Tuesday December 22nd to Saturday December 26th 2009 – A Happy Christmas

Hectic is the only way to describe my day.  So much to do and so little time and with my wife now at home for school holidays, no chance this morning to do my regular depilation, exfoliation, moisturisation and general pampering of myself.  Time enough only to pull on a pair of pink lace panties and a matching bra beneath my male outer clothes.  With meetings in the city in the afternoon and much to work on in the office in the morning my day was full and then we had the office Christmas party in the evening.

On Wednesday though, i was up and out of bed before 5.00am and busy in the office finishing a little work but also putting my things together to go to Mistress Ana’s house and do Her cleaning.  i needed to get everything together in advance of others arriving to work and did so comfortably.  i also set up a number of jobs for my staff to get on with while i was out of the office, which was all day.  i left the office at 8.45am having delegated jobs and responsibilities and arrived at Mistress Ana’s just before 9.30am.  i had taken my dirty lingerie and a dress that also needed washing and put those into the washing machine the moment i arrived.  As i passed the downstairs bedroom, being used at the moment by Mistress Ana’s son and daughter in law, i noticed that the bed had been made but had since been lounged upon and so was untidy.  i could not resist going in and straightening it.

In the laundry, i noticed shoes that must belong to Mistress’ daughter in law.  i stopped briefly to admire two pairs of heels, thinking what good taste their owner had and wishing they had been my size for i admit that i liked them so much i doubt i could have resisted trying them on had they been anywhere near big enough!  i was surprised though, once in the laundry, to discover a small dog outside, whining at the door and wanting to get in and it yapped for a while once i had left and gone upstairs and changed into white lace bra and matching thong, white thigh high stockings, black patent leather stiletto heels, black mini skirt and black blouse, white apron and my long red wig.  For good measure, i added some lipstick and then set about my chores.

All of the curtains were drawn so i opened them up so as to get a good look at what might need doing and decided first that i would dust and wipe down all of the surfaces.  i worked systematically from Mistress’ en-suite bathroom, Her bedroom, then office and additional toilet before doing the kitchen and lounge followed by the staircase.  While doing so, i noticed that the bedroom and office windows really needed to be cleaned so i did them both inside and out.  While i was on the balcony outside the bedroom and office, i became conscious of a man from over the road being out in the front of his house doing some work in the garden.  i wondered what he was thinking for he must have noticed a mini-skirted maid busy on the balcony and i also wondered if he had noticed that i was bearded! These thoughts did not phase me though and i just worked on as quickly and as efficiently as i could.

Part way through cleaning the windows, i realised that my laundry would have finished washing so went back downstairs to hang it out to dry.  i kept the dog from gaining entry but did pat it and make friends with it before taking in washing on the line that had dried and hanging out my own.  Once i had done the windows and dusted and wiped all the surfaces i vaccuumed the carpets and swept the floors.  i wanted also to clean the tiled floors but was running out of time, having a business meeting scheduled for 1.30pm, so i quickly mopped over the worst areas so at least the floors looked reasonable – not as good as i would have wanted them to look but at least better than they were.

i so wished that i had had more time to have been able to clean the house more thoroughly and all the time i was cleaning there, knowing that Mistress’ daughter in law was living there, i was very conscious of the fact that in a way, i was essentially setting a standard by which someone else, other than Mistress, was going to judge my work.  Just as when Mistress’ youngest son was living there, i knew that he would see the results of my efforts, so too would Mistress’ daughter in law and i felt that she, being a woman, would be a far more severe judge of my efforts and i so wanted my work to be good enough to satisfy her for in a way, my performance reflected the control, influence and training i have received from Mistress Ana and for me to underperform would in a way reflect upon Her and any adverse criticism was the last thing i wanted.  Only time will tell whether i succeeded in my efforts to please all concerned.

Another strange feeling i had while working away at Mistress’ house was whether or not i might encounter either Her son or daughter in law in person.  i have said before that discovery, while humiliating, is something that i almost wish for because in my heart of hearts, i want people to know that i am a slave and belong to Mistress for in my opinion it could only add to Mistress’ already high esteem no matter what effect or how humiliating it might be for me and, as Her slave, the better i am in my work so too the greater the esteem reflects upon my Owner.  i do know of course that the true depth of my relationship with Mistress Ana has not been revealed to Her family and so would never do anything to change that but there is a certain part of me that truly wishes that it become general knowledge that i am owned by, belong to, am the slave of and gladly serve Mistress Ana, and that this is as much a function of my need to be known to be submissive as it is to raise the status of and aura that surrounds my Owner, Mistress Ana.

Christmas Eve was of course like a mad house.  i tried hard to complete outstanding work and send out new quotations and proposals for more work but didn’t quite get everything finished.  my children and grandchildren began arriving mid day but i had also to spend most of the morning running errands for my Wife – shopping for last minute things for dinner, lunch etc. as well as a couple of extra stocking fillers for my Wife.  The afternoon and evening was spent with family and we all enjoyed a lovely Christmas Eve dinner of roast turkey with all of the trimmings.

