Tuesday December 22nd to Saturday December 26th 2009 – A Happy Christmas

Hectic is the only way to describe my day.  So much to do and so little time and with my wife now at home for school holidays, no chance this morning to do my regular depilation, exfoliation, moisturisation and general pampering of myself.  Time enough only to pull on a pair of pink lace panties and a matching bra beneath my male outer clothes.  With meetings in the city in the afternoon and much to work on in the office in the morning my day was full and then we had the office Christmas party in the evening.

On Wednesday though, i was up and out of bed before 5.00am and busy in the office finishing a little work but also putting my things together to go to Mistress Ana’s house and do Her cleaning.  i needed to get everything together in advance of others arriving to work and did so comfortably.  i also set up a number of jobs for my staff to get on with while i was out of the office, which was all day.  i left the office at 8.45am having delegated jobs and responsibilities and arrived at Mistress Ana’s just before 9.30am.  i had taken my dirty lingerie and a dress that also needed washing and put those into the washing machine the moment i arrived.  As i passed the downstairs bedroom, being used at the moment by Mistress Ana’s son and daughter in law, i noticed that the bed had been made but had since been lounged upon and so was untidy.  i could not resist going in and straightening it.

In the laundry, i noticed shoes that must belong to Mistress’ daughter in law.  i stopped briefly to admire two pairs of heels, thinking what good taste their owner had and wishing they had been my size for i admit that i liked them so much i doubt i could have resisted trying them on had they been anywhere near big enough!  i was surprised though, once in the laundry, to discover a small dog outside, whining at the door and wanting to get in and it yapped for a while once i had left and gone upstairs and changed into white lace bra and matching thong, white thigh high stockings, black patent leather stiletto heels, black mini skirt and black blouse, white apron and my long red wig.  For good measure, i added some lipstick and then set about my chores.

All of the curtains were drawn so i opened them up so as to get a good look at what might need doing and decided first that i would dust and wipe down all of the surfaces.  i worked systematically from Mistress’ en-suite bathroom, Her bedroom, then office and additional toilet before doing the kitchen and lounge followed by the staircase.  While doing so, i noticed that the bedroom and office windows really needed to be cleaned so i did them both inside and out.  While i was on the balcony outside the bedroom and office, i became conscious of a man from over the road being out in the front of his house doing some work in the garden.  i wondered what he was thinking for he must have noticed a mini-skirted maid busy on the balcony and i also wondered if he had noticed that i was bearded! These thoughts did not phase me though and i just worked on as quickly and as efficiently as i could.

Part way through cleaning the windows, i realised that my laundry would have finished washing so went back downstairs to hang it out to dry.  i kept the dog from gaining entry but did pat it and make friends with it before taking in washing on the line that had dried and hanging out my own.  Once i had done the windows and dusted and wiped all the surfaces i vaccuumed the carpets and swept the floors.  i wanted also to clean the tiled floors but was running out of time, having a business meeting scheduled for 1.30pm, so i quickly mopped over the worst areas so at least the floors looked reasonable – not as good as i would have wanted them to look but at least better than they were.

i so wished that i had had more time to have been able to clean the house more thoroughly and all the time i was cleaning there, knowing that Mistress’ daughter in law was living there, i was very conscious of the fact that in a way, i was essentially setting a standard by which someone else, other than Mistress, was going to judge my work.  Just as when Mistress’ youngest son was living there, i knew that he would see the results of my efforts, so too would Mistress’ daughter in law and i felt that she, being a woman, would be a far more severe judge of my efforts and i so wanted my work to be good enough to satisfy her for in a way, my performance reflected the control, influence and training i have received from Mistress Ana and for me to underperform would in a way reflect upon Her and any adverse criticism was the last thing i wanted.  Only time will tell whether i succeeded in my efforts to please all concerned.

Another strange feeling i had while working away at Mistress’ house was whether or not i might encounter either Her son or daughter in law in person.  i have said before that discovery, while humiliating, is something that i almost wish for because in my heart of hearts, i want people to know that i am a slave and belong to Mistress for in my opinion it could only add to Mistress’ already high esteem no matter what effect or how humiliating it might be for me and, as Her slave, the better i am in my work so too the greater the esteem reflects upon my Owner.  i do know of course that the true depth of my relationship with Mistress Ana has not been revealed to Her family and so would never do anything to change that but there is a certain part of me that truly wishes that it become general knowledge that i am owned by, belong to, am the slave of and gladly serve Mistress Ana, and that this is as much a function of my need to be known to be submissive as it is to raise the status of and aura that surrounds my Owner, Mistress Ana.

Christmas Eve was of course like a mad house.  i tried hard to complete outstanding work and send out new quotations and proposals for more work but didn’t quite get everything finished.  my children and grandchildren began arriving mid day but i had also to spend most of the morning running errands for my Wife – shopping for last minute things for dinner, lunch etc. as well as a couple of extra stocking fillers for my Wife.  The afternoon and evening was spent with family and we all enjoyed a lovely Christmas Eve dinner of roast turkey with all of the trimmings.

