Monday November 23rd 2009 – Crime and punishment

No silly dreams last night, i slept soundly and woke up refreshed ready for the start of another week on the road.  i chose my olive-grey lace bra this morning, it is one of my favourites for it pushes my breasts out nicely and is very comfortable.  With them i put on almost transparent grey mesh panties from La Senza , one of my favourite underwear stores that i visit whenever i am in Toronto.  Sadly, the weekend being over, it was male outer clothes all day although, of course i wore stiletto heels, a lovely maroon pair with an open toe and a small platform, while at my desk, which was most of the day.

i had received a mountain of messages overnight and most needed to be dealt with quite urgently and then there was the work i had scheduled for today that couln’t be put off.  So, it was a long day but it was at least pleasantly interspersed with conversations online and over the phone with Mistress Ana and Goddess Joyce respectively.  It was, as ever, lovely to chat with Mistress Ana, even though in the course of the conversation i managed to earn two causes for punishment on my return.  The first for not admitting quickly enough that She was always at least one step ahead of my thoughts and the second for still not having painted the humbler bright red.  i explained that i have the paint but that i have to be very careful and discrete in when and where i do the painting, all of which is true but my delay on this is not acceptable and so i shall be punished,

To an outsider, the beating i shall get for these two misdemeanours might seem harsh but i accept them quite gladly.  People might think that anyone who allows another to paddle his rear or whip him must have something missing upstairs but that is not the case.  The exercise is one in which Mistress reasserts Her authority and control and is necessary so as to maintain the Owner/slave relationship and keeps me, the slave, very much in my place.  Believe it or not, but i actually need this form of discipline and although it hurts and i never actually relish the painful aspects of it, it is a bonding experience and one after which i feel so emotionally close to my Owner that the elation is hard to describe.  Elation?  Yes, for i am filled with respect for Mistress Ana plus love and joy that i belong to such a strong willed woman who could have number of slaves but has included me among them and has given me in return, Her love and Her nurturing.  D/s is not all about punishment, there is the nurturing aspect also and Mistress has been more than generous in Her gifts to me both physical, like the shoes, handbag and clothing for example, as well as in shaping my behaviour, my femininity and my emotional well being.

So, though i now have punishment lined up, i knew that i would have some punishment and need some discipline when i am next with Mistress anyway.  My chat on the phone with Goddess Joyce was equally enjoyable even though i failed to find the wine that She specifically requested.  The truth is that it does not exist.  i tried the best wine  merchants in Lima and even went to the winemaker’s website and discovered that it does not exist, not these days anyway.  i suspect it to be a wine that She enjoyed several years ago and that it has been superceded.  In any event, there will be some additional punishment for me there no doubt, especially because i could not find the raspberry leaf tea either!  But punishment shows that She cares and that i too care enough to do my best for Her when running errands.

Such failures are not crimes as such for they cannot be helped but they would be if i were to be deliberately lax in my efforts.  In that case, the punishment is a way of making me shape up or ship out.  If i did not want to serve then i would not serve well and so would resent the punishment and would walk away from the relationship.  The essence of the discipline is that by accepting it i am confirming that i truly do wish to continue in the relationship and that i need to do more to please my Owner.  Everything has its price, and the punishment and pain that goes with discipline is the payment for the joy of belonging to and having a close personal relationship in service of beautiful, strong willed women like Mistress Ana, Goddess Joyce and Lady Dynah, each of whom i adore and am very proud to know and serve.

Friday September 25th 2009 – A brief meeting with Mistress Ana, My Owner.

Having arrived home in the small hours of Monday 21st, i returned to work the same day and one of the first things i did was to contact Mistress Ana and let Her know that i had returned home.  i was absolutely delighted when She told me that She wished to see me today.  i rose early and as soon as my wife had left for work, i set about shaving my body and giving myself a good enema, four in fact, wanting to be as presentable and clean as possible both inside and out.  When i arrived at Mistress’ house, i was surprised to see another car parked where i normally park.  i pulled alongside it with some trepidation, wondering if perhaps Mistress had invited a friend or friends over for me to serve also.  She has indicated that this will happen sooner or later and while i am happy to oblige, it is always a little unnerving when serving others who are unknown, wanting to do Mistress’ bidding as well as possible but not knowing how demanding will Her friends be.

