panties, his jizm still seeping out of my ass.  i had not even seen his face!  i removed the cuffs and the blindfold only to find myself still in the dark.  He had switched out the lights.  When i put them back on, there on the kitchen table was a small envelope which i opened and found inside a $5 note and a message which said “Thank you slut, until next time!”  And so i was just what i felt, a $5 whore.

Saturday December 5th 2009 – the fire burning within

A luscious lazy start to the weekend, lingering in bed in my satin PJ’s contemplating my situation and thinking of Mistress Ana and Her control of me and my sexual function.  This of course added to my state of arousal and frustration but yet i am not about to break the seal on the CB-2000 nor resort to trying to find a way to reach an orgasm with the chastity device in place.  However, as i lay in bed, half dozing, i set to thinking about the significance of having surrendered control of my sexual function to another person, specifically to Mistress Ana.  If i was not locked into a chastity device it would be easy to masturbate and obtain relief but would it bring any satisfaction?  i began to reflect along the theme that masturbation is a weak attempt at self satisfaction and shows a lack of self control.  Having said that, i know myself well enough to know that without the cock cage in place, i would not have the will power or self control to stop myself from regular masturbation.  i have also experienced that deep and profound orgasm that comes from being manipulated by another, an orgasm that far supercedes the climax brought on by masturbation.  It is that very loss of control and being manipulated by another that renders the climax so much more powerful and so with that thought in my mind, i began to feel secure and safe in CB-2000 and happy to have surrendered myself and my sexual function to Mistress Ana.

i eventually got out of bed and dressed fully “en femme” straight away for my business associate had left early for a family function.  So it was with some joy that i got out of bed and put on a pink lace bra and matching pink mesh and lace panties, a short brown pleated mini-skirt, a pink cross-over top, my long red wig, and the low heeled pink and grey sling back shoes given to me by Mistress Ana.  Next, i took myself to the laundry and hand washed all my dirty underwear, all two weeks of it.  i had not had chance to do so last weekend because i was out in the mountains so today’s washing was a bigger job than usual.  Nevertheless, i quite enjoyed doing my feminine chores, hanging them out to dry on the line in full view of neighbours, not caring if i was seen, indeed half hoping i would be.

Once the washing was out on the line, i went to my desk and caught up with some correspondence and some accounts while listening to music.  i can’t describe how good it felt to be able to be true to my inner feminine self, moving around the apartment “en femme” with total freedom and then in the early afternoon, slipping out to the supermarket, not really to buy anything in particular but just to get outside and stretch my legs.  The cool breeze felt delicious on my bare legs and i couldn’t resist taking my time and walking around another block to call at a chemist to buy some more Domperidone.  i am gradually building up a large supply of the drug so that when the time is right, i can make a prolonged and concerted effort at initiating lactation in my breasts.  i walked around for about an hour and then returned to the apartment and made myself a meal.  i had washed the dishes and then brought in my underwear from the washing line and had begun to change back into male outer clothes to go and visit vanilla friends who had invited me for dinner when my associate returned from his family event.  i was really only just in time, having got my panties and bras off the line only 15 minutes or so before he returned!

The evening was very enjoyable, purely vanilla but good conversation, company and food and it was midnight before i returned to my shared apartment and slipped back into my satin PJ’s and drifted off to sleep contemplating once again my good fortune firstly in having been able to go out “en femme” today and secondly at belonging to Mistress Ana, wondering and fantasising on being with Her “en femme” 24/7, adding more fuel to the emotional and physical arousal burning within me!

Friday December 4th 2009 – Coping with sexual arousal and frustration while locked in chastity

This morning, i chose silver grey satin matching bra and thong to wear beneath my male outer clothes.  No lace today but cute little silver bows, one in the centre of the bra and the other in the front centre of the thong.  i love the sensual feel of satin against my skin and am really enjoying sleeping on the satin PJ’s i bought last week, so much so in fact that i am always reluctant to take them off in a morning, preferring to lie in bed as late as i dare and playing with my nipples through the cool, soft material.  Not that playing with my nipples in such a way is good for me. Quite the contrary, it increases my already aroused state and adds to my frustration at being unable to have an orgasm due to being locked in chastity.  Right now, i am feeling extremely aroused both physically and emotionally but the CB-2000 cock cage and chastity device is keeping me from gaining any sort of release or pleasure.  It keeps me in a constant state of arousal and awareness of my position and status as Mistress Ana’s sissy slave and keeps Mistress Herself in the forefront of my mind even though at the moment we are on opposite sides of the world.