Christmas Day began with early Mass at the local church followed by our traditional full breakfast outside by the swimming pool, cooked by myself on the barbeque and washed down with champagne.  We then spent a delightful morning exchanging gifts with most eyes of course on my grandson of 15 months.  By early afternoon all guests had gone and my Wife and i were left to our own devices – time to check out my own gifts and quietly relax and recover from the hectic last few days.  On the excuse of needing to download pictures from my camera, i was able to get over to my office late in the afternoon where i opened the gifts given to me by Mistress Ana.  She gave me a lovely “baby love” pamper pack and some chocolates making me feel very feminine and much loved.  i do have a gift for Mistress of course but She will not be able to receive it until we meet up again.

Boxing Day is a big sports day in Australia and also a major shopping day in the sales.  The female in me would have loved to go shopping but not in the mad crazy rush of the sales so it was a quiet day watching sport on TV and entertaining occasional visitors.  Both yesterday and today i wore the same pink lace bra beneath my male clothes with pink lace panties to match.  No real opportunities to go online but i did find out why “My Virtual Model” is not working – they are re-vamping the site and it will be back on line on January 4th.  By then i will be in England and staying with my mother in law.  Not much chance to be femme in that environment and it will be difficult enough to wear even panties beneath my male clothes to say nothing of keeping the CB-2000 chastity device secret.  However, i am almost at the point where i would like it to be discovered by my wife.  It would take some explaining but i have an idea of the approach i will take as and when it happens and somehow i want Her to know that deep inside i need such control on my sexual function and also need to express my feminine side.  She need not know about Mistress Ana but it would open up an opportunity for Her to take advantage of the situation and take control, something i have longed for all of our married life.  However, i seriously doubt that She would change Her approach to me and my ways but it would take away the need for me to be so secretive about wearing female lingerie and of course the chastity device if She would only accept that it is something i need to do.

Sunday December 6th 2009 – pampering myself followed by confession of crime and punishment

This morning i treated myself to a pampering.  First, depilation with my No-No followed by exfoliation with a really vigorous body scrub in a hot stinging shower so that i was left glowing pink all over.  Then i did my nails, giving myself both manicure and pedicure.  How sad though that i could not paint them!  i love having my nails painted but it is too much of a give away around the office if i use anything other than natural and i do so like to see them in a deep red or pretty pink.  So, it was just a clipping and filing today before applying hand and nail cream.  i also treated myself to a liberal covering of body lotion and face cream before applying some Nivea roll-on deodorant and perfume spray so that i felt fresh, clean and envigorated when i slipped into a clean white lace bra and matching panties.  Nothing like pure white on a Sunday!

Sadly, no chance to go entirely “en femme” today for my business associate and flat mate decided to stay home all day!  It didn’t stop me wearing a pair of white flat heeled open toed pumps at my desk where i worked on and off all day but it was still a bit of a let down after yesterday, especially as today would be the last day i could have gone out “en femme” because from now on i must let my beard grow back so that it is looking normal when i get home to my wife.

i chatted with Mistress Ana today.  She commented on how much She liked my “look of the day” yesterday and the mini-skirt in particular.  She had shared it with a girl in Her office in Thailand so now more people know of my sissy nature.   However, while pleased with my look, as i might have expected, She is not pleased with me having been playing with my nipples and i shall be punished for it when we next are able to be together.  i knew this would be the case and it raises the question why would i admit to it knowing it would mean i would be punished and suffer a sore backside as a result?  Surely, i could keep this misdemeanour to myself, Mistress would never know and i would not suffer the consequences.  Well, firstly, as a slave, i shall be punished and disciplined from time to time whether i have done anything particularly naughty or not.  That is the way of things for Mistress will always seek to assert and exercise Her authority and control.  Thus, i may as well admit to being naughty and be punished at least for something that i know i have done wrong.  But it is more than that.  It goes deeper.  By misbehaving and not admitting to it i am being deceitful.  True, Mistress may never find out but i would know that i am not being true to Her and by admitting my faults i can at least continue to respect myself.  In relationships built on trust, i want to be able to reply to any questioning on my behaviour honestly whether i have done right or wrong for sooner or later, Mistress is going to ask me about my behaviour while alone and if i cannot reply honestly it will show and my punishment would be all the more severe.

So, why play with my nipples anyway when i know that it will only get me into trouble?  The answer there is that i am weak and i just so love the sensations they cause within me when i tease them that i cannot help myself.  Perhaps in time, i will learn more self control.  The enhancement of my sexual frustration and the painful consequences of it at the hands of Mistress Ana may, in time, instill that discipline in me.  i will try hard to overcome the temptation but i will also continue to admit and confess when i fail.

Wednesday November 25th 2009 – My birthday – In the pink!

Yes, my birthday!  Not that at my age it is anything particularly special but special enough for me to linger a little longer in bed this morning, teasing my nipples through the satin of my PJ’s and fantasising of what might have been had i been born in a woman’s body.  All quite arousing both phyisically and emotionally but not good for a gurl in chastity!  So, i did not linger too long but got up and shaved, showered and moisturised.  i treated myself to my twice weekly depilation, exfoliation and moisturisation and when i had done, added an extra splash of perfume before slipping into a lovely matching pink lace and mesh bra and thong set which i really love.  It had to be pink today of all days!  What a pity i had to be at work and so had to put on ugly male clothes over the top!  i wore the pink, grey and brown shoes that Mistress Ana brought me from Thailand which was appropriate because as soon as i got to my desk this morning She was online and we were able to chat briefly.  She was very tired and had had to delay Her departure for Thailand because the equipment She was taking proved too big for checked in baggage and had to be sent by courier.  As a result She was only wait-listed on the next flight so i am hoping all went well and that She has arrived safely.