However, i need not have worried because as i came around to the front of the house, i found another man, slave, weeding Her front garden.  i was not sure whether or not to acknowledge him and just said good morning as i rang the doorbell.  Mistress opened the door immediately and i stepped inside where i discovered that She had taken on this new garden slave.  Mistress also told me that She was pleased with the work that i had done while She had been away both in the garden and in the house and that Her son had given Her good reports of my efforts.  However, Mistress quite rightly divined that i must have misbehaved in Her absence, especially without the CB-2000 chastity device in place, and so would need to be punished.  It was true that i had succumbed to temptation and had reached an orgasm but not entirely intentional (see entry for August 24st).  While in Brazil and Peru, i had not so much as thought about masturbating, i had been too preoccupied with cramming as much work into such a short trip.

But punished i had to be and Mistress quickly had me naked and humbled with my legs cuffed to Her leg spreader and gave me a sound beating on both my ass and the tops of my thighs but, was careful not to beat me too heavily for fear of leaving marks visible to my wife.  i am very lucky to belong to Her for She exercises discipline over me in a considerate way.  While the punishment obviously hurt, it felt good to be entirely at Her mercy and to know that i am Hers.  Having beaten me, Mistress then had me worship Her so as to taste what i had been missing and to give me a reminder of the nectar that i will miss while i am away in China.  And it was just a taste.  Mistress knew i wanted to worship Her longer but did not allow it and left me thirsting for more of Her elixir.

Afterward, Mistress presented me with a beautiful matching shocking pink lace bra and boy-leg panties.  They are adorable and i could not get into them quickly enough.  As i said above, i am so very lucky to belong to such a considerate Domme.  i finished dressing by slipping into my maid’s outfit with white stockings and black patent heels.  Mistress loves the look, i am glad to say.  We then had coffee as Mistress took me through to Her office and showed me pictures taken on Her holiday in Europe.  It was fascinating to see Her with Her Romanian relatives and enjoying all sorts of activities with Her daughter and husband.  There were many pictures to go through and we chatted a lot about the different people in the pictures but especially about Her daughter who is very beautiful and has the most magnificent wardrobe purchased from stores in Dubai.  Mistress had returned with beautiful shoes from a designer that She had learned of through this blog.

Mistress’ husband, youngest son and daughter all know about me and Mistress has made it plain to me that She hopes one day to have me serve Her husband, also She had indicated that while She was away, should i have encountered Her son, he would not necessarily bother me but might ask me to service him orally in which case it was up to me.  Today, Mistress also confided in me that She was planning to have a day when She would have me with Her to serve a number of Her friends, both female and male, all Dom(me)s of course.  i have to say that whereas i would not go looking necessarily to orally serve others than Mistress and other males in particular, my nature is submissive and my need is to serve and provided this is required by Mistress, i will of course do so.  i have given myself to Her and i trust Her implicitly and know that She would not wish me to do anything with anyone that might be risky to my own well being.  Her demands of me might seem to others to be humiliating or perverted but to me they are not, they are requests of me to demonstrate my love for Her, my desire to please Her and my absolute obedience to Her and i see all such demands that She makes of me as being opportunities for me to demonstrate my complete trust in Her, my adoration of Her and acceptance of Her authority over me, something that deep inside i know i need to have.  When i think of the years that have passed when i knew i was submissive, knew i needed to serve a dominant lady and could find no one, and see also the number of submissive males and would be slaves who scour the internet trying to find someone to take them, i realise just how very fortunate i am to have met Mistress Ana and to have been taken into Her charge.  i adore Her and love every minute i spend serving Her whether in person or doing Her bidding in Her absence.  Even this blog is a service to Her and i feel bad whenever i fall behind in writing it.

We had lunch together and chatted a little more about Her plans for me, Her other slave, Paul and the new garden slave before i had to leave.  Disappointed that time flew by so quickly, i left knowing that while i remained free of the chastity device for the period of my forthcoming vacation in China with my wife, i would be putting the device on again as soon as i returned.  Strangely, i want to wear it and feel almost naked without it.  It is a constant reminder to me that i am Her possession and am not at liberty to do as i please.  Something for which i am grateful and for which i do not trust myself without it.

Friday August 21st 2009 – Humbled to orgasm!

i was so incredibly aroused and horny today it was just not funny.  i was unable to concentrate at all on my work.  Fortunately, no one else was around in the office all day and so i was able to dress “en femme” from the moment i arrived at work until late afternoon.  But even being comfortably dressed in turquoise lace bra and panties, tan stockings, corset, bottle green top with white pants, black stiletto heels was not enough to remove the uncontrollable urges i was feeling.  i have never felt so horny and distracted in my life.

