Tuesday December 22nd to Saturday December 26th 2009 – A Happy Christmas

Hectic is the only way to describe my day.  So much to do and so little time and with my wife now at home for school holidays, no chance this morning to do my regular depilation, exfoliation, moisturisation and general pampering of myself.  Time enough only to pull on a pair of pink lace panties and a matching bra beneath my male outer clothes.  With meetings in the city in the afternoon and much to work on in the office in the morning my day was full and then we had the office Christmas party in the evening.

On Wednesday though, i was up and out of bed before 5.00am and busy in the office finishing a little work but also putting my things together to go to Mistress Ana’s house and do Her cleaning.  i needed to get everything together in advance of others arriving to work and did so comfortably.  i also set up a number of jobs for my staff to get on with while i was out of the office, which was all day.  i left the office at 8.45am having delegated jobs and responsibilities and arrived at Mistress Ana’s just before 9.30am.  i had taken my dirty lingerie and a dress that also needed washing and put those into the washing machine the moment i arrived.  As i passed the downstairs bedroom, being used at the moment by Mistress Ana’s son and daughter in law, i noticed that the bed had been made but had since been lounged upon and so was untidy.  i could not resist going in and straightening it.

In the laundry, i noticed shoes that must belong to Mistress’ daughter in law.  i stopped briefly to admire two pairs of heels, thinking what good taste their owner had and wishing they had been my size for i admit that i liked them so much i doubt i could have resisted trying them on had they been anywhere near big enough!  i was surprised though, once in the laundry, to discover a small dog outside, whining at the door and wanting to get in and it yapped for a while once i had left and gone upstairs and changed into white lace bra and matching thong, white thigh high stockings, black patent leather stiletto heels, black mini skirt and black blouse, white apron and my long red wig.  For good measure, i added some lipstick and then set about my chores.

All of the curtains were drawn so i opened them up so as to get a good look at what might need doing and decided first that i would dust and wipe down all of the surfaces.  i worked systematically from Mistress’ en-suite bathroom, Her bedroom, then office and additional toilet before doing the kitchen and lounge followed by the staircase.  While doing so, i noticed that the bedroom and office windows really needed to be cleaned so i did them both inside and out.  While i was on the balcony outside the bedroom and office, i became conscious of a man from over the road being out in the front of his house doing some work in the garden.  i wondered what he was thinking for he must have noticed a mini-skirted maid busy on the balcony and i also wondered if he had noticed that i was bearded! These thoughts did not phase me though and i just worked on as quickly and as efficiently as i could.

Part way through cleaning the windows, i realised that my laundry would have finished washing so went back downstairs to hang it out to dry.  i kept the dog from gaining entry but did pat it and make friends with it before taking in washing on the line that had dried and hanging out my own.  Once i had done the windows and dusted and wiped all the surfaces i vaccuumed the carpets and swept the floors.  i wanted also to clean the tiled floors but was running out of time, having a business meeting scheduled for 1.30pm, so i quickly mopped over the worst areas so at least the floors looked reasonable – not as good as i would have wanted them to look but at least better than they were.

i so wished that i had had more time to have been able to clean the house more thoroughly and all the time i was cleaning there, knowing that Mistress’ daughter in law was living there, i was very conscious of the fact that in a way, i was essentially setting a standard by which someone else, other than Mistress, was going to judge my work.  Just as when Mistress’ youngest son was living there, i knew that he would see the results of my efforts, so too would Mistress’ daughter in law and i felt that she, being a woman, would be a far more severe judge of my efforts and i so wanted my work to be good enough to satisfy her for in a way, my performance reflected the control, influence and training i have received from Mistress Ana and for me to underperform would in a way reflect upon Her and any adverse criticism was the last thing i wanted.  Only time will tell whether i succeeded in my efforts to please all concerned.

Another strange feeling i had while working away at Mistress’ house was whether or not i might encounter either Her son or daughter in law in person.  i have said before that discovery, while humiliating, is something that i almost wish for because in my heart of hearts, i want people to know that i am a slave and belong to Mistress for in my opinion it could only add to Mistress’ already high esteem no matter what effect or how humiliating it might be for me and, as Her slave, the better i am in my work so too the greater the esteem reflects upon my Owner.  i do know of course that the true depth of my relationship with Mistress Ana has not been revealed to Her family and so would never do anything to change that but there is a certain part of me that truly wishes that it become general knowledge that i am owned by, belong to, am the slave of and gladly serve Mistress Ana, and that this is as much a function of my need to be known to be submissive as it is to raise the status of and aura that surrounds my Owner, Mistress Ana.

Christmas Eve was of course like a mad house.  i tried hard to complete outstanding work and send out new quotations and proposals for more work but didn’t quite get everything finished.  my children and grandchildren began arriving mid day but i had also to spend most of the morning running errands for my Wife – shopping for last minute things for dinner, lunch etc. as well as a couple of extra stocking fillers for my Wife.  The afternoon and evening was spent with family and we all enjoyed a lovely Christmas Eve dinner of roast turkey with all of the trimmings.