We did discuss Mistress’ ideas for a forthcoming lunch She will throw for D/s friends and associates and She will want myself and Her other slave, Paul to be there to serve in all meanings of the word and She did intimate that it would be a cock and pussy feast!  i know that will mean giving oral service to Mistress and/or Her guests and it is something i have long fantasised about.  i have said before on these pages that being a slave in a situation that is entirely private is fine but there is something special when one’s servitude and devotion to an Owner is demonstrated publicly in this way.  Many would consider it to be humiliating and degrading but in essence it is quite the opposite for it shows strength of character and devotion to another that speaks volumes more than the average expression of devotion in a vanilla relationship.  When the time comes, i shall serve to the best of my ability in whatever manner Mistress requires for i consider myself to be an extension of Her body and will, an instrument for Her pleasure and am proud to be chosen for whatever purpose She considers me suitable.

Mistress and i also have been discussing a new local Chapter of an ClubFEM, an international organisation for Dominant Females and submissive males.  The FEM stands for “Females Enslaving Males.”  They plan to have social gatherings, both vanilla and fetish, and this will be another forum where i shall hope to be able to make public my servitude and position as slave belonging to Mistress Ana.  The Club has a silver pendant and Mistress has asked me to see if i can get a gold version made for Her while i am away,   a task that i shall carry out with pleasure.

TheClubFEM silver pendant

The rest of my day was like any other day at work and with so much going on at the moment as i try to generate business, quite hectic.  i worked into the evening even though it was my birthday.  i had planned on dressing fully “en femme” and venturing to a bar for a drink but it became impossible when my associate decided that he was not going anywhere this evening.  i could have gone out in male mode but saw nothing special in that so decided to just work on and listen to music while i did so, holed up in my room with the door locked where at least i could slip into a dress and wig, be my feminine self and catch up on some useful document preparations.

Saturday November 21st 2009 – Sweet dreams, “femme” reality and D/s lifestlye debate

And sweet dreams they were!  So sweet in fact that i woke early and extremely horny.  i lay on my back in bed and felt an intense longing both physical and emotional.  It was like withdrawal symptoms i guess.  my body was crying out to be used, my nipples were hard and proudly jutting through my pink satin PJ’s and i could not resist playing with them even though i know that Mistress Ana would not approve and that i shall be punished for having done so.  Of course, this made my physical arousal all the more intense but try as i might, playing with my nipples myself does not bring me to an orgasm.  It is not the same as when Mistress Ana does it obviously and the more i think of Her the more i miss Her and the more my nipples and indeed my whole body aches.  And so, i did not linger long.  Knowing that touching my nipples would only add to my fruitless arousal, i climbed out of bed and took myself off to the bathroom, but not for a cold shower!

No, this morning was hair removal morning.  i went over my whole body with the No-No, or at least those parts that i can reach.  i did my face again for i am determined now to try and gradually kill off my facial hair.  i am under no illusion that this will take a long time but all the better then to start now.  After the No-No, i shaved my face and then decided to run the razor over the rest of my body too for the No-No does not get all of the hairs.  The result was a very smoothly shaven roxie indeed!  Next, i showered and exfoliated vigorously.  Oh what heaven it was in the hot stinging shower with my freshly shaved body all pink and tingling by the time i had finished.  After toweling myself dry, i began applying body lotion all over.  The door to my room was closed but it did not stop my business partner from just walking in unannounced.  i don’t know who was the more surprised or embarrassed, him from seeing me naked or me from not being sure whether or not he saw the CB-2000 before i grabbed a towel or whether he noticed i was hairless or perhaps even noticed the bra and panties that were still draped over the chair from yesterday!  i pulled a towel quickly around my waist as my partner announced he would be gone for the day.  i was delighted to hear this and tried my level best to show no embarrassment or discomfort as i wished him a great day with his lady friend.

After he left, i finished applying moisturiser to my face and hands and then dressed entirely “en femme.”  i applied make up, put on my wig and dressed in the same purple bra as yesterday and clean purple lace panties.  i chose a summery dress to wear and then put on a little jewelery, a lovely lapis lazuli and silver necklace and my ladies watch which i discovered in my jewelery bag after all.  i chose a pair of 4″ stiletto heels in a maroon colour that matched the dress and for which i had a matching handbag and then, putting money in the handbag, decided to go out shopping.  First i went to the supermarket to get a few items i needed for lunch today and tomorrow.  Just fresh vegetables really but it felt terrific to be outside in the fresh air, my newly depilated legs cooled by the breeze.  i attracted no attention as i shopped, at least none that i noticed, and the girl at the checkout certainly gave me no second glance.

i walked by to the office/apartment and left the groceries and then went out again.  This time i caught a cab which took me down to Miraflores.  i wanted to just wander around the shops, not looking for anything in particular other than a bargain perhaps.  And i found two!  First, i found a pair of gorgeous sandals in  beautiful dark pink or cerise colour.  It is rare to find shoes my size here in Peru because most Peruvians are small.  But, there they were!  My size, the last pair and on sale for just 50 Peruvian Soles (about $18).  i simply couldn’t resist.  i know i am supposed to seek Mistresss Ana’s permission before i buy such things but they might have gone by the time i returned with permission and so i tried them, found they fit and bought them.  You can see them below as well as how well the match the dress i wore today.