i could not even get into my workload never mind focus on it and spent the first part of the morning trying on different wigs and finally choosing a shoulder length black wig for a change.  It was while i was doing this that i encountered again the humbler i had had made in Peru for Mistress Ana.  She had suggested that i smooth the edges and i had done this a couple of weekends ago but i had never tested it.  In fact, i was convinced that i would not be able to test it while ever i still had the CB-2000 chastity device in place.  However, in my horny state this morning, i decided to test whether or not it was possible to fit the humbler while still wearing the CB-2000.  To my surprise, i found that it was possible to fit it and also to tighten the ball crusher on it.  Forced now to my knees by the humbler, i was even more aroused than before, even though my cock was not erect.  It was however pressing against the sides of its constraining cock cage, not painfully so but erotically so such that as i moved around the floor on all fours, the cage itself was rubbing against my enlarged yet still flaccid cock.  This was all too much for me and i could feel myself quickly on the point of orgasm.  Ooohhhhhhh! i knew i should not cum but yet i so wanted to and then again i didn’t want to for i knew i should not do so without permission from Mistress Ana but i had gone too far for even as i moved to try and get out of the humbler, the sensations i was feeling rose to another level and i could not go back, i reached an incredible, strong, deep orgasm, one that built up and exploded from deep within such that i could not even stay on all fours but slumped down so that my face was on the carpet.

i have never had such an orgasm before.  Yes, since my prostate surgery, i have become familiar with dry flaccid climaxes when masturbating but this was incredibly different.  It was similar to that i experienced at the hands, lips and teeth of Mistress Ana as She toyed with my nipples several weeks ago now but in this case no one was playing with my breasts and no one was touching my cock.  It was driven by the deep inner sense of submission i felt while on all fours in the humbler, the unusual position in which it had pulled my cock and balls and the firm but not painful constraint of the CB-2000 on my semi-aroused cock.  It emerged rapidly from deep inside me, like an explosion but not of ejaculate, more an explosion of emotion.  It was manifested by a shattering shaking and contracting of muscles stronger than with other orgasms and left trembling me on my knees with my arms too weak to support my face off the floor.  i lay there afterward for several minutes before struggling back to all fours and then kneeling so as to remove the humbler.  i felt drained, emotionally drained and now more than ever in true adoration of my Owner, Mistress Ana.  This experience, though i know i shall be punished for it because i have had an orgasm without Her permission, shook me for i had not realised i could experience such a combination of physical and emotional climax and it would and could never have happened had Mistress not placed me in chastity.

A day short of 10 weeks in chastity during which time i have reached an orgasm only once and that now several weeks since, had brought me to an unprecedented  state of both physical and emotional arousal.  An arousal the like of which i have never previously experienced and one which precluded me from thinking about my work and had me at such a level that the sense and sensation of submission and Ownership that i felt once in the humbler was enough to take me over the edge.  i know i shall now face punishment for this and that i shall need to learn more control over my climaxes but in my defence, i can only say that i did not set out to have an orgasm, i simply wanted to test the humbler which, i can now honestly confirm, can be worn with the CB-2000 and has had it’s edges sufficiently rounded so as not to cut into my flesh.

Wednesday July 8th 2009 – The first day of a new life?

i struggled to keep to routine this morning.  i was so excited about the impending event that it was tempting to get up early and be in the office early and to head off to Mistress Ana’s earlier than would be usual for a business meeting – the excuse i had given my Wife for my time out of the office.  So, i went to the office at 8.00am as usual and then rushed to slip on the black peep-hole bra and a clean pair of black lace panties under my male clothes, pack the wrapped humbler gift, the pair of black stiletto heels from South Africa and the CB-2000 box with other rings and padlocks, all into a small briefcase so i at least looked as if i were going to a business meeting.  By 8.15, i was on my way and, after a surprisingly smooth run through the traffic, i arrived early so drove around for 10 minutes or so before ringing Mistress Ana’s doorbell just after 9.00am.

The house is large and modern and Mistress Ana opened the door remotely and, as i entered the entrance hall, called me upstairs into a large lounge, dining area with open plan kitchen.  Mistress was dressed in a red silk, Chinese style wrap, red fishnet stockings and black patent open toed shoes. She greeted me warmly and, before i could get down on my knees and kiss Her feet, She advised me that She was going to have Her pleasure before anything else.  i did manage to present Her the humbler though and She was delighted with it and the way it was wrapped as well as the words i had put on the greeting card.  However, the humbler still felt slightly rough to the touch and so i will need to get some sandpaper and smooth down the surfaces and edges, not, as She pointed out, that it will bother Her, it is i that will suffer the roughness if i do not smooth it further.  Her first appraisal of the humbler was brief for She really did mean to have Her pleasure before anything else and i was soon on my knees in front of Her, worshiping Her.  This was an honour over and above my expectations for i had understood that this was a meeting for coffee and a chance to get to know one another better but i am not complaining, this was like a dream for me, it was what i believe i was made for and i worked my tongue over Her altar fervently.