As previous entries in this blog have demonstrated, there is no way i can bring myself to an orgasm without removing the CB-2000, something that would not only be a complete betrayal on my part of the trust Mistress places in me but it would also show failure and unworthiness which, at best would result in severe punishment from Mistress but at worst, could mean dismissal from Her service, something that i dare not even contemplate. i adore Her and love serving Her so much that to be dismissed would be more painful than the most severe beating She might ever inflict upon me.  And so, i carry the growing frustration with me along with the constant reminder of being entirely under the control of my Owner, Mistress Ana.

In idle moments during the day, this frustration returns so i try to keep busy.  If i am ever not busy, my distraction is always thoughts of Mistress and the longing for being back with Her and the relief that only She can give me.  Mistress Ana is acutely aware of the sensitive nature of my nipples and that they are almost hard wired to my cock and She has become skilled at driving me to orgasm by playing with them, teasing them, pinching them, sucking and biting on them with increasing intensity until and beyond the moment when my whole being is rocked by a climax that bursts out from deep within me.  These orgasms surpass any that i have ever experienced in masturbation and the memory of them and the hope for another on my return to Her is enough to help me through the times like now when my sexual frustration rises to a peak.

Tuesday December 1st 2009 – feeling like my old “femme” self once again!

December already!  Can’t think where the year has gone!

The good news is that i seem to be back to my old self again.  i slept so well last night, a full 9 hours and a bit more which is rare for me, and i woke feeling good and have felt great all day.  i slipped out of my satin snake-skin patterned PJ’s and into a lilac lace bra and matching panties before pulling on a green polo shirt and a pair of khaki shorts to wear around the office all day.  i had no meetings planned for today so it was good to be able to work at my desk with the low sling back stiletto heels Mistress Ana brought me from Thailand.  i did venture out a couple of times during the day though, once to drop off a pile of very dirty field clothes at the local laundry and the other to go to the jewelers to ask them to start Mistress’ pendant.  However, i was disappointed to find that the maker is in hospital and so they cannot do it for the time being.  So, i went to another jeweler nearby and they may be able to do it but i need to go back tomorrow with the design and talk directly to the man himself.  So, we start all over from the beginning.

i managed to chat very briefly to Goddess Joyce today.  She was in the clinic about to have Vincent either induced or delivered by caesarian.  At the time of my call she was unsure what they were going to do but certain that Vincent would make an appearance sooner now than later whichever method they chose.  We spoke around midday and it is now almost 11.00pm and no news so i am hoping all is well.  i will find out tomorrow.

i tried unsuccessfully to chat with Mistress Ana this morning.  She appeared to be online but i had no response so She was probably not at Her desk.  By the time i had been to the laundry and back She was offline so i missed Her.  She will be pleased to know that i am feeling well again.  Mistress had suggested that i go out and buy myself something feminine as a treat to give my spirits a lift and although i was feeling much better today and less in need of the lift, i did buy a couple of pairs of patterned nylon leggings,one in pink and the other in grape colours.  They were on offer in a shop i passed on the way back from the laundry and i couldn’t resist.  Since early evening, once all the office staff had gone home, with my business associate also out, i have been wearing the pink ones with a short pleated brown mini-skirt and a pink polo top, wig and the pink/cerise stiletto heeled sandals i bought earlier on the trip.  Oh how good it feels to be fully “en femme” and feeling my true self once again!

i spoke to my wife on the phone first thing this morning and all is well at home with Christmas for the family all now sorted.  i am trying to get an earlier flight home.  At the moment, i don’t get home until December 22nd but finish work in the UK on December 17th and could only get wait listed flights before the 22nd.  However, there is a chance that if i pay for an upgrade, i can get the flight on the 17th and be home on the 19th which will be much better both from a Christmas preparation point of view for the family and also for cleaning Mistress Ana’s house before the festivities.

Saturday November 28th 2009 – Monday November 30th 2009 – frumpy knickers for comfort

Well, here we are on Monday as promised, the weekend over and survived.  Survived being the operative word.  At 4.00am on Saturday morning, the last thing i wanted to hear was my alarm but hear it i did and with very heavy eyelids, crawled out of bed, discarded my satin snakeskin pattern Pj’s for a basic white T-shirt bra and white cotton knickers rather than panties and then my male field clothes on top.  i had no sooner got into my field boots when the door bell rang, my taxi had arrived.  i chose the simple but decidedly unsexy white cotton knickers for comfort.  Experience previously of wearing sexy thongs or panties when out in the field and having to ride on horseback has taught me to keep to the simple and comfortable when in the field, especially with the CB-2000 in place.  The cotton knickers did have a front lace panel so it wasn’t all so mundane!