Christmas Day began with early Mass at the local church followed by our traditional full breakfast outside by the swimming pool, cooked by myself on the barbeque and washed down with champagne.  We then spent a delightful morning exchanging gifts with most eyes of course on my grandson of 15 months.  By early afternoon all guests had gone and my Wife and i were left to our own devices – time to check out my own gifts and quietly relax and recover from the hectic last few days.  On the excuse of needing to download pictures from my camera, i was able to get over to my office late in the afternoon where i opened the gifts given to me by Mistress Ana.  She gave me a lovely “baby love” pamper pack and some chocolates making me feel very feminine and much loved.  i do have a gift for Mistress of course but She will not be able to receive it until we meet up again.

Boxing Day is a big sports day in Australia and also a major shopping day in the sales.  The female in me would have loved to go shopping but not in the mad crazy rush of the sales so it was a quiet day watching sport on TV and entertaining occasional visitors.  Both yesterday and today i wore the same pink lace bra beneath my male clothes with pink lace panties to match.  No real opportunities to go online but i did find out why “My Virtual Model” is not working – they are re-vamping the site and it will be back on line on January 4th.  By then i will be in England and staying with my mother in law.  Not much chance to be femme in that environment and it will be difficult enough to wear even panties beneath my male clothes to say nothing of keeping the CB-2000 chastity device secret.  However, i am almost at the point where i would like it to be discovered by my wife.  It would take some explaining but i have an idea of the approach i will take as and when it happens and somehow i want Her to know that deep inside i need such control on my sexual function and also need to express my feminine side.  She need not know about Mistress Ana but it would open up an opportunity for Her to take advantage of the situation and take control, something i have longed for all of our married life.  However, i seriously doubt that She would change Her approach to me and my ways but it would take away the need for me to be so secretive about wearing female lingerie and of course the chastity device if She would only accept that it is something i need to do.

Saturday December 5th 2009 – the fire burning within

A luscious lazy start to the weekend, lingering in bed in my satin PJ’s contemplating my situation and thinking of Mistress Ana and Her control of me and my sexual function.  This of course added to my state of arousal and frustration but yet i am not about to break the seal on the CB-2000 nor resort to trying to find a way to reach an orgasm with the chastity device in place.  However, as i lay in bed, half dozing, i set to thinking about the significance of having surrendered control of my sexual function to another person, specifically to Mistress Ana.  If i was not locked into a chastity device it would be easy to masturbate and obtain relief but would it bring any satisfaction?  i began to reflect along the theme that masturbation is a weak attempt at self satisfaction and shows a lack of self control.  Having said that, i know myself well enough to know that without the cock cage in place, i would not have the will power or self control to stop myself from regular masturbation.  i have also experienced that deep and profound orgasm that comes from being manipulated by another, an orgasm that far supercedes the climax brought on by masturbation.  It is that very loss of control and being manipulated by another that renders the climax so much more powerful and so with that thought in my mind, i began to feel secure and safe in CB-2000 and happy to have surrendered myself and my sexual function to Mistress Ana.

i eventually got out of bed and dressed fully “en femme” straight away for my business associate had left early for a family function.  So it was with some joy that i got out of bed and put on a pink lace bra and matching pink mesh and lace panties, a short brown pleated mini-skirt, a pink cross-over top, my long red wig, and the low heeled pink and grey sling back shoes given to me by Mistress Ana.  Next, i took myself to the laundry and hand washed all my dirty underwear, all two weeks of it.  i had not had chance to do so last weekend because i was out in the mountains so today’s washing was a bigger job than usual.  Nevertheless, i quite enjoyed doing my feminine chores, hanging them out to dry on the line in full view of neighbours, not caring if i was seen, indeed half hoping i would be.

Once the washing was out on the line, i went to my desk and caught up with some correspondence and some accounts while listening to music.  i can’t describe how good it felt to be able to be true to my inner feminine self, moving around the apartment “en femme” with total freedom and then in the early afternoon, slipping out to the supermarket, not really to buy anything in particular but just to get outside and stretch my legs.  The cool breeze felt delicious on my bare legs and i couldn’t resist taking my time and walking around another block to call at a chemist to buy some more Domperidone.  i am gradually building up a large supply of the drug so that when the time is right, i can make a prolonged and concerted effort at initiating lactation in my breasts.  i walked around for about an hour and then returned to the apartment and made myself a meal.  i had washed the dishes and then brought in my underwear from the washing line and had begun to change back into male outer clothes to go and visit vanilla friends who had invited me for dinner when my associate returned from his family event.  i was really only just in time, having got my panties and bras off the line only 15 minutes or so before he returned!

The evening was very enjoyable, purely vanilla but good conversation, company and food and it was midnight before i returned to my shared apartment and slipped back into my satin PJ’s and drifted off to sleep contemplating once again my good fortune firstly in having been able to go out “en femme” today and secondly at belonging to Mistress Ana, wondering and fantasising on being with Her “en femme” 24/7, adding more fuel to the emotional and physical arousal burning within me!