Soon however, Mistress stopped me and W/we went through to Her bedroom where ensued a prolonged session in which i worshiped Her orally, lapping at Her pussy and sucking on her clitoris and nipples alternately, working also with a vibrator, moving it in and out of Her pussy while sucking on Her clitoris.  i was in a dream world and it got better.  Mistress was pleased with the site of my cock in its cage and at how well it looked after more than 3 weeks of incarceration.  She was also fascinated with my own tits and nipples and took every opportunity to play with them, stroking, nipping, pinching, twisting, biting them while i continued with my fervent adoration of Her intimate parts.  i was engrossed and absorbed in Her, in Her scent, Her delicious taste, the power of Her grip on my head with Her upper thighs as i worked hard to please Her and was so drawn into Her i could no longer breathe but i did not care, i could have willingly drowned in the flood of Her nectar.  Mistress kept reminding me that this was all for Her pleasure and not mine but how could i not enjoy such close personal contact with such a woman, even when Her teeth were biting and pulling on my now sensitive and tender nipples.  This was for me the painful price of pleasure and this experience was indeed both a pleasure and an honour.

After three orgasms, Mistress decided W/we would now have coffee.  The first cup, She showed me how to work the machine, pointing out as she did that in future it would be my job.  i loved the sound of that for it is a job that i want dearly.  W/we sat and chatted over coffee, about our children and their problems and issues, especially those of Her youngest son, also about gemstones and jewelery and as with our online chats, the conversation flowed and was not stilted at all.  i made the second round of coffee after which, Mistress decided She should dress properly well in time for Her friend who would be joining Her for lunch.  i was lucky enough to help Her dress by fastening Her bra and i shall look forward to assisting Her more in the future.  To my surprise and delight, Mistress also had a gift for me, a pink silk night dress and matching gown, inspired by Her imaginings of me in my pink satin PJ’s described in many accounts herein.  i shall be taking these with me in future now whenever i travel.

Finally, after looking at some flaws in the building about which She has some ongoing battles with the builder, i began gathering my things and preparing to leave.  However, with my shirt still open and my nipples still standing proudly like acorns through the peep-hole bra, Mistress returned to Her fascination of them and began fondling, sucking and biting on them once more.  Mistress is convinced that i could begin to lactate with either hormones or even the drug Domperidone.  i shall be looking into this and confess that the idea of having lactating breasts excites me beyond words.  My breasts certainly excite Mistress Ana and as i stood in her lounge while She continually fondled me and played with them i was becoming more and more aroused, as too was She.  Once more, i was ordered down to clean Her pussy of yet more nectar but as Her attention to my nipples increased so my physical and emotional arousals grew.  The more Mistress toyed with my nipples, the more i wanted to hold Her and kiss Her in return but i am a slave and so simply stood and accepted whatever She did to me or did whatever i was told.  Soon however, i began to move instinctively, the more She worked my tits, the closer i came to cumming and i told Her that i was about to cum.  i was sure i heard Her say “cum for me” and cum i did, a dry, semi-flaccid cum as is my won’t these days with no prostate and erectile disfunction but it was a strong climax, fueled by weeks of chastity, and it was an orgasm produced without any action on my cock, generated deep within by a combination of a strong physical need and a deep emotional arousal brought together by Mistress’ continued work on my now tender nipples.  As Mistress said, my sore nipples will remind me of Her for the rest of the day but more than that, the memory of that orgasm will stay with me for ever.  i have never before orgasmed without having had any action on my cock and although i knew my nipples were almost hot-wired to it in terms of their ability to make it harden, i never ever considered the possibility that i might one day be driven to orgasm by anyone playing with just my nipples.

This, in my mind, confirmed Mistress’ ownership and control of me and my body and it felt wonderful.  i left Her house feeling on top of the world for i felt sure that i had pleased Her and that i would someday be returning to serve Her again.  Yes, i too had had release and there was satisfaction for me in that but my main source of pleasure was in having given of myself to Her, of having been an instrument of satisfying Her needs before those of my own.  i remember saying that i loved Her and adored Her and it is absolutely true for the photographs i have of Her do not do Her justice, not only is She very attractive both in looks and in personality but She is strong willed, knows what she wants and has the ability to control and to use me in such a way that i want to serve Her, obey Her and be used by Her more and more.  i am under no illusion though that i have also given Her the right to discipline and punish me and i know that there will necessarily be some pain and that not every meeting will be like this one.  However, as i have said before, pain is for me the price of pleasure and my main joy is in serving and is such a joy that i will accept the pain.