The real look of today showing the new shoes

Gorgeous colour plus 4″ heels, ankle strap and no platform

Gorgeous colour plus 4″ heels, ankle strap and no platform

Gorgeous colour plus 4″ heels, ankle strap and no platform

red with black polka dot satin baby doll pyjamas

snake skin pattern satin baby doll pyjamas

But then there was a second bargain!  i wandered into the lingerie department of Falabella (a big department store) and found that they had two-piece satin baby-doll pyjama sets selling for just 30 soles ($10) so i bought two sets, one in red with black dots and the other a sort of snake-skin pattern with white lace trim as you can see.

Satisfied at this, i returned to the office/apartment, eager to try on the pyjamas and shoes.  All fit beautifully and i am so in love with the shoes, i still have them on now as i write, close to the end of the day.  Yes, it is late now, and my business partner has not yet returned but will do soon so i had best either look as if i am already in bed and asleep or change back into male mode.  i think i will go for the former and wear one of my new pyjama sets.  Oh what a wonderful all feminine day i have had.

Oh, one last thing, this evening Lady Dynah was online and we chatted for about an hour.  It was good to have a long chat with Her again, especially on video cam.  She has cut Her hair shorter which suits Her and makes Her look younger in my opinion.  We chatted about my business plans and opportunities perhaps for some of Her friends to invest and then moved on to some of the doubts that She has about the D/s lifestyle and reconciling it with Her strong Christian beliefs.  This is not a new discussion between us and i maintain that as long as both Domme and sub are consenting then each is doing the other a service and so it cannot be a sin.  But is it fornication?  While fornication is considered a sin, then any sexual activity, even within marriage, that is not aimed at procreation would also be a sin and we accept contraception so why should a strong D/s relationship be any different?  Both the Domme and the sub have a need and each satisfies that need in the other so it is a sort of symbiosis, a mutual benefit that does no one any harm and does the individuals a lot of good in satisfying innate physical and emotional needs.  As ever, we parted with Lady Dynah in agreement but then it is Sunday tomorrow and that might just see those doubts return.

No contact today with Goddess Joyce.  i had expected to get a phone call with instructions to go to the farmers market for Her but nothing.  i tried phoning Her but got no response so maybe baby Vincent is arriving or has arrived.  i will call again tomorrow.

Friday November 20th 2009 – thoughts on shaving my beard

This morning i decided to defer my usual depilation, exfoliation and moisturisation day until tomorrow.  When at home, i do this on Tuesdays and Fridays because those are the mornings when my wife is out of the house very early which means i have the bathroom entirely to myself and can go about the process without Her knowing.  In Lima, i prefer to do it on Saturdays and Wednesdays.  Saturdays because it being the weekend means i can take my time over it and Wednesdays simply because i need to do this twice a week to keep on top of things.  i really dislike being hairy and it is so nice to be in Lima and not have to wear my beard.  i dislike shaving also though so there is my dilemma!  i hate my beard but i hate shaving – i can’t win.  i might though.  This morning, i needed to shave my face at least and decided to first give it a try with the No-No.  i was not sure it would work there with the beard being such coarse hair but it seemed to work well.  It didn’t remove all of the hair but i could tell from the continual smell of burning hair that at least some hair was receiving the treatment.  i then shaved normally afterward and had the smoothest finish in a long time.  With luck, using the No-No will discourage regrowth and over time i may reach the point where the beard growth is so weak my wife is happy to allow me to leave it off permanently and the need to shave will not be as frequent either.

i chose to wear a purple satin bra with a cute bow in the centre of the cleavage and a matching purple satin thong under my male clothes today.  Surprisingly, although narrow, the thong actually fits over the CB-2000 chastity device quite well and rarely slides off to leave the cock cage outside of my underwear.   Some of the lace panties i have are wider in that area and might be expected to accommodate the cock cage more easily but they tend to slide off to the side and can become quite uncomfortable.

Today was catch up with people day.  i am more or less on top of work now and so called a few friends to see what might be happening and to tee up meetings for next week to try and win some business.  i was quite relieved that nothing much was happening over the weekend because i desperately want to spend time totally “en femme” and am half expecting to have to run some errands for Goddess Joyce over the weekend.

This evening, once again, as soon as my office staff left and my business partner went out for the evening, i threw off my male clothes and slipped into a short brown pleated mini skirt and pink top that both go well with the shoes Mistress Ana brought me from Thailand.  i put the shoes on and my long red wig and a touch of make up and i was set to relax, cooking myself a nice meal of pan seared salmon and a garden salad, washed down with an Australian shiraz.