Wednesday December 2nd 2009 – There is none so free as the slave!

i finally managed to get hold of Goddess Joyce this morning and learned that She had had a caesarian section yesterday and so Vincent had arrived and weighed in at a hearty and healthy 4.16 kilos (about 9 and a half pounds) and 52cm in length.  All went well and both mother and baby are doing fine.  i have been invited to go to the clinic and visit but will need to go and buy a small gift first.

i also had a good chat today with Mistress Ana.  Strange that we had both been thinking/fantasising about me being in service to Her 24/7.  i have to confess that were my wife to pass away before me then i would most definitely seek such a position of permanent and continual slavery and were it not for my marriage, i would be doing so right now.  Mistress was of a similar sentiment with regard to Her own marriage.

Why would anyone want to enter into permanent full time slavery? It seems a crazy notion and that the proponent would have to be insane but i can assure any reader that i am far from insane and yet crave such a status.  It is a great paradox but slavery actually brings with it an enormous freedom, a freedom from responsibility in many ways for the slave has only ever to carry out his Master’s/Mistresses wishes and is never faced with having to make decisions or be responsible for others.  Having been a business leader for most of my life and a family head also, i am used to having responsibility for others and am generally considered to be a good leader and manager but that position carries with it a burden of responsibility whereas slavery carries no burden other than the burden of service which is a giving of one’s self.  i am by nature a giving person and so for me, to give myself to someone whom i love and adore is a natural desire and hence permanent full time slavery is a natural progression.  When considering the burden of responsibility, “there is none so free as the slave nor so bound as the Master” for as much as the slave does for his owner, the owner has duty of care and is responsible for the slave.

So, thoughts of being with Mistress Ana 24/7 are constantly on my mind and are a constant source of physical and emotional arousal for me.  i dream of sleeping chained to the foot of Her bed or of having a small cell where i am kept when not in use.  i dream of being permanently “en femme” and of not only doing Mistress housework but going out and doing Her shopping, Her cooking, running errands and carrying out all manner of different tasks and duties for Her.  What would be my reward?  Certainly a regular beating whether i have done anything seriously wrong or not but a beating to confirm and reassert status, but also love and nurturing, the delight of oral service and of being held, caressed and cherished by Her, and above all, the joy and satisfaction of giving pleasure to another and of making someone else’s life better.

Finally, i chose pink today, matching lace bra and panties.  It really is my favourite colour.  Also, i noticed that “Peeptoe Shoes” are having a sale.  Oh, how i adore some of those shoes, especially these gorgeous 4″ stiletto heeled strappy red sandals and just so wish i could both afford to buy them and also that i could manage to buy them in such a way that my wife would not find out!  Talking of sales, i have joined a website called “ideeli” which is an incredible site for bargains of all kinds.  Genuine designer clothes and goods at incredible discounts but such a pity that to take advantage of the offers you have to live in the USA.  If it were a global organisation it would be fantastic.

Monday November 23rd 2009 – Crime and punishment

No silly dreams last night, i slept soundly and woke up refreshed ready for the start of another week on the road.  i chose my olive-grey lace bra this morning, it is one of my favourites for it pushes my breasts out nicely and is very comfortable.  With them i put on almost transparent grey mesh panties from La Senza , one of my favourite underwear stores that i visit whenever i am in Toronto.  Sadly, the weekend being over, it was male outer clothes all day although, of course i wore stiletto heels, a lovely maroon pair with an open toe and a small platform, while at my desk, which was most of the day.

i had received a mountain of messages overnight and most needed to be dealt with quite urgently and then there was the work i had scheduled for today that couln’t be put off.  So, it was a long day but it was at least pleasantly interspersed with conversations online and over the phone with Mistress Ana and Goddess Joyce respectively.  It was, as ever, lovely to chat with Mistress Ana, even though in the course of the conversation i managed to earn two causes for punishment on my return.  The first for not admitting quickly enough that She was always at least one step ahead of my thoughts and the second for still not having painted the humbler bright red.  i explained that i have the paint but that i have to be very careful and discrete in when and where i do the painting, all of which is true but my delay on this is not acceptable and so i shall be punished,

To an outsider, the beating i shall get for these two misdemeanours might seem harsh but i accept them quite gladly.  People might think that anyone who allows another to paddle his rear or whip him must have something missing upstairs but that is not the case.  The exercise is one in which Mistress reasserts Her authority and control and is necessary so as to maintain the Owner/slave relationship and keeps me, the slave, very much in my place.  Believe it or not, but i actually need this form of discipline and although it hurts and i never actually relish the painful aspects of it, it is a bonding experience and one after which i feel so emotionally close to my Owner that the elation is hard to describe.  Elation?  Yes, for i am filled with respect for Mistress Ana plus love and joy that i belong to such a strong willed woman who could have number of slaves but has included me among them and has given me in return, Her love and Her nurturing.  D/s is not all about punishment, there is the nurturing aspect also and Mistress has been more than generous in Her gifts to me both physical, like the shoes, handbag and clothing for example, as well as in shaping my behaviour, my femininity and my emotional well being.