Tonight, after work, i researched the male lactation issue and sourced the Domperidone drug.  i am going to try this but need to find a way first of purchasing it without drawing my Wife’s attention to what i am doing.  But it is something i have to do, an driven to do, not only because it would please Mistress Ana but to satisfy my innermost need to become as feminine as i possibly can.

Tuesday July 7th 2009

Oh how horny i felt this morning.  And as if that wasn’t bad enough, it got worse throughout the day.  i woke thinking of Mistress Ana and wondering how soon i might be able to get together with Her in person.  i had my usual early morning physical arousal but it seemed stronger today and when my Wife got out of bed early as usual on a Tuesday, i stayed in bed and could not resist playing with my nipples.  All to no avail of course.

Surprisingly, my Wife did not go off to work early as is usual on a Tuesday, instead She took Her time getting ready and it was then that i remembered that it was school holidays.  This meant that i could not retrieve my femme clothes and accessories from the suitcases and get them into my main wardrobe in my office undetected so it would have to wait.

i went over to my office and today chose black peep-hole bra and black lace panties to match my mood – frustration at my still strong physical arousal and also at being unable to sort out and put away my femme things.  As the morning went on and i immersed myself in my work, first Goddess Joyce and then later Mistress Ana came online.  It was good to catch up with Goddess Joyce who had received all of the goods i shipped from Cusco for Her and who now had Her hands full with Her neice having come to stay.  However, it was chatting to Mistress Ana that took my physical arousal to new heights.  i am happy to say that She is enjoying my journal and wishing that she could have been on hand to witness some of my exploits.  We were well into chatting though when She became disconnected.  My own connection had been on and off all morning too.  However, i had earlier emailed Her and given Her my phone number, advising Her that i was ready and willing to serve and that She could contact me on my cell phone if it was more convenient.  Even so, i was startled while over in the house, making coffee, when my cellphone rang but also delighted that it was Her.  After some moments where i went out into the garden so as to get a better signal, we were able to chat and i was thrilled that she wanted me to go to Her house tomorrow at 9.00am.  She emailed me Her address and the first thing i did was locate it on a map so that i would be sure to give myself enough time to get there promptly.

From then on the rest of the day was focused entirely on Her and on my forthcoming appointment.  i decided i would wrap the humbler and present it to Her as a gift and so created some personal wrapping paper and a personal greetings card.  But after wrapping it, i was still distracted from my work all day for She was constantly on my mind as i played through different scenarios of how the morning’s meeting might pan out. All of these thoughts enhanced my already strong physical arousal and i found it difficult to keep my self under control.  Masturbation was out due to the CB-2000 but my nipples were accessible and i could not help playing with them while i thought about my forthcoming meeting.  i was determined that i would not be late and that i would present well for i knew that this was truly going to be the first day of what i hoped would become a new life.

Tuesday June 30th – Sunday July 5th 2009

This whole week was all work with no cross dressing or sexy clothing to report.  While work went well and we were presented with some exciting opportunities, there was no excitement on the slave or sissy front.  i found precious little time to go online and so was out of contact with Mistress Ana, Lady Dynah, Goddess Joyce and Senora Sylvia. Consequently i will not bore you further.

By Saturday July 4th, i had been in chastity for 3 full weeks.  Twenty one days!  i still had experienced little discomfort and was still in a constant state of emotional arousal.  This morning, i was also in a severe state of physical arousal and for only the second time felt the need to try and get some relief.  Even though i knew it would be to know avail, i toyed with and pinched my nipples while working my cock cage back and forth against the handbasin in the bathroom.  What a fruitless exercise.  i succeeded only in increasing my arousal and exhausting myself at the same time to say nothing of making my nipples sore.

And so, with a flight departure for Australia at 2.00pm, my partner took me to the airport at 10.00am.  i was dressed still in male garb, not a single feminine item on me.  However, i had slipped a pink lace bra and matching panties in with my cabin baggage and, once checked in and in the Club lounge, i quickly went to the toilets and slipped into something more comfortable.

On the plane, i was seated on the aisle seat in business class and was delighted when a very attractive blonde lady came to sit beside me in the window seat.  She was of similar age to me, introduced herself as Barb as i finished helping stow Her cabin baggage and quite animated in conversation.  She was returning from a holiday and had left Her husband in Uruguay where he had gone on a shooting expedition.  She was so attractive and animated, clearly also very observant and intelligent, i was looking forward to a very pleasant flight with good company.  Sadly though, when they came around taking orders for pre-dinner drinks, it transpired that she was in the wrong seat.  Her seat as on the other side of the plane and had no one adjacent to Her so, She chose to move.

i watched movies throughout the flight, nothing too scintillating on the menu i’m afraid but it whiled away the 13 hours to Sydney.  Sydney though was likely to be a problem for me.  i had with me the wooden humbler, a gift for Mistress Ana.  Australian quarantine insist that you declare all wooden items and they inspect them carefully.  i was expecting an embarrassing moment or two to say the least as i was directed over to a quarantine desk.  i don’t know if i would have preferred a female quarantine officer or a male but i got the latter.  i placed the humbler on the counter.