As for my health, i slept most of the 1 hour 20 minute flight and by the time i arrived at Cusco i felt almost human but still not 100%.  i was not looking forward to getting up high but had no choice in the matter.  i collected the hire vehicle and, along with my local prospecting partner, drove up from Cusco to our potential prospects where, to my discomfort found we had quite a climb to get from the road up to the mine workings we were to evaluate.  This is where i knew i would struggle.  i am not usually bad at altitude, a little slower than those who live there but i do not normally suffer headaches, nausea or fainting and dizziness.  Having been suffering from nausea for a couple of days, i was apprehensive about heading up the side of a mountain at over 4,000m altitude but nevertheless, i set off.  i was slower than usual but not too slow.  It began to rain heavily before we reached the mine workings where we sheltered for a while until the rain eased and finally stopped.  i was glad of the shelter and time to sit awhile and catch my breath.  At times on the way up, i had had to stop and let my head clear for i did go dizzy now and then.  No headache though, i am glad to say and, after checking over the workings and finding lots of coarse grained gold in the rock, i felt much happier on the way down.  The rain had stopped, the sun shone and going down was just so much less effort!

Once back at the car, we began the drive back to Paucartambo only to have the vehicle break down on the way.  We managed to crawl into a small village where we left the 4WD hire car and took a bus into Paucartambo, where we sent the night.  A small regional centre, Paucartambo has no real hotels just guest houses or hostals, none of which are particularly attractive and in the end, we had little choice, only one was prepared to offer us a room.  There was no water so a shower was out of the question (it would have been cold even had there been water!). We were able though to phone the car hire company in Cusco who were superb and sent a replacement vehicle out to us straight away.  Mind you, it was after midnight by the time they had driven the 3 hours from Cusco by which time i was exhausted and sound asleep.  Fortunately, i was able to delegate responsibility for dealing with the car hire people to my prospector associate.

It rained very heavily overnight and the following morning, as we drove out to our second set of workings to visit, the roads were treacherous.  Imagine driving narrow dirt mountain roads with drops of several hundreds of metres down to ravines when the weather is good and the roads dry.  It can be scary enough, especially when meeting a large truck coming in the other direction with no passing places!  Now think of it when the roads are just wet mud and the slightest touch on the brakes sends you into an uncontrollable skid.  Add to that, a driver locked into a chastity device that has got his scrotum pinched in a couple of places and he is unable to do anything about it as he drives along and you have a reasonable picture of Your’s truly behind the wheel.

Once again, we had a lengthy walk and climb to get to the workings and true to form, it was raining quite steadily as i stopped the car.  But on this occasion, by dint of a painfully pinched scrotum, i was quickly out of the car and walking off up the mountainside if only to try and get to a position where i could get my hand inside my knickers, the same ones as i had worn yesterday, and discretely adjust the CB-2000’s position.  i am happy to say that i managed to do just that and, as with the day before, i struggled up the mountainside to the workings where once again, we found significant coarse grained gold and were able to hold an impromptu meeting with the claim owners and negotiate a good deal for all.  So, once again, our descent was a happy one.

Our journey back to Cusco was difficult and in continuing rain and treacherous road conditions.  Several stretches of mud made driving the mountain roads very dangerous.  At one point, on a series of bends on the side of a mountain, i braked well in advance of the next bend only to feel the car sliding inexorably on towards the bend with no traction or sign of turning the corner.  My associate woke from dozing and was convinced we were going over the edge.  He thought i was crazy when i took my foot off the brake and let the engine try to slow us but it was the only way, the wheels had to find traction or we were finished and when they found traction they had to pull us round the bend.  i could see a low grassy bank at the edge of the drop and was gambling on the wheels finding some grip there and so they did.  As soon as the front wheels found the slightly firmer ground, the bit and the rear of the car swung quickly around and we were suddenly parallel to the drop and pulling away around the bend.  i still can’t believe how calm i was through the whole episode.  i did not panic but just followed instinct in trying to get the car around the bend.  We came very close to disaster but yet i never felt scared and remained calm, something which impressed my prospector partner.  Having said that, there must have been a lot of luck involved too – i might have used up another of my lives!