Once fed, i curled up in my room with my book which i finished before going to bed for a change rather than falling asleep with it.  i was tired though by this time and so slipped into my pink striped sating PJ’s and went to bed where i drifted off to sleep once again fantasising of how life would be were i collared and enslaved 24/7 to Mistress Ana, permanently “en femme” and ever at Her beck and call; wouldn’t it be wonderful!  Such sweet dreams……………………………

Wednesday November 18th 2009 – Back to the feminine me

How nice to be able to get up in the morning having slept in my pink striped satin pyjamas, then go to the bathroom, remove my beard, depilate using my No-No, exfoliate in a stinging hot shower, towel dry and then moisturise all over with body lotion and then face and hand creams, splash on some perfume and then slip into silver grey satin bra and matching panties and feel oh so very feminine!  Sadly, the downside was that i still had to wear male outer clothes for the day in the office but while at my desk i was at least able to wear my pink, grey and brown sling back heels that Mistress Ana brought me from Thailand.  It was all very busy at work and the day just flew by.  i managed to catch Mistress Ana online for a brief chat which was lovely.  She was up late studying for an exam so i have my fingers crossed for Her.  It seems that Lucy is still very much on Her mind.  Mistress does not want to see his marriage break up and is insisting that he continues to try and reconcile things with his wife.  Mistress will not be seeing him for a while.

i understand entirely where Mistress is coming from and fully support Her in trying to keep Lucy and his wife together.  But the issue sets me to thinking what if…….?  It could be me that is in Lucy’s position if my wife were to find out that i was serving Mistress Ana.  She knows of my cross dressing but turns a blind eye most of the time.  She also knows that i am submissive and i am sure that She knows that i serve others but She does not want to be presented with the evidence so as long as i remain discrete She lets me be.  However, things could always change.  Who knows what straw might just break the donkey’s back?  i dreamed the other night of my wife discovering the CB-2000 chastity device and my embarrassment as i tried to explain about it.  i have in mind an answer but would She accept it?  Who knows?  Every married sub dreams that in such a situation the wife would simply say right, that’s it.  If that is what you want we can start right now……..and the wife take control of Her husband and enslaves him and, in my case, continues with my feminisation.  But would it happen like that?  In Lucy’s case it appears not.  In my case, where i to be discovered once more, would my wife say enough is enough and take control?  i honestly doubt it.  Would She allow me to continue in service to Mistress Ana while remaining married to Her, i doubt that also.  i can only do my best to ensure that the situation never arises.

This evening, once everyone had left the office and my business partner had gone out to dinner, i slipped into a brown crinkle calf length skirt and a pink short sleeved top, pulled on my long red wig, applied a little lipstick and mascara and then went to the kitchen and prepared myself dinner. It felt so good to be fully “en femme” moving about the kitchen, a glass of gin and tonic to one side while i cooked and then to sit down with dinner and a glass of red wine, relaxing and feeling my true self.  i cleared the dishes and washed up before returning to my room where i relaxed further, catching up on some reading and listening to some music albeit with one ear on the apartment door in case my business partner returned early.  i was still feeling tired from my journey and so at 10.00pm, i slipped into my pink striped satin PJ’s, climbed into bed and turned out the light feeling very feminine indeed.

Friday November 13th 2009 – More chores for Mistress Ana

Friday and having done my depilation and exfoliation yesterday, this morning i showered and gave myself the requisite enema before splashing on a touch of perfume and slipping into pale blue lace panties that matched the dress i had decided to take to wear for Mistress Ana today.  First though, i had a plumber to deal with so had to wear my male clothes over the top of the panties.  Fortunately, the plumber arrived more or less on time and so i was able to leave for Mistress’ house by 10.45am and arrived around 11.15.

i was surprised to see a large van parked outside as i arrived and felt a little apprehensive as i climbed the stairs.  However, there was no need for any apprehension on my part, the van belonged to a sales rep for equipment Mistress was purchasing for Her business in Thailand.  i made us coffee and we all three chatted until the rep left.  Mistress then showed me how the dead bolt on Her back door had broken and dispatched me off to the local hardware store to get a replacement which i did and fitted as soon as i returned.  Mistress then had me remake the bed downstairs for Her daughter is arriving this evening.  i made up the bed, secretly wishing that i could be still in service with Mistress when Her daughter arrived for Mistress has told me that Her daughter knows all about me and would dominate me also.  There is something even more poignant about serving Mistress and someone else being present and knowing of it, possibly having me serve them also.  It sort of makes the relationship and my position as slave more public.  While many would think this to be humiliating, to me it is a desirable part of being a slave.  There is much to be gained for me emotionally from being Mistress’ slave but if no one else knows of this or witnesses my servitude, it is diminished somewhat in its impact.  i have wanted to be owned and enslaved for so long, i need confirmation of my position underscored by the relationship being known to and witnessed by others.  Mistress has made it clear that this will happen before too long and so i know that my time will arrive but as i made up the bed for Mistresses daughter, i couldn’t help but dream and wish it was to happen later today.