“What exactly is it?” he asked.
“A kind of press” i replied.
A press for what?” he asked again to which i felt like saying “nuts” but probably wisely simply said “its a kind of sex toy.”
He took another quick glance at it and then said “well Ok then, on you go.”
i am not sure whether he was embarrassed or not but he hastily moved me on once i had confessed as to its use.  Oddly, i felt no embarrassment.  Have i no longer any shame?

From there, a transfer to the domestic terminal for my flight to Perth during which i was reunited with Barb and we renewed our conversation.  She was heading to Melbourne and we parted once my flight was called.

i arrived in Perth on time and was collected from the airport by my Wife.  It was lovely to be home again with Her but now i had to manage to get out of my bra and panties without Her knowledge.  This as straightforward and managed quite expertly while in the bathroom after She had climbed into bed.  Also, with just the bathroom light silhouetting me, She did not notice the CB-2000.  i was not worried that She might get amorous, it just does not happen these days since She is aware that i can no longer get let alone sustain an erection  And so, on that note, my life returned to normal, if indeed it is ever normal.

June 15th 2009 – compliments from Mistress Ana and return of the humbler!

Once at my desk this morning, it was a wonderful start to the day to read an email message from Mistress Ana.  She had read my blog for over the weekend and had seen my picture and commented that i looked stunning and that She now believed i was indeed born into the wrong body.  You can have no idea what a boost Her words gave me.  Already feeling quite feminine having showered and perfumed myself and slipped into pink lace bra and panties, it made me feel on top of the world to receive such approval and encouragement,  A fantastic start to the day.

The rest of the day was rather mundane, work, meetings, phone calls, report writing apart from one thing.  The return of the humbler!  I had sent the humbler back to the carpenter in the morning to have the holes drilled larger on one of the pieces so it would then adjust easily.  He brought it back this afternoon and it now works perfectly.  It is more than just a humbler, it is also a ball crusher too as you can see from the pictures.

While wearing the CB-2000, i am not able to fit the humbler and suspect that i would also find it nigh impossible even without the chastity device, it needs an additional pair of hands i fear.  However, I am sure that Mistress Ana will be more than capable when it comes to its fitting and application.

Also, tonight the 60 hrs of chastity and confinement were reached and i decided that rather than change to the coded security tag tonight, i will do it in the morning provided all remains well.

June 13th 2009 – Finalising the fitting of the CB-2000; lunch with Goddess Joyce, Senora Sylivia and Sister

i was awake early and immediately set about my Saturday ritual of depilation and exfoliation.  i was almost through the depilation phase with my “No-No!” when the hot wire on it broke so i was left with just the blade.  i am not sure how this is going to work long term so need to find a spare wire fitting if possible.  The last time i checked, “No-Nos” are not sold here in Peru so it might have to wait until i get home.  In the meantime there is always the razor or i might just go and get waxed if i can find the time.  The trouble with waxing though is that it does leave me all pimply and there seems a greater risk of ingrowing hairs whereas the “No-No” leaves a smooth finish and whereas it does not remove all the hair, the ones left are short and soft.

Before getting in the shower, i shaved my face really close as today was lunch “en femme” with Goddess and Her Mother and Aunt.  i had no idea what else might be in the offing so wanted to be as publicly presentable as possible.  Aaaahhhh – then the luxurious hot shower and exfoliation scrub.  i also used my time in the shower to wash my weeks worth of soiled panties and left them to dry in the bathroom.  i then did my nails, applied body lotion all over, face cream, hand, foot and nail cream, deodorant and i was scrubbed up, fresh and scented and ready for the day.