Christmas Day began with early Mass at the local church followed by our traditional full breakfast outside by the swimming pool, cooked by myself on the barbeque and washed down with champagne.  We then spent a delightful morning exchanging gifts with most eyes of course on my grandson of 15 months.  By early afternoon all guests had gone and my Wife and i were left to our own devices – time to check out my own gifts and quietly relax and recover from the hectic last few days.  On the excuse of needing to download pictures from my camera, i was able to get over to my office late in the afternoon where i opened the gifts given to me by Mistress Ana.  She gave me a lovely “baby love” pamper pack and some chocolates making me feel very feminine and much loved.  i do have a gift for Mistress of course but She will not be able to receive it until we meet up again.

Boxing Day is a big sports day in Australia and also a major shopping day in the sales.  The female in me would have loved to go shopping but not in the mad crazy rush of the sales so it was a quiet day watching sport on TV and entertaining occasional visitors.  Both yesterday and today i wore the same pink lace bra beneath my male clothes with pink lace panties to match.  No real opportunities to go online but i did find out why “My Virtual Model” is not working – they are re-vamping the site and it will be back on line on January 4th.  By then i will be in England and staying with my mother in law.  Not much chance to be femme in that environment and it will be difficult enough to wear even panties beneath my male clothes to say nothing of keeping the CB-2000 chastity device secret.  However, i am almost at the point where i would like it to be discovered by my wife.  It would take some explaining but i have an idea of the approach i will take as and when it happens and somehow i want Her to know that deep inside i need such control on my sexual function and also need to express my feminine side.  She need not know about Mistress Ana but it would open up an opportunity for Her to take advantage of the situation and take control, something i have longed for all of our married life.  However, i seriously doubt that She would change Her approach to me and my ways but it would take away the need for me to be so secretive about wearing female lingerie and of course the chastity device if She would only accept that it is something i need to do.

Thursday December 10th 2009 – Mistress Ana has plans for me!

A frustrating start to the day!  i dressed quickly in sliver grey satin bra and matching thong, both with cute little bows, then put on my male outer clothes and sat down to go to “My Virtual Model” to choose my “Look” for the day.  Unfortunately, i was unable to access the site but got a message saying a server was down.  Frustrating!  Especially as i had no idea whether it was their server or some other server somewhere between me and them!

i was soon to find out though because Mistress Ana came on line and commented that She could not see “Today’s Look” on my blog either so with Her in Thailand and me in Peru, it would have to be the  “My Virtual Model” server that is down.

It was terrific chatting to Mistress Ana although She left me feeling incredibly horny and also somewhat overwhelmed by the designs and plans She had in mind.  We chatted for well over an hour in which time She told me She might arrange for me to be a $5 slut again!  That was exciting enough but then after discussing the pendant which i now have in its finished form, we went on to chat about some bondage gear that has come up for sale in our home town and which items Mistress would like.  The lady selling the gear now runs a facility for sissies in which they can go and get dressed and relax, go out shopping, get training and so on.  One of Mistress’ ideas is for me to go there and get some education!  Also something that interests and excites me.  However, we then moved on to discussing the various equipment She wants, the suspension apparatus may be too big but the rack Mistress believes She can handle.  She would also like a cage and we talked about where in Her house all of this might go and decided it would fit in a small store room on the side of Her garage that could soon become my cell!

Further toys of Mistress’ pleasure included sounds and electrical zings with remote controls that /she could apply to me in public situations like on an aeroplane!  This is where Mistress most definitely took off and took me with Her.  She had me travelling with Her “en femme” in a mini skirt, no panties but with butt plug and ball ring with weights attached just long enough to show beneath the skirt, the ring also attached to my nipples and me trying to walk so hampered but also with huge high heels!  Like so all the way from Australia to Germany where we go to the Octoberfest and i end up as a serving wench in a bar full of drunken men.  We then go to O.W.K. where i will be Her maid but also have to undergo all sorts of additional training and humiliations.

By now, i was feeling extremely uncomfortable, not from the scenarios Mistress was describing but from the turn on it was giving me!  My cock was as large as it has ever been since i put on the chastity device!  But it did not stop there!  i had sent Mistress an article about a “pussy collar” and so we then went on to discuss how She would have me locked in such a position between Her legs while She slept!  And with vibrating butt plug on variable random speed settings and a tens unit to keep me awake!

By now i was bursting with excitement and a cock that was pressing on the sides of the CB-2000, my mind racing at the enormity of Mistress’ plans and already starting to work on how to bring them to fruition.  i truly adore Her and all of Her schemes and am such a slut that i desperately want to be a part of them!