Only once i had made up the bed was i able to change into the turquoise lace dress and matching medium sized turquoise stiletto heels that i had taken with me to Mistress’ house so that She could get an idea of other aspects of my wardrobe.  i wore no bra with this dress which delighted Mistress, who’s first instinct was to put Her hand inside the top and fondle my breasts, play with and suckle briefly on my nipples.  Ooohhhh, the sensation was electric.  my nipples were still tender from yesterday’s prolonged attention and the touch of Mistress’ fingers and then mouth sent delicious tingles right through my body.  i did not want Her to stop and was instantly aroused and at that moment, i was like putty in Her hands and She could have done anything to me or demanded i do anything for Her.  i have become addicted  to her and intoxicated in my love for and desire to serve Her.

The nipple play was only brief but it set me on fire and i felt very much aroused as i went off to do the ironing that i had been unable to finish yesterday.  Another chore but one that i have no qualms about for to me it is like a prayer or act of worship from me to Her and i do the work gladly and happily.  Once i had finished the ironing, there was time for me just to quickly sweep the floor before i had to take my leave.  The last time i shall see Her for several weeks due to our respective travel schedules.  However, Mistress allowed me a final taste of Her nectar before i departed and gave me instructions as to the chores She expects me to carry out whenever i am in town, even though She Herself might be away.  i drove away feeling sad that i shall not be able to see Her for such a long time but so happy that i am Her slave and that i have such a wonderful Owner to serve and devote my attention to.  Mistress reminded me that the CB-2000 must remain in place, something that others might consider a severe loss of liberty but which to me is a comfort knowing that She has complete control of my sexual function and wants me to remain entirely under Her control, even though i may visit other Dommes such as Goddess Joyce on my travels.  i will be seeing Goddess Joyce and i will most certainly be given chores to do by Her but Goddess Joyce accepts that i now belong to Mistress Ana and am essentially on loan to Her while i am in Peru. Furthermore, the thought that it will now be at least 2 months before i am even remotely likely to be granted another orgasm hardly entered my head in spite of feeling both emotionally and physically aroused by serving Mistress Ana today.  It may in time prove to become a challenge for me to bear but as i write, the memory of the orgasm i had yesterday will take a long time to fade and it was so much more profound than any masturbation that i shall endure my chastity for the reward of another such wonderful experience at the hands of my Mistress, Domme and Owner,

Thursday November 12th 2009 – A surprise visit to Mistress Ana

What a strange but wonderful day!  It began ordinarily enough with me choosing white underwire bra and white cotton panties with a lace trim to wear beneath my male clothes.  i then went to work expecting the arrival of a plumber to fix our sewage recycling system.  As i was alone in the office and with there being no none in the house either, normally i would have dressed fully “en femme” but, because i was expecting the plumber, i was unable to do so.  i did however take the opportunity to run some of my ladies underwear thro ugh a hand wash cycle while awaiting the plumber’s arrival.  In the meantime, my gardener showed up unexpectedly so it was fortunate that i had not dressed “en femme.”  He didn’t stay long because it began to rain.

After he left, i began sorting and collecting a set of clothes to take with me on my travels next week.  Because i will be leaving on Sunday evening, i needed to get my “femme’ things into my suitcase ahead of time because i will not be able to bring them over to the house at the weekend with my wife around.  i would usually have done this on the Friday but with plans to be with Mistress on Friday, i decided to do it today.

That done, i returned to my desk and found Mistress Ana online and so was able to chat.  Her builders had finished and She wanted me to go over and visit Her today.  i explained that i was waiting on the plumber but would be able to come once he had finished.  As we chatted, i phoned the plumber to find out if and when he would arrive.  He decided instead to come tomorrow!  So, i decided that i would go over to Mistress’ house as soon as i had got my washing dry which had to be done in the drier because of the rain.

While my washing dried, i quickly went and got ready for my visit to Mistress Ana.  This meant giving myself an enema, something i do using the lower outlet in the shower and a plastic connection hose for a shower spray with the rose removed.  It enables me to set the water flow to slow and steady and the temperature close to body temperature and to insert the hose while in the shower unit so as not to make a mess.  It also means that if i go too far and overfill myself, i have only to clean the shower afterward.  Also, the toilet is close by and the floor tiled so it is an ideal location for giving myself an enema and flushing out my rear should Mistress decide She needs to rape my ass or that i need such treatment.

As well as the enema, i decided to depilate and exfoliate today instead of tomorrow and so it was smooth, fresh and clean inside and outside that i set off to Mistress’ house soon after midday.  En route, i practiced my oath a couple of times, reciting it in my “femme” voice for practice.  This is about the only time i get to practice my voice other than when i am fully “en femme” in public so whenever i am on the road alone, i switch to my “femme” voice.

i reached Mistress Ana’s house after 40 minutes and noticed that Lucy’s car was outside.  Once i entered, Mistress sent me to change into my maid’s clothes.  Lucy was busy doing some housework.  i was told to hurry dressing because lunch was about to be served and so i changed quickly and did not bother with make up or items of jewelery.  As we ate lunch together, Mistress, Lucy and i, Mistress told me about Lucy’s marriage break up.  A very sad situation for all concerned.  Mistress, to both of our surprise, handed each of us a plastic bag with small packages to be placed under our respective Christmas trees.  This was a lovely surprise and so very much appreciated.