First, i tried fitting the CB-2000 with the next larger ring size but found that i would be able to squeeze my cock out of it without too much difficulty.  So, i went back to the earlier size but checked the spacers and eased them out with a size larger.  This felt fine and i was so confident that this would work well that i cut back the pins on the cage itself so that they would no longer did into my abdomen but fit snuggly flush with the inner ring.  Once locked in, there appeared to be no means of escape and yet the device felt really comfortable.  Not so comfortable i was unaware of its presence, the weight of it and the spread of my balls will be a constant reminder of Mistress Ana, but there was no pinching or protruding parts causing any issues.  So, we will see how long this fitting lasts.

i dressed in a lovely white lacy bra with additional padding to wear over my No-bra that i had suitably pulled together to give myself some cleavage and matching lacy thong which fit well over the CB-2000.  i also put on a corset and stay-up tan stockings.  When i put on my male clothes over the top for the journey to Senora Sylvia’s, my tits were way too prominent so for that journey i decided to remove the padding and to put it back once i arrived.

i began to decide what i would wear at Senora Sylvia’s and started to pack when i got a message from Goddess Joyce.  i was no longer required to get the fish but must go to the organic market and buy a whole list of things for Goddess.  This was frustrating because it was now late and i knew that i might not now be able to get everything.  Also, it was in the opposite direction to Senora Sylvia’s house so was going to make the whole thing at least an hour’s round trip.  Nevertheless, i dutifully and gladly went and managed to buy all but a couple of the items needed.

On arrival at Senora Sylvia’s, the ceviche preparation was well underway with Aunt and the maid busy in the kitchen.  i was sent to get changed and to make the beds etc. and i did so realising that now even the maid knew i was a sissy slave!  Once i had tidied the bedrooms i was set to work in the kitchen, washing pots, pans and dishes and then drying them all and putting them away.  i worked on preparing the vegetables but had nothing to do with making the ceviche, much to my frustration.  i set the table for lunch just as Goddess Joyce arrived.  She complimented me on my appearance which made me feel very happy indeed.

Shortly after, a Lady Doctor arrived to check on Senora Sylvia’s bed-ridden Mother and to carry out various procedures aimed at eliminating or reducing at least the chance of bed sores.  While this was going on, Goddess Joyce had me first kiss Her feet, then Her ass and then give Her shoulders and head a massage.  This i continued to do until the Doctor left and we all then sat down to lunch.  We chatted on a range of things over lunch and afterwards while i cleared the table, washed and dried the dishes and then sat and chatted more in the lounge while we waited for Goddess’ husband and son to call and collect Her to take Her home.

Once Goddess had left, i respectfully also took my leave as it was now early evening and i had still work to do to prepare presentations for the coming week.  i was invited to lunch again tomorrow but tactfully declined as i really do have to work on these presentations and so as much as i enjoy spending time with them “en femme” i still have to earn my living.  i changed to go back to my own apartment but once here, quickly changed back into the clothes i had been wearing at Senora Sylvia’s and re-applied my make-up. i also took a quick picture of how i looked today just as a reminder.

How i dressed today

Now, as i sit here typing away, the CB-2000 is still not causing me any problems, i have managed to get some of my work done and am feeling happy and relaxed, rounding off what has been a very pleasant day with a gin and tonic and hoping that perhaps Mistress Ana will come on line and W/we can chat for a while.  i am sure that She will be pleased about the humbler even though i need to make some slight modifications.

June 12th 2009 – The humbler arrives along with pregnancy symptoms!

Today, i took delivery of the humbler.  At first glance it looked perfect but i should have known better.  All the individual parts were just as specified.  The only problem was that the carpenter had used the threads to bolt them all together so that nothing moved.  i had to take a screwdriver and undo everything.  It will have to go back on Monday to be put right.  It should not be a long job.  All that needs to happen is that the holes on one piece are wider so that the piece itself will slide up an down while the holes on the other remain such that the bolt is a tight fit.  i tried just loosely fitting the two halves of the humbler and found that i had the dimensions about right but it was quite difficult actually testing it out without the bolts to hold one more or less in place but needing just to be slid up against the other.  i am sure though that when the holes are enlarged slightly on one of the pieces it will work fine.

i called Senora Sylvia this afternoon to confirm the lunch invitation for tomorrow and all is set.  i have been asked to buy the fish for the ceviche so i am now fairly sure that i will be cooking but hey, that’s what a slave is for and it will be great to learn this recipe.  i already know more or less what is involved in terms of ingredients but have never yet prepared one myself.

On the work front, today was mixed.  i had some success with one meeting in the morning but my lunch meeting client never showed up and did not have the good grace to phone and say he could not make it!  i called him from the restaurant and he was of course very apologetic and i have no doubt that he will make things up next week when we do finally get together but it still wasted a good couple of hours of my day.

The afternoon was not good.  Nevermind simulating Goddess Joyce’s pregnancy, i felt nauseous all afternoon and by evening had a lousy headache.  i felt tired too and so even after my business partner went out, i did not feel like dressing fully “en femme” but rather just peeled off my male clothes, removed my pink lace panties and matching bra, pulled on my pale pink satin PJs and went to bed.