Overnight in my usual hotel in Cusco was luxury.  So nice to be able to soak in a hot bath and then rinse off in a stinging hot shower.  After that, my appetite, which had deserted me these last few days, returned with a vengeance.  So, in clean fresh but still white cotton knickers and a clean white lace bra, i went to my favourite little trattoria and tucked into a medium sized Calzone of the house, washed down with a Chilean red wine.  After struggling through the weekend, i was beginning to feel more like my old self.

i chatted at length with the lady who owns and manages the trattoria.  Over the last couple of years we have got to know each other quite well. i was astounded though when Her 3 daughters appeared after having been dining in another room with father.  It had been the youngest’s first Holy Communion earlier in the evening so they had been celebrating.  All 3 girls were attractive looking girls in their own right but my astonishment was at how mature and stunningly sexy the eldest daughter appeared.  Very much like her mother in looks but did she ever carry herself well.  She not only looked stunning but she moved in such a way as to be enticingly seductive and, i am sure that she was well aware of the effect she had on male onlookers.

Today, Monday, was another early start for an early morning flight and after thinking last night that i was well over whatever bug had ailed me, i was not so sure at 5.00am this morning.  However, it was most probably just the early rising and relative lack of sleep for having slept again on the plane, by the time i reached Lima i felt Ok.  Back in the office though, there was a mountain of email’s to work through as well as accounts to be brought up to date and so little time for chatting online.  i tried to catch up with Goddess Joyce on the phone but to no avail so i have no idea whether or not little Vincent has made his appearance.  i did get to chat with Mistress Ana, albeit briefly, but it was good to be back in touch with Her again and to make plans as to how i can get to Thailand either with or without my wife and how we might manage to have me serve Her while my wife was distracted on other things that Mistress had planned.  All food for thought and something for me to work towards for next September/October.

Wednesday November 25th 2009 – My birthday – In the pink!

Yes, my birthday!  Not that at my age it is anything particularly special but special enough for me to linger a little longer in bed this morning, teasing my nipples through the satin of my PJ’s and fantasising of what might have been had i been born in a woman’s body.  All quite arousing both phyisically and emotionally but not good for a gurl in chastity!  So, i did not linger too long but got up and shaved, showered and moisturised.  i treated myself to my twice weekly depilation, exfoliation and moisturisation and when i had done, added an extra splash of perfume before slipping into a lovely matching pink lace and mesh bra and thong set which i really love.  It had to be pink today of all days!  What a pity i had to be at work and so had to put on ugly male clothes over the top!  i wore the pink, grey and brown shoes that Mistress Ana brought me from Thailand which was appropriate because as soon as i got to my desk this morning She was online and we were able to chat briefly.  She was very tired and had had to delay Her departure for Thailand because the equipment She was taking proved too big for checked in baggage and had to be sent by courier.  As a result She was only wait-listed on the next flight so i am hoping all went well and that She has arrived safely.

We did discuss Mistress’ ideas for a forthcoming lunch She will throw for D/s friends and associates and She will want myself and Her other slave, Paul to be there to serve in all meanings of the word and She did intimate that it would be a cock and pussy feast!  i know that will mean giving oral service to Mistress and/or Her guests and it is something i have long fantasised about.  i have said before on these pages that being a slave in a situation that is entirely private is fine but there is something special when one’s servitude and devotion to an Owner is demonstrated publicly in this way.  Many would consider it to be humiliating and degrading but in essence it is quite the opposite for it shows strength of character and devotion to another that speaks volumes more than the average expression of devotion in a vanilla relationship.  When the time comes, i shall serve to the best of my ability in whatever manner Mistress requires for i consider myself to be an extension of Her body and will, an instrument for Her pleasure and am proud to be chosen for whatever purpose She considers me suitable.

Mistress and i also have been discussing a new local Chapter of an ClubFEM, an international organisation for Dominant Females and submissive males.  The FEM stands for “Females Enslaving Males.”  They plan to have social gatherings, both vanilla and fetish, and this will be another forum where i shall hope to be able to make public my servitude and position as slave belonging to Mistress Ana.  The Club has a silver pendant and Mistress has asked me to see if i can get a gold version made for Her while i am away,   a task that i shall carry out with pleasure.

TheClubFEM silver pendant

The rest of my day was like any other day at work and with so much going on at the moment as i try to generate business, quite hectic.  i worked into the evening even though it was my birthday.  i had planned on dressing fully “en femme” and venturing to a bar for a drink but it became impossible when my associate decided that he was not going anywhere this evening.  i could have gone out in male mode but saw nothing special in that so decided to just work on and listen to music while i did so, holed up in my room with the door locked where at least i could slip into a dress and wig, be my feminine self and catch up on some useful document preparations.