Lucy had to leave to return to work at 2.00pm after which Mistress and i chatted on a little longer before She decided that i should be punished for my errors with the making up of Her son’s bed.  We retired to the bedroom where, before being punished, Mistress had me suckle in Her breasts and worship at Her altar, lavishing attention to Her pussy.  For me, this was of course much better than being punished but the punishment was only postponed briefly for Mistress quickly had me on all fours on Her bed with my ass exposed and then treated to a sound paddling first and the several stokes of the riding crop.  It does hut but not unbearably and after the stinging sensation of the crop, i soon felt that delicious warm glow spread across my ass cheeks.  Mistress intends that i am constantly reminded of Her while i am away from Her and this is one way of doing so, not the the constant presence of the CB-2000 doesn’t already keep Her firmly placed in the centre of my thoughts at all times.

The punishment over, Mistress returned me to my dutiful worship of Her body, both breast were suckled intently as well as her pussy.  But, Mistress also likes to play with my breasts and nipples and i was delighted by Her attention to them as i worshiped Her’s in turn.  Eventually though, Mistress’ attention became focused entirely on my tits and She aggressively suckled and bit on them, kneaded them and pinched them, reveling in my response for Her actions were clearly arousing me.  Mistress persisted, having told me i was not to come and so i stood as passively as i could, desperately trying not to reach an orgasm.  But Mistress is nothing if not persistent and drove me closer and closer to that orgasm until i could no longer resist and was consumed by that deep internal and uncontrollable series of spasms that shook my whole body.  This was the second time that Mistress has brought me to orgasm by just playing with my tits and nipples.  My cock, encased in its CB-2000 cage, enlarged to fill its prison, remained untouched and still flaccid yet my orgasm was deep and profound and far more satisfying than any masturbation i have ever performed myself.

As i came back down to earth i recall saying just how much i adored and loved Mistress Ana, my Owner, and how fortunate i was to belong to Her.  And it is true for even as i write this, memories of the afternoon and of Her flood back and arouse me yet again.  i am Her slave, i have given myself to Her and as such must bend to Her will and strive to please Her at all times and i find great joy and satisfaction in doing that and if my reward is only ever to be used as a sexual instrument of Her pleasure, it is reward enough.  i thrive on the scent and taste of Her nectar and it is indeed intoxicating.  How could i not strive to be the best slave with such nourishment as an incentive?

But it is more than that.  Afterward, Mistress assigned me to a pile of laundry that needed to be ironed.  What a chore, many would think but to me it was a pleasure to be given the task, it is almost in itself a form of worship, adoration and appreciation of Her for in saving Her this task i am pleasing Her.  And so, as i stood in my black patent leather stiletto heeled pumps in white thigh high stay-up stockings, black mini skirt, blouse, white apron and my long red wig, sweating in the afternoon heat and humidity, i had joy in my heart and sang along with the music Mistress was playing.  Yes, by the time i had to leave, my feet ached, my legs ached, my ass was still glowing and my nipples were tender and sore but inside, my heart was light and my sense of self esteem was high for i had given myself entirely to Mistress and had served Her to the best of my ability and been rewarded.  The only sad thought i had as i left was that i was leaving, that my time serving Her was over for the day.  But i drove away looking forward more eagerly than ever to tomorrow when i shall visit and serve Her again.  What a lucky gurl i am!

Friday November 6th 2009 – Frustration while with Mistress Ana and Her builders!

There was no email message from Mistress Ana this morning and so i depilated, exfoliated, showered, moisturised, and perfumed myself and slipped into turquoise lace bra and pale blue lace panties beneath my male clothes and headed off to Mistress’ house.  i arrived there a little late for as i was leaving home, my wife phoned to ask me to drop off Her spectacles at Her workplace, a small diversion but one which nonetheless made me later than i wanted to be.

i arrived at Mistress’ house and was not surprised to find builders on the scene.  Mistress was pleased to see me and to my delight, presented me with a gift from Thailand, a lovely pair of sling back, low heeled, open toed shoes in pink, grey and brown.  i was thrilled to receive them, especially as i have pink, grey and brown clothes that will go well with the shoes.  i am so very lucky to belong to such a thoughtful and caring Mistress.  Mistress also gave me some Thai chocolates and candies and made me feel very special.

As for the builders, they busied themselves around the place while Mistress and i sat and chatted over coffee.  i was not asked to change “en femme” so yesterday’s fantasy was never going to materialise, for which i was grateful although should Mistress have wished to see me so humiliated, i would not have hesitated for even a moment.  As we chatted, i realised that i had made a mistake with the making up of the bed in Mistress’ son’s room downstairs and know that i shall be punished for it.  Fortunately, it was not entirely my fault and Mistress will not be too hard on me for it.  W/we chatted a lot about Her son, who has now moved out, and his girlfriend and a very embarassing experience for Mistress’ garden slave, Lucy, who was busy working in the garden when seen by the son’s girlfriend who called for the police, suspecting Lucy to be a burglar.  This would have been the only burglar in history to rob someone and do their garden at the same time!