So, though i now have punishment lined up, i knew that i would have some punishment and need some discipline when i am next with Mistress anyway.  My chat on the phone with Goddess Joyce was equally enjoyable even though i failed to find the wine that She specifically requested.  The truth is that it does not exist.  i tried the best wine  merchants in Lima and even went to the winemaker’s website and discovered that it does not exist, not these days anyway.  i suspect it to be a wine that She enjoyed several years ago and that it has been superceded.  In any event, there will be some additional punishment for me there no doubt, especially because i could not find the raspberry leaf tea either!  But punishment shows that She cares and that i too care enough to do my best for Her when running errands.

Such failures are not crimes as such for they cannot be helped but they would be if i were to be deliberately lax in my efforts.  In that case, the punishment is a way of making me shape up or ship out.  If i did not want to serve then i would not serve well and so would resent the punishment and would walk away from the relationship.  The essence of the discipline is that by accepting it i am confirming that i truly do wish to continue in the relationship and that i need to do more to please my Owner.  Everything has its price, and the punishment and pain that goes with discipline is the payment for the joy of belonging to and having a close personal relationship in service of beautiful, strong willed women like Mistress Ana, Goddess Joyce and Lady Dynah, each of whom i adore and am very proud to know and serve.

Saturday November 21st 2009 – Sweet dreams, “femme” reality and D/s lifestlye debate

And sweet dreams they were!  So sweet in fact that i woke early and extremely horny.  i lay on my back in bed and felt an intense longing both physical and emotional.  It was like withdrawal symptoms i guess.  my body was crying out to be used, my nipples were hard and proudly jutting through my pink satin PJ’s and i could not resist playing with them even though i know that Mistress Ana would not approve and that i shall be punished for having done so.  Of course, this made my physical arousal all the more intense but try as i might, playing with my nipples myself does not bring me to an orgasm.  It is not the same as when Mistress Ana does it obviously and the more i think of Her the more i miss Her and the more my nipples and indeed my whole body aches.  And so, i did not linger long.  Knowing that touching my nipples would only add to my fruitless arousal, i climbed out of bed and took myself off to the bathroom, but not for a cold shower!

No, this morning was hair removal morning.  i went over my whole body with the No-No, or at least those parts that i can reach.  i did my face again for i am determined now to try and gradually kill off my facial hair.  i am under no illusion that this will take a long time but all the better then to start now.  After the No-No, i shaved my face and then decided to run the razor over the rest of my body too for the No-No does not get all of the hairs.  The result was a very smoothly shaven roxie indeed!  Next, i showered and exfoliated vigorously.  Oh what heaven it was in the hot stinging shower with my freshly shaved body all pink and tingling by the time i had finished.  After toweling myself dry, i began applying body lotion all over.  The door to my room was closed but it did not stop my business partner from just walking in unannounced.  i don’t know who was the more surprised or embarrassed, him from seeing me naked or me from not being sure whether or not he saw the CB-2000 before i grabbed a towel or whether he noticed i was hairless or perhaps even noticed the bra and panties that were still draped over the chair from yesterday!  i pulled a towel quickly around my waist as my partner announced he would be gone for the day.  i was delighted to hear this and tried my level best to show no embarrassment or discomfort as i wished him a great day with his lady friend.

After he left, i finished applying moisturiser to my face and hands and then dressed entirely “en femme.”  i applied make up, put on my wig and dressed in the same purple bra as yesterday and clean purple lace panties.  i chose a summery dress to wear and then put on a little jewelery, a lovely lapis lazuli and silver necklace and my ladies watch which i discovered in my jewelery bag after all.  i chose a pair of 4″ stiletto heels in a maroon colour that matched the dress and for which i had a matching handbag and then, putting money in the handbag, decided to go out shopping.  First i went to the supermarket to get a few items i needed for lunch today and tomorrow.  Just fresh vegetables really but it felt terrific to be outside in the fresh air, my newly depilated legs cooled by the breeze.  i attracted no attention as i shopped, at least none that i noticed, and the girl at the checkout certainly gave me no second glance.

i walked by to the office/apartment and left the groceries and then went out again.  This time i caught a cab which took me down to Miraflores.  i wanted to just wander around the shops, not looking for anything in particular other than a bargain perhaps.  And i found two!  First, i found a pair of gorgeous sandals in  beautiful dark pink or cerise colour.  It is rare to find shoes my size here in Peru because most Peruvians are small.  But, there they were!  My size, the last pair and on sale for just 50 Peruvian Soles (about $18).  i simply couldn’t resist.  i know i am supposed to seek Mistresss Ana’s permission before i buy such things but they might have gone by the time i returned with permission and so i tried them, found they fit and bought them.  You can see them below as well as how well the match the dress i wore today.