Sunday November 22nd 2009 – not such sweet dreams!

i slept wonderfully in the sexy new snakeskin patterned satin baby doll PJ’s but still had a recurring dream that is becoming more and more frequent these days – or should i say nights!  The dream, or perhaps nightmare sees me being discovered “en femme” by my wife and all sorts of other people.  The circumstances vary but i always finish up being embarrassingly discovered to be the sissy that i am.  Because it is happening more and more frequently and is something that has only started to happen recently i am wondering if it is some sort of premonition.  i have had dreams before that have come true and so this is all a bit unnerving.  Not that it has stopped me dressing “en femme” whenever i can but it has certainly got me wondering.

In some ways, discovery or “outing” would be a great relief for i have often wished that i could “come out” and just live my life as i wished without having to respect societies norms for the sake of family but always these thoughts lead to “at what or at who’s expense?  i simply could not bear to be alienated from my family and fear that by “coming out” i would do exactly that.

So, after sleeping soundly, i awoke somewhat troubled.  i pulled on a tracksuit over my PJ’s and went and made some tea and kept them on all morning while i waited for my business partner and flat mate to head out for lunch, wishing all the time he would get a move on so i could dress properly.  i spent the morning working but did catch Goddess Joyce on line.  Still no move from baby Vincent but Goddess is fine and did give me some errands to run for Her so i did finally pull on some male outer clothes over my PJ’s and slip out to the shops for Her.

When i returned, i still did not have the office/apartment to myself and there was a strong smell of something having been burned.  My associate, not known for his culinary skills, had decided to cook himself lunch and managed to boil a pan of vegetables dry and burn them, ruining the pan in the process and pervading the whole building with the smell of burnt offerings!  At least this meant that he would go out for lunch, finally, leaving me to slip into fully “en femme” and prepare my own lunch.  i stayed in my PJ’s but slipped into a pair of white flat heeled open toed shoes while i was cooking, pulled an apron over my PJ’s, slipped on my wig, a little make up and some jewelery and i was set.  Gin and tonic while i cooked and a glass of red wine washed down a lovely roast boned leg of lamb with roast potatoes, creamed mushrooms, beans and carrots, all with a delicious gravy made from the juices of the lamb.  i cooked enough for another meal tomorrow and then there will still be enough meat left for a sort of hot pot or hash after that.

After clearing things away and washing dishes, i relaxed with a coffee and watched some tennis on TV before returning to my room to carry on with some administration work which took me well into the evening.  i put on my new shoes again to keep working them in.  i just adore stiletto heels and ankle straps and these are nothing if they are not strappy.  What i like about the ankle straps is that they tighten as my leg angles forward, restricting how far back i can let my legs go as i walk forward.  As a result, i am forced to make my steps quite short and mince along very daintily.

Later this evening, Goddess Joyce came back online and we chatted some more.  i was unable to get the particular wine She requires from the local stores so need to go to a specialist wine store tomorrow.  i also need to find some raspberry leaf tea for Her, it is apparently good to drink when in labour!  i have a couple of ideas where i might find some but it is not an everyday item!

So, at that, it’s bedtime and i shall be wearing my new PJ’s again.  i wonder whether tonight i will have the same dream…………………………….

Saturday November 21st 2009 – Sweet dreams, “femme” reality and D/s lifestlye debate

And sweet dreams they were!  So sweet in fact that i woke early and extremely horny.  i lay on my back in bed and felt an intense longing both physical and emotional.  It was like withdrawal symptoms i guess.  my body was crying out to be used, my nipples were hard and proudly jutting through my pink satin PJ’s and i could not resist playing with them even though i know that Mistress Ana would not approve and that i shall be punished for having done so.  Of course, this made my physical arousal all the more intense but try as i might, playing with my nipples myself does not bring me to an orgasm.  It is not the same as when Mistress Ana does it obviously and the more i think of Her the more i miss Her and the more my nipples and indeed my whole body aches.  And so, i did not linger long.  Knowing that touching my nipples would only add to my fruitless arousal, i climbed out of bed and took myself off to the bathroom, but not for a cold shower!