Mistress told me of the reaction of both Her daughter in law and also Her own daughter, both of whom are aware of the fact that Mistress has slaves who do chores for Her, Lucy in the garden and me in the house.  The daughter in law it seems has asked that i go and clean Her house and Mistress’ daughter would be delighted to have me crawl on all fours to worship Her feet.  Both are young, attractive women whom i would consider it an honour to serve should Mistress Ana require me to do so.  i belong to Her first and foremost and i truly adore Her and could only ever serve others at Her request or command.  i feel so fortunate to belong to Her and to be in service to such a wonderful Domme after searching so far and wide over many years, that i am devoted to Her service first and foremost and above all else.

W/we also chatted about travel and about Mistress’ desire to visit Peru on vacation with Her daughter, possibly next year.  This idea has got me very excited for it would be an opportunity for me to be clean shaven and “en femme” serving Mistress 24/7 for the duration of the vacation.  my mind is now racing with the possibilities of being their sissy tour guide for 2 or 3 weeks in Peru.  i know that i would be in heaven and i pray that it will actually come to pass.  i dream of going with Mistress Ana and daughter to the salon where i go with Goddess Joyce to get a pedicure and manicure together as well as going shopping together and doing all of the touristy things.  This whole concept will now occupy my mind and i shall dream and plan the whole vacation until it does become reality.

With the builders still busy around the house, Mistress and i went out for lunch and also did a little grocery shopping.  i felt a little frustrated at not being able to dress “en femme” today, it being one of the days of the week when i would normally spend the full day at work fully dressed with blouse, skirt, wig and jewellery but there was no resentment for i was spending time with my Mistress and Owner.  However, after lunch, with the builders still at the house, i had to take my leave having been unable to serve Mistress personally and as i drove away i felt incredibly horny.  i had so needed to serve Her that by the time i got home, i ached inside.  A genuine ache of real need such that time cannot go quickly enough for me between now and Tuesday when i return to serve Her.

Friday October 30th 2009 – Disaster with chastity

i have no idea how it could have happened but it has.  During the night, i recall  feeling a dull ache in my genitals and, half asleep, moving my hand down to the cock cage and pulling it gently until it felt right, at the same time becoming more awake as the ache became a severe pain in my left testicle.  Further feeling around there under the cover of the bedclothes reassured me that the CB-2000 was still securely in place even thought it did not feel quite right.  i awoke this morning knowing something was amiss and, on getting to the bathroom, discovered that my left testicle had escaped the CB-2000.  i tried to get it back in without removing the cock cage but to no avail.  How on earth it got out, i have no idea but escape it did.

i was now faced with a dilemma. i could leave things as they were which would require explanation sooner or later to Mistress Ana and be decidedly uncomfortable in the meantime, or remove and then replace the cock cage using another seal, which would also require explanation and, i am sure, result in some form of punishment.  In fact, i was certain that i would be punished no matter what but decided it would be better to be truthful whether or not Mistress Ana believed my explanation.  The thought then occurred to me that i might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb and take the opportunity to masturbate.  Believe it or not though, i have never felt less like masturbating!  i was more preoccupied with how on earth the testicle could have got through the narrow confining gap in the CB-2000 rings and the consequences of it having done so to think about masturbating.  Furthermore, the horniness that develops while wearing the device is as much a psychological or emotional need as it is a physical need and i felt that i wanted to orgasm only when told to do so by Mistress Ana.  To cheat would be cheating myself as much as it would Her for the ultimate orgasm is one that is emotionally shared and not a furtive secret masturbation.

So, i removed the cock cage before getting in the shower and my Friday morning depilation, exfoliation and moisturisation ritual.  It gave me the chance to shave again my genitals and thoroughly clean that area.  After this, i replaced the chastity device using seal number CW8YD.  A splash of perfume later, i slipped into matching pink lace bra and panties, a white blouse, pink calf length skirt, long red wig and pink stiletto heeled sandals.  Before starting work, i gathered up my weeks laundry and put it through the washing machine.  Today was beautifully sunny and warm and i knew i could get all my washing done and dry before my wife returned home.  i spent the full working day in my office then completely “en femme.”  It may be surprising for some to know that such days when i am dressed “en femme” are some of my most productive and today was no exception.  i think this stems from simply being so comfortable and at home dressed as a woman that i am less distracted whereas days when i am only able to wear feminine underwear beneath my male outer clothes and ladies shoes while at my desk, i am much more conscious of my situation and on guard, so less focused on work.

Nothing else much to report on today.  No chats with anyone.  However, i did come across a wig for sale that i love.  Though i regularly wear my long red wig, i would love to have a shorter style that is perhaps more in keeping with my age and i just adore this one, a bargain at just $55.

i also discovered Christian Laboutin shoes – so many gorgeous heels on view i was drooling, and an article on “How high does one go with one’s heels? “ Such interesting reading that i not only voted on the 5″ or higher but also decided to provide the link.  The final thing was my Gravatar.  i have been creating virtual looks for myself on a virtual shopping site and decided that i could link some of the looks i have created there for myself to my Gravatar within my blog.  i am still not sure how effective it will be but i have a lot of fun virtually trying on different clothes for different activities.  It can’t equal the real thing but it is the next best thing for a would be gurl!