The real look of today showing the new shoes

Gorgeous colour plus 4″ heels, ankle strap and no platform

Gorgeous colour plus 4″ heels, ankle strap and no platform

Gorgeous colour plus 4″ heels, ankle strap and no platform

red with black polka dot satin baby doll pyjamas

snake skin pattern satin baby doll pyjamas

But then there was a second bargain!  i wandered into the lingerie department of Falabella (a big department store) and found that they had two-piece satin baby-doll pyjama sets selling for just 30 soles ($10) so i bought two sets, one in red with black dots and the other a sort of snake-skin pattern with white lace trim as you can see.

Satisfied at this, i returned to the office/apartment, eager to try on the pyjamas and shoes.  All fit beautifully and i am so in love with the shoes, i still have them on now as i write, close to the end of the day.  Yes, it is late now, and my business partner has not yet returned but will do soon so i had best either look as if i am already in bed and asleep or change back into male mode.  i think i will go for the former and wear one of my new pyjama sets.  Oh what a wonderful all feminine day i have had.

Oh, one last thing, this evening Lady Dynah was online and we chatted for about an hour.  It was good to have a long chat with Her again, especially on video cam.  She has cut Her hair shorter which suits Her and makes Her look younger in my opinion.  We chatted about my business plans and opportunities perhaps for some of Her friends to invest and then moved on to some of the doubts that She has about the D/s lifestyle and reconciling it with Her strong Christian beliefs.  This is not a new discussion between us and i maintain that as long as both Domme and sub are consenting then each is doing the other a service and so it cannot be a sin.  But is it fornication?  While fornication is considered a sin, then any sexual activity, even within marriage, that is not aimed at procreation would also be a sin and we accept contraception so why should a strong D/s relationship be any different?  Both the Domme and the sub have a need and each satisfies that need in the other so it is a sort of symbiosis, a mutual benefit that does no one any harm and does the individuals a lot of good in satisfying innate physical and emotional needs.  As ever, we parted with Lady Dynah in agreement but then it is Sunday tomorrow and that might just see those doubts return.

No contact today with Goddess Joyce.  i had expected to get a phone call with instructions to go to the farmers market for Her but nothing.  i tried phoning Her but got no response so maybe baby Vincent is arriving or has arrived.  i will call again tomorrow.

Thursday November 12th 2009 – A surprise visit to Mistress Ana

What a strange but wonderful day!  It began ordinarily enough with me choosing white underwire bra and white cotton panties with a lace trim to wear beneath my male clothes.  i then went to work expecting the arrival of a plumber to fix our sewage recycling system.  As i was alone in the office and with there being no none in the house either, normally i would have dressed fully “en femme” but, because i was expecting the plumber, i was unable to do so.  i did however take the opportunity to run some of my ladies underwear thro ugh a hand wash cycle while awaiting the plumber’s arrival.  In the meantime, my gardener showed up unexpectedly so it was fortunate that i had not dressed “en femme.”  He didn’t stay long because it began to rain.

After he left, i began sorting and collecting a set of clothes to take with me on my travels next week.  Because i will be leaving on Sunday evening, i needed to get my “femme’ things into my suitcase ahead of time because i will not be able to bring them over to the house at the weekend with my wife around.  i would usually have done this on the Friday but with plans to be with Mistress on Friday, i decided to do it today.

That done, i returned to my desk and found Mistress Ana online and so was able to chat.  Her builders had finished and She wanted me to go over and visit Her today.  i explained that i was waiting on the plumber but would be able to come once he had finished.  As we chatted, i phoned the plumber to find out if and when he would arrive.  He decided instead to come tomorrow!  So, i decided that i would go over to Mistress’ house as soon as i had got my washing dry which had to be done in the drier because of the rain.

While my washing dried, i quickly went and got ready for my visit to Mistress Ana.  This meant giving myself an enema, something i do using the lower outlet in the shower and a plastic connection hose for a shower spray with the rose removed.  It enables me to set the water flow to slow and steady and the temperature close to body temperature and to insert the hose while in the shower unit so as not to make a mess.  It also means that if i go too far and overfill myself, i have only to clean the shower afterward.  Also, the toilet is close by and the floor tiled so it is an ideal location for giving myself an enema and flushing out my rear should Mistress decide She needs to rape my ass or that i need such treatment.

As well as the enema, i decided to depilate and exfoliate today instead of tomorrow and so it was smooth, fresh and clean inside and outside that i set off to Mistress’ house soon after midday.  En route, i practiced my oath a couple of times, reciting it in my “femme” voice for practice.  This is about the only time i get to practice my voice other than when i am fully “en femme” in public so whenever i am on the road alone, i switch to my “femme” voice.

i reached Mistress Ana’s house after 40 minutes and noticed that Lucy’s car was outside.  Once i entered, Mistress sent me to change into my maid’s clothes.  Lucy was busy doing some housework.  i was told to hurry dressing because lunch was about to be served and so i changed quickly and did not bother with make up or items of jewelery.  As we ate lunch together, Mistress, Lucy and i, Mistress told me about Lucy’s marriage break up.  A very sad situation for all concerned.  Mistress, to both of our surprise, handed each of us a plastic bag with small packages to be placed under our respective Christmas trees.  This was a lovely surprise and so very much appreciated.