So, i have tasks to do.  One to continue liaising on the bondage gear Mistress wishes to buy, then to begin work on clearing the store room that will become my cell, also to find a cage, a St.Andrews Cross, a tens unit and a vibrating butt plug – both of these with a remote control, and finally to find a way for us to have the time together for Her to do all the things to me that she is dreaming of at the moment.  All enjoyable chores leading to my own torture and humiliation………………………

After that, one would think there was nothing left much to add about my day but i did get to dress fully “en femme” during the evening.  This felt good as always but in my horny state, was just further torture – sweet torture!

Saturday December 5th 2009 – the fire burning within

A luscious lazy start to the weekend, lingering in bed in my satin PJ’s contemplating my situation and thinking of Mistress Ana and Her control of me and my sexual function.  This of course added to my state of arousal and frustration but yet i am not about to break the seal on the CB-2000 nor resort to trying to find a way to reach an orgasm with the chastity device in place.  However, as i lay in bed, half dozing, i set to thinking about the significance of having surrendered control of my sexual function to another person, specifically to Mistress Ana.  If i was not locked into a chastity device it would be easy to masturbate and obtain relief but would it bring any satisfaction?  i began to reflect along the theme that masturbation is a weak attempt at self satisfaction and shows a lack of self control.  Having said that, i know myself well enough to know that without the cock cage in place, i would not have the will power or self control to stop myself from regular masturbation.  i have also experienced that deep and profound orgasm that comes from being manipulated by another, an orgasm that far supercedes the climax brought on by masturbation.  It is that very loss of control and being manipulated by another that renders the climax so much more powerful and so with that thought in my mind, i began to feel secure and safe in CB-2000 and happy to have surrendered myself and my sexual function to Mistress Ana.

i eventually got out of bed and dressed fully “en femme” straight away for my business associate had left early for a family function.  So it was with some joy that i got out of bed and put on a pink lace bra and matching pink mesh and lace panties, a short brown pleated mini-skirt, a pink cross-over top, my long red wig, and the low heeled pink and grey sling back shoes given to me by Mistress Ana.  Next, i took myself to the laundry and hand washed all my dirty underwear, all two weeks of it.  i had not had chance to do so last weekend because i was out in the mountains so today’s washing was a bigger job than usual.  Nevertheless, i quite enjoyed doing my feminine chores, hanging them out to dry on the line in full view of neighbours, not caring if i was seen, indeed half hoping i would be.

Once the washing was out on the line, i went to my desk and caught up with some correspondence and some accounts while listening to music.  i can’t describe how good it felt to be able to be true to my inner feminine self, moving around the apartment “en femme” with total freedom and then in the early afternoon, slipping out to the supermarket, not really to buy anything in particular but just to get outside and stretch my legs.  The cool breeze felt delicious on my bare legs and i couldn’t resist taking my time and walking around another block to call at a chemist to buy some more Domperidone.  i am gradually building up a large supply of the drug so that when the time is right, i can make a prolonged and concerted effort at initiating lactation in my breasts.  i walked around for about an hour and then returned to the apartment and made myself a meal.  i had washed the dishes and then brought in my underwear from the washing line and had begun to change back into male outer clothes to go and visit vanilla friends who had invited me for dinner when my associate returned from his family event.  i was really only just in time, having got my panties and bras off the line only 15 minutes or so before he returned!

The evening was very enjoyable, purely vanilla but good conversation, company and food and it was midnight before i returned to my shared apartment and slipped back into my satin PJ’s and drifted off to sleep contemplating once again my good fortune firstly in having been able to go out “en femme” today and secondly at belonging to Mistress Ana, wondering and fantasising on being with Her “en femme” 24/7, adding more fuel to the emotional and physical arousal burning within me!

Friday December 4th 2009 – Coping with sexual arousal and frustration while locked in chastity

This morning, i chose silver grey satin matching bra and thong to wear beneath my male outer clothes.  No lace today but cute little silver bows, one in the centre of the bra and the other in the front centre of the thong.  i love the sensual feel of satin against my skin and am really enjoying sleeping on the satin PJ’s i bought last week, so much so in fact that i am always reluctant to take them off in a morning, preferring to lie in bed as late as i dare and playing with my nipples through the cool, soft material.  Not that playing with my nipples in such a way is good for me. Quite the contrary, it increases my already aroused state and adds to my frustration at being unable to have an orgasm due to being locked in chastity.  Right now, i am feeling extremely aroused both physically and emotionally but the CB-2000 cock cage and chastity device is keeping me from gaining any sort of release or pleasure.  It keeps me in a constant state of arousal and awareness of my position and status as Mistress Ana’s sissy slave and keeps Mistress Herself in the forefront of my mind even though at the moment we are on opposite sides of the world.