No, this morning was hair removal morning.  i went over my whole body with the No-No, or at least those parts that i can reach.  i did my face again for i am determined now to try and gradually kill off my facial hair.  i am under no illusion that this will take a long time but all the better then to start now.  After the No-No, i shaved my face and then decided to run the razor over the rest of my body too for the No-No does not get all of the hairs.  The result was a very smoothly shaven roxie indeed!  Next, i showered and exfoliated vigorously.  Oh what heaven it was in the hot stinging shower with my freshly shaved body all pink and tingling by the time i had finished.  After toweling myself dry, i began applying body lotion all over.  The door to my room was closed but it did not stop my business partner from just walking in unannounced.  i don’t know who was the more surprised or embarrassed, him from seeing me naked or me from not being sure whether or not he saw the CB-2000 before i grabbed a towel or whether he noticed i was hairless or perhaps even noticed the bra and panties that were still draped over the chair from yesterday!  i pulled a towel quickly around my waist as my partner announced he would be gone for the day.  i was delighted to hear this and tried my level best to show no embarrassment or discomfort as i wished him a great day with his lady friend.

After he left, i finished applying moisturiser to my face and hands and then dressed entirely “en femme.”  i applied make up, put on my wig and dressed in the same purple bra as yesterday and clean purple lace panties.  i chose a summery dress to wear and then put on a little jewelery, a lovely lapis lazuli and silver necklace and my ladies watch which i discovered in my jewelery bag after all.  i chose a pair of 4″ stiletto heels in a maroon colour that matched the dress and for which i had a matching handbag and then, putting money in the handbag, decided to go out shopping.  First i went to the supermarket to get a few items i needed for lunch today and tomorrow.  Just fresh vegetables really but it felt terrific to be outside in the fresh air, my newly depilated legs cooled by the breeze.  i attracted no attention as i shopped, at least none that i noticed, and the girl at the checkout certainly gave me no second glance.

i walked by to the office/apartment and left the groceries and then went out again.  This time i caught a cab which took me down to Miraflores.  i wanted to just wander around the shops, not looking for anything in particular other than a bargain perhaps.  And i found two!  First, i found a pair of gorgeous sandals in  beautiful dark pink or cerise colour.  It is rare to find shoes my size here in Peru because most Peruvians are small.  But, there they were!  My size, the last pair and on sale for just 50 Peruvian Soles (about $18).  i simply couldn’t resist.  i know i am supposed to seek Mistresss Ana’s permission before i buy such things but they might have gone by the time i returned with permission and so i tried them, found they fit and bought them.  You can see them below as well as how well the match the dress i wore today.

The real look of today showing the new shoes

Gorgeous colour plus 4″ heels, ankle strap and no platform

Gorgeous colour plus 4″ heels, ankle strap and no platform

Gorgeous colour plus 4″ heels, ankle strap and no platform

red with black polka dot satin baby doll pyjamas

snake skin pattern satin baby doll pyjamas

But then there was a second bargain!  i wandered into the lingerie department of Falabella (a big department store) and found that they had two-piece satin baby-doll pyjama sets selling for just 30 soles ($10) so i bought two sets, one in red with black dots and the other a sort of snake-skin pattern with white lace trim as you can see.

Satisfied at this, i returned to the office/apartment, eager to try on the pyjamas and shoes.  All fit beautifully and i am so in love with the shoes, i still have them on now as i write, close to the end of the day.  Yes, it is late now, and my business partner has not yet returned but will do soon so i had best either look as if i am already in bed and asleep or change back into male mode.  i think i will go for the former and wear one of my new pyjama sets.  Oh what a wonderful all feminine day i have had.

Oh, one last thing, this evening Lady Dynah was online and we chatted for about an hour.  It was good to have a long chat with Her again, especially on video cam.  She has cut Her hair shorter which suits Her and makes Her look younger in my opinion.  We chatted about my business plans and opportunities perhaps for some of Her friends to invest and then moved on to some of the doubts that She has about the D/s lifestyle and reconciling it with Her strong Christian beliefs.  This is not a new discussion between us and i maintain that as long as both Domme and sub are consenting then each is doing the other a service and so it cannot be a sin.  But is it fornication?  While fornication is considered a sin, then any sexual activity, even within marriage, that is not aimed at procreation would also be a sin and we accept contraception so why should a strong D/s relationship be any different?  Both the Domme and the sub have a need and each satisfies that need in the other so it is a sort of symbiosis, a mutual benefit that does no one any harm and does the individuals a lot of good in satisfying innate physical and emotional needs.  As ever, we parted with Lady Dynah in agreement but then it is Sunday tomorrow and that might just see those doubts return.

No contact today with Goddess Joyce.  i had expected to get a phone call with instructions to go to the farmers market for Her but nothing.  i tried phoning Her but got no response so maybe baby Vincent is arriving or has arrived.  i will call again tomorrow.