Lucy had to leave to return to work at 2.00pm after which Mistress and i chatted on a little longer before She decided that i should be punished for my errors with the making up of Her son’s bed.  We retired to the bedroom where, before being punished, Mistress had me suckle in Her breasts and worship at Her altar, lavishing attention to Her pussy.  For me, this was of course much better than being punished but the punishment was only postponed briefly for Mistress quickly had me on all fours on Her bed with my ass exposed and then treated to a sound paddling first and the several stokes of the riding crop.  It does hut but not unbearably and after the stinging sensation of the crop, i soon felt that delicious warm glow spread across my ass cheeks.  Mistress intends that i am constantly reminded of Her while i am away from Her and this is one way of doing so, not the the constant presence of the CB-2000 doesn’t already keep Her firmly placed in the centre of my thoughts at all times.

The punishment over, Mistress returned me to my dutiful worship of Her body, both breast were suckled intently as well as her pussy.  But, Mistress also likes to play with my breasts and nipples and i was delighted by Her attention to them as i worshiped Her’s in turn.  Eventually though, Mistress’ attention became focused entirely on my tits and She aggressively suckled and bit on them, kneaded them and pinched them, reveling in my response for Her actions were clearly arousing me.  Mistress persisted, having told me i was not to come and so i stood as passively as i could, desperately trying not to reach an orgasm.  But Mistress is nothing if not persistent and drove me closer and closer to that orgasm until i could no longer resist and was consumed by that deep internal and uncontrollable series of spasms that shook my whole body.  This was the second time that Mistress has brought me to orgasm by just playing with my tits and nipples.  My cock, encased in its CB-2000 cage, enlarged to fill its prison, remained untouched and still flaccid yet my orgasm was deep and profound and far more satisfying than any masturbation i have ever performed myself.

As i came back down to earth i recall saying just how much i adored and loved Mistress Ana, my Owner, and how fortunate i was to belong to Her.  And it is true for even as i write this, memories of the afternoon and of Her flood back and arouse me yet again.  i am Her slave, i have given myself to Her and as such must bend to Her will and strive to please Her at all times and i find great joy and satisfaction in doing that and if my reward is only ever to be used as a sexual instrument of Her pleasure, it is reward enough.  i thrive on the scent and taste of Her nectar and it is indeed intoxicating.  How could i not strive to be the best slave with such nourishment as an incentive?

But it is more than that.  Afterward, Mistress assigned me to a pile of laundry that needed to be ironed.  What a chore, many would think but to me it was a pleasure to be given the task, it is almost in itself a form of worship, adoration and appreciation of Her for in saving Her this task i am pleasing Her.  And so, as i stood in my black patent leather stiletto heeled pumps in white thigh high stay-up stockings, black mini skirt, blouse, white apron and my long red wig, sweating in the afternoon heat and humidity, i had joy in my heart and sang along with the music Mistress was playing.  Yes, by the time i had to leave, my feet ached, my legs ached, my ass was still glowing and my nipples were tender and sore but inside, my heart was light and my sense of self esteem was high for i had given myself entirely to Mistress and had served Her to the best of my ability and been rewarded.  The only sad thought i had as i left was that i was leaving, that my time serving Her was over for the day.  But i drove away looking forward more eagerly than ever to tomorrow when i shall visit and serve Her again.  What a lucky gurl i am!

Tuesday November 3rd – Cleaning for Mistress

i was up early and out quickly, calling at the shops on my way to Mistress Ana’s house to buy some flowers for Her. i arrived at Her house at 8.45am and it was close to 9.00am by the time i had changed into my maid’s clothes, comprising black mini skirt and blouse, white apron, white stockings, black patent leather stiletto heels, long red wig, hooped earrings, ladies watch and the luxury of a little lipstick.

First, i found a vase and put the flowers in water.  i had bought both yellow and orange liliums – Mistress had made it clear that i was not to buy gerbera’s, chrysanthmums or roses!  i also gave them some cut flower food.  Next, i checked to see if Mistress had left any laundry.  There was too little to be bothered with.  However, in venturing downstairs i also checked the state of the bedroom and Mistress’ office, both of which Mistress had said were a mess.  She was not joking.

First though, i made up Mistress’ bed.  The clean linen had been left on the bed apart from two pillowcases which i found among the items to be ironed and so quickly ran the iron over them and put them on the pillows on the bed.  Once Mistress’ bed was made up, i went downstairs to make up the other bed.  Having done so, i thought that the room would also benefit for a clean so dusted surfaces and skirting board and then vacuumed the carpet.  i also wiped down the surfaces in the bathroom and cleaned the mirror.  i got the impression that Mistress’ youngest son had not cleaned either room or bathroom for some time.