As i closed my eyes, i reflected on it being 48 hours of continuous wear with the CB-2000 and that it still felt OK and was not causing me any major discomfort or problem.  The main discomfort is caused by the pins on the cage itself which press into the abdomen.  They can be cut back so that they no longer protrude but it is best to do this only when the ring size and the spacers chosen are finalised as being the optimum fit for both comfort and inability to escape.  As i drifted off to sleep, i decided that in the morning, if all was still well, i would cut the pins back so that they would be flush with the innermost ring.

i woke not long into the night with a pinching pain in my right testicle.  So, i set about adjusting the CB-2000 only to find that nothing was pinching anything.  Thereafter, the pain, though not intense, would not go away and i could not sleep.  So, i removed the CB-2000 and decided that perhaps i should try a bigger ring and resolved to do so first thing in the morning.

June 10th 2009 – Off with the old and on with the new!

Yes indeed! It is off with the old chastity device and on with the new! The CB-2000 arrived this afternoon only to my frustration, i was unable to remove the old leather device and replace it with the CB-2000 until late tonight. The reason was that there was so much happening at work today i was unable to find the time i needed to photo my cock with the old one still in lace and with seals still intact and the CB-2000 in the back ground and then photo the CB-2000 locked into place with the old one in the background. i could not wait to get back to my apartment and room after being out at meetings and then a business dinner until 10.00pm, i was so eager to try the CB-2000. The afternoon and evening seemed endless.In any event, as You can see from the pics, the time finally arrived and i was able to photograph the old and the new.

Off with the old!

On with the new!

A nice fit!

The feeling is of course quite different, my cock is still restained in the new device but it is not gripped tightly like it needed to be in the leather cock cage. Even that didn’t really hold it but with the new plastic cock cage, i know from the difficulty in putting it on that i will not be able to remove it and nor will the cock drop out of the device when it shrivels to its pathetic clit-like proportions. Yet in spite of that, it is cleanable using a toothbrush and mild soap and being open and plastic will quickly dry so i am optimistic that this will really work provided it remains comfortable. How perverse is this? A male wanting a cock cage, chastity device and restraint to be comfortable and hygienic so he can remain permanently chastised? Having read posts from other submales about being in chastity, i never thought i would ever feel happy to be placed into it indefinitely. True it was always a fantasy but one that i never felt i would want to have happen other than for a few days perhaps. But now, having found a Domme in Mistress Ana that demands it, my willingness, no, eagerness to please Her and do Her will, overrides everything and i feel that all is just as it should be. That my Owner really does Own me and my sexuality. True, for the moment it is padlocked and i still have the key so could remove it at any time. But i will not do so other than perhaps to change the ring size so as to make it either fit more securely or to make it more comfortable for prolonged wear. As soon as i am happy with it, i will secure it with a coded seal for it is very important to me to demonstrate my obedience. Now, as i sit here writing this, i feel very content. i am typing in just black , low-heeled pumps, tan stockings, red lace panties, red satin bra and long red wig feeling very pleased with myself. Not only am i now restrained as i dreamed of being but i also received a message today from Mistress Ana, once again with positive comments on me and my blog. i respond well to such compliments. i also respond to punishment where it is appropriate but believe that a nice balance between carrot and stick so to speak works best for all subs, the trick is for Dommes to know their subs well enough to strike the right balance. i love to please and strive always to do so but like all of us, make mistakes and do not always get things right. So i expect some form of correction for my errors and it will work to teach me a lesson that i will not easily forget. But it is so uplifting to receive a kind word or a little praise from one’s owner when something is done correctly or is above or beyond expectation that i will also respond strongly to such incentives Mistress Ana also enquired about the humbler. i was happy to be able to reply to Her message with thew good news about the CB-2000 as well as positive news on the humbler. i have taken a design to a carpenter who assures me that he can make one and it is now just a matter of waiting a few days for him to complete it. He was not able to give me a time frame other than to say about a week but probably less because it being something new to him, he was reluctant to commit to any schedule. However, i will ask tomorrow how he is doing and will hopefully get a completion date to give to Mistress.

Finally, i managed to chat briefly to Lady Dynah and am delighted to see that She is back to Her normal self, determined that the actions of a sub will not turn Her away from something She really loves and so is back into BDSM – hopefull not with too much of a vengeance! She is contemplating putting Her boi through the MW programme and She also wants to put some pics into the Dommes exclusive website. These pics will include some taken of me while serving Her. Lady Dynah asked my permission which of course i gave and also aske me to contact Mystress to see that it will be OK. Fame at last?………Ha – perhaps in my dreams, speaking of which…………….zzzzzzzzzz