Next, i tackled Mistress’ office.  Again, i wiped down all surfaces and tidied up papers, being careful not to throw out anything that might be important, leaving such things neatly on Mistress’ desk.  Here also i vacuumed the carpet.  Next it was back upstairs to clean the large balcony.  When i first went out there, i noticed the lady from next door collecting Her mail.  She did not notice me though but it got  me pondering what repercussions there might be had She spotted me.  Not so much a concern for me, more perhaps for Mistress.  Anyway, i continued with the cleaning, first cleaning the surfaces and then sweeping up the grime before mopping the tiled floor and finally cleaning the glass ballustrades inside and out.   While i was doing this, the phone rang and i decided i should answer it, thinking it could be Mistress.  It wasn’t. It was an Australian male, possibly Mistress’ husband, he wouldn’t say but when he asked who i was i simply told him it was roxie, the cleaner!  Having been told Mistress would be back tonight, he said he would call again later.

Once the balcony was finished i gave the lounge room and kitchen a quick tidy up and clean, not a thorough one because i was running out of time, but swept the floor where a few crumbs had been spilled and wiped down the kitchen surfaces.  i worked through from 9.00am to 1.00pm and by the time i had finished i was starving and also perspiring as the day had turned quite warm after a cool start.  i changed back into my male outer clothes, leaving the white lace  bra and panties on underneath.  It would have been 1.15pm when i took out the rubbish to the bin as i left and while i would have loved to stay longer and to have made a start on the ironing, at least i left the place looking much tidier and cleaner than i found it.

The rest of the day i spent back in my own office working to get as much done as possible in the hope of having more time to spend with Mistress on Friday, something i am looking forward to very eagerly.

Friday October 30th 2009 – Disaster with chastity

i have no idea how it could have happened but it has.  During the night, i recall  feeling a dull ache in my genitals and, half asleep, moving my hand down to the cock cage and pulling it gently until it felt right, at the same time becoming more awake as the ache became a severe pain in my left testicle.  Further feeling around there under the cover of the bedclothes reassured me that the CB-2000 was still securely in place even thought it did not feel quite right.  i awoke this morning knowing something was amiss and, on getting to the bathroom, discovered that my left testicle had escaped the CB-2000.  i tried to get it back in without removing the cock cage but to no avail.  How on earth it got out, i have no idea but escape it did.

i was now faced with a dilemma. i could leave things as they were which would require explanation sooner or later to Mistress Ana and be decidedly uncomfortable in the meantime, or remove and then replace the cock cage using another seal, which would also require explanation and, i am sure, result in some form of punishment.  In fact, i was certain that i would be punished no matter what but decided it would be better to be truthful whether or not Mistress Ana believed my explanation.  The thought then occurred to me that i might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb and take the opportunity to masturbate.  Believe it or not though, i have never felt less like masturbating!  i was more preoccupied with how on earth the testicle could have got through the narrow confining gap in the CB-2000 rings and the consequences of it having done so to think about masturbating.  Furthermore, the horniness that develops while wearing the device is as much a psychological or emotional need as it is a physical need and i felt that i wanted to orgasm only when told to do so by Mistress Ana.  To cheat would be cheating myself as much as it would Her for the ultimate orgasm is one that is emotionally shared and not a furtive secret masturbation.

So, i removed the cock cage before getting in the shower and my Friday morning depilation, exfoliation and moisturisation ritual.  It gave me the chance to shave again my genitals and thoroughly clean that area.  After this, i replaced the chastity device using seal number CW8YD.  A splash of perfume later, i slipped into matching pink lace bra and panties, a white blouse, pink calf length skirt, long red wig and pink stiletto heeled sandals.  Before starting work, i gathered up my weeks laundry and put it through the washing machine.  Today was beautifully sunny and warm and i knew i could get all my washing done and dry before my wife returned home.  i spent the full working day in my office then completely “en femme.”  It may be surprising for some to know that such days when i am dressed “en femme” are some of my most productive and today was no exception.  i think this stems from simply being so comfortable and at home dressed as a woman that i am less distracted whereas days when i am only able to wear feminine underwear beneath my male outer clothes and ladies shoes while at my desk, i am much more conscious of my situation and on guard, so less focused on work.

Nothing else much to report on today.  No chats with anyone.  However, i did come across a wig for sale that i love.  Though i regularly wear my long red wig, i would love to have a shorter style that is perhaps more in keeping with my age and i just adore this one, a bargain at just $55.

i also discovered Christian Laboutin shoes – so many gorgeous heels on view i was drooling, and an article on “How high does one go with one’s heels? “ Such interesting reading that i not only voted on the 5″ or higher but also decided to provide the link.  The final thing was my Gravatar.  i have been creating virtual looks for myself on a virtual shopping site and decided that i could link some of the looks i have created there for myself to my Gravatar within my blog.  i am still not sure how effective it will be but i have a lot of fun virtually trying on different clothes for different activities.  It can’t equal the real thing but it is the next best thing for a would be gurl!

Tuesday October 27th 2009 – Caught “en femme”

Up early today to prepare to go to Mistress Ana’s house.  i first of all did a rapid depilation using the “No-No” followed by exfoliation in the shower and then moisturiser all over.  Splashes of deodorant and perfume had me feeling terrifically “femme” as i slipped into a red bra and red panties with white spots and white lace trim.  i was over in the office early, only then to discover an email from Mistress Ana advising me that i need not go to Her house today.  Mistress Ana is of course away and i was going to go and re-make Her bed, having put the bedlinen to wash on Thursday when i was there, do whatever cleaning might be needed and some of my own laundry and whatever Mistress’ son had left to be done.

However, i replied to Mistress’ email with mixed feelings.  Part of me wanted to go so that i could spend a half day “en femme” doing things for Mistress but the other half of me was admitting that i had a lot of work to finish and i could more spend time there on Friday if i knuckled down and got on with my work.  So, a little reluctantly, i decided not to go.  Later in the morning, i saw that Mistress was on line – however, She was also very busy so we did little other than just say hi and hope we might chat properly later.

As a result of not going to Mistress’ house today, i confess to a slight feeling of disappointment at losing the opportunity to be “en femme” and as the day wore on i began to feel increasingly restless, almost like withdrawal symptoms, which is silly really because i had such a great day “en femme” last Friday.  Nevertheless, my need to dress became an itch that i had to scratch and so late this evening, believing my wife to have gone to bed, i decided to indulge myself and slip into full female attire.  i was in my office and had open my wardrobe and was stood there in black stiletto heeled sandals, red bra and panties choosing what to wear when my wife came in with some paperwork.  The time was 11.00pm, much later than She is normally out of bed.  i was not only startled but totally dismayed that She had caught me in the act for i know from past experience that this will mean a cooling of relations for at least a few days.  She made no comment though at the time and it remains to be seen in the coming days what repercussions there might be.  After She left, i sat for a moment and then decided that i may as well carry on and so pulled out a black skirt and white blouse, pulled on my long red wig and returned to my desk and continued working for another hour before finally going to bed myself.  In my heart, i truly wish and long for the day when my wife will just accept me and my submissive and feminine needs so that i can not only dress “en femme” around the house and at my leisure but also do chores for Her and make Her life so much easier.  As Mistress Ana points out, my wife does not know what She is missing.

Tuesday August 18th and Wednesday August 19th 2009 – chores and then travel

Travelled to Brisbane this afternoon but not before going to Mistress Ana’s house and doing some cleaning and laundry.  i tried to get there as early as i could because i knew i had to leave early to make my flight to Brisbane.  However, i was held up in traffic and so even having left home earlier than normal, it was still close to 9.00am by the time i arrived.  i quickly changed into my maid’s uniform and then ran downstairs to deal with the laundry that had been left my Mistress’ son.  Fortunately, there was not so much today and one load of mixed colours was enough.  Once i had got the washing machine going, i went upstairs again and worked on the kitchen and lounge area, washing a few dishes, cleaning the coffee machine, wiping down the cooker and kitchen surfaces and cleaning the tiled floor in the kitchen and lounge area as well as the stairway and entrance hall.

By then, the washing machine cycle had finished so i took the laundry and hung it on the line in the garage, removing first some items from the previous week that were still there.  These i folded neatly and left in a pile on a shelf in the laundry for Mistress’ son to deal with on his return.  At that point, it was getting close to 11.00am so i quickly checked the rest of the house to see if anything else needed doing and found all to be pretty much in order so changed quickly back to my male outer clothes and left, taking with me the trash as i left.

Once i got home, i grabbed the things i needed for Brisbane, changed into my business suit, although i kept my slutty red and black lace bra and panties on underneath, packed my overnight bag and then left for the airport.  In my bag, i took the lovely pink nightdress that had been given to me by Mistress Ana that i had so far not had the opportunity to sleep in.  i also packed clean bra’s and panties and a pair of black stiletto heeled pumps, never even thinking twice about what the security people might think when i put the bag through the X-ray machine!  As things turned out, they took no interest in my bag at all and i made my flight and my arrival in Brisbane with no difficulties.

As soon as i got into my room at the hotel, i slipped into the nightdress and wrap.  As Mistress had suspected it was slightly on the large size but not so bad and certainly i did not slip out of it during the night as i slept.  It felt lovely to be sleeping in such a soft and feminine nightdress and i really and truly did not want to get out of bed the next morning and have to take it off.

But i did, i had a very full day of meetings and had to return to Perth the same evening.  So, with a blue shirt on under my suit, i chose pale blue lace bra and matching panties for my underwear which i kept on all day.  i often wonder what the people i am working with or meeting or sitting next to on the plane would think i f they knew that under my outer male clothes, i was wearing sexy women’s underwear and a chastity device, that i was really a sissy slave.  Mistress Ana having told me that a knowing woman can tell when a man is wearing a chastity device has the effect of making me evaluate almost every woman i meet and wonder if they are so observant as to recognise the slight bulge in my trousers for what it really is.  It adds a level of excitement to every such encounter.  Is it fear of discovery or perhaps wishful thinking for somehow the thought of being discovered and then to have the knowledge used against me so as to further enslave me is an enduring fantasy.