As previous entries in this blog have demonstrated, there is no way i can bring myself to an orgasm without removing the CB-2000, something that would not only be a complete betrayal on my part of the trust Mistress places in me but it would also show failure and unworthiness which, at best would result in severe punishment from Mistress but at worst, could mean dismissal from Her service, something that i dare not even contemplate. i adore Her and love serving Her so much that to be dismissed would be more painful than the most severe beating She might ever inflict upon me.  And so, i carry the growing frustration with me along with the constant reminder of being entirely under the control of my Owner, Mistress Ana.

In idle moments during the day, this frustration returns so i try to keep busy.  If i am ever not busy, my distraction is always thoughts of Mistress and the longing for being back with Her and the relief that only She can give me.  Mistress Ana is acutely aware of the sensitive nature of my nipples and that they are almost hard wired to my cock and She has become skilled at driving me to orgasm by playing with them, teasing them, pinching them, sucking and biting on them with increasing intensity until and beyond the moment when my whole being is rocked by a climax that bursts out from deep within me.  These orgasms surpass any that i have ever experienced in masturbation and the memory of them and the hope for another on my return to Her is enough to help me through the times like now when my sexual frustration rises to a peak.

Saturday November 28th 2009 – Monday November 30th 2009 – frumpy knickers for comfort

Well, here we are on Monday as promised, the weekend over and survived.  Survived being the operative word.  At 4.00am on Saturday morning, the last thing i wanted to hear was my alarm but hear it i did and with very heavy eyelids, crawled out of bed, discarded my satin snakeskin pattern Pj’s for a basic white T-shirt bra and white cotton knickers rather than panties and then my male field clothes on top.  i had no sooner got into my field boots when the door bell rang, my taxi had arrived.  i chose the simple but decidedly unsexy white cotton knickers for comfort.  Experience previously of wearing sexy thongs or panties when out in the field and having to ride on horseback has taught me to keep to the simple and comfortable when in the field, especially with the CB-2000 in place.  The cotton knickers did have a front lace panel so it wasn’t all so mundane!

As for my health, i slept most of the 1 hour 20 minute flight and by the time i arrived at Cusco i felt almost human but still not 100%.  i was not looking forward to getting up high but had no choice in the matter.  i collected the hire vehicle and, along with my local prospecting partner, drove up from Cusco to our potential prospects where, to my discomfort found we had quite a climb to get from the road up to the mine workings we were to evaluate.  This is where i knew i would struggle.  i am not usually bad at altitude, a little slower than those who live there but i do not normally suffer headaches, nausea or fainting and dizziness.  Having been suffering from nausea for a couple of days, i was apprehensive about heading up the side of a mountain at over 4,000m altitude but nevertheless, i set off.  i was slower than usual but not too slow.  It began to rain heavily before we reached the mine workings where we sheltered for a while until the rain eased and finally stopped.  i was glad of the shelter and time to sit awhile and catch my breath.  At times on the way up, i had had to stop and let my head clear for i did go dizzy now and then.  No headache though, i am glad to say and, after checking over the workings and finding lots of coarse grained gold in the rock, i felt much happier on the way down.  The rain had stopped, the sun shone and going down was just so much less effort!

Once back at the car, we began the drive back to Paucartambo only to have the vehicle break down on the way.  We managed to crawl into a small village where we left the 4WD hire car and took a bus into Paucartambo, where we sent the night.  A small regional centre, Paucartambo has no real hotels just guest houses or hostals, none of which are particularly attractive and in the end, we had little choice, only one was prepared to offer us a room.  There was no water so a shower was out of the question (it would have been cold even had there been water!). We were able though to phone the car hire company in Cusco who were superb and sent a replacement vehicle out to us straight away.  Mind you, it was after midnight by the time they had driven the 3 hours from Cusco by which time i was exhausted and sound asleep.  Fortunately, i was able to delegate responsibility for dealing with the car hire people to my prospector associate.

It rained very heavily overnight and the following morning, as we drove out to our second set of workings to visit, the roads were treacherous.  Imagine driving narrow dirt mountain roads with drops of several hundreds of metres down to ravines when the weather is good and the roads dry.  It can be scary enough, especially when meeting a large truck coming in the other direction with no passing places!  Now think of it when the roads are just wet mud and the slightest touch on the brakes sends you into an uncontrollable skid.  Add to that, a driver locked into a chastity device that has got his scrotum pinched in a couple of places and he is unable to do anything about it as he drives along and you have a reasonable picture of Your’s truly behind the wheel.

Once again, we had a lengthy walk and climb to get to the workings and true to form, it was raining quite steadily as i stopped the car.  But on this occasion, by dint of a painfully pinched scrotum, i was quickly out of the car and walking off up the mountainside if only to try and get to a position where i could get my hand inside my knickers, the same ones as i had worn yesterday, and discretely adjust the CB-2000’s position.  i am happy to say that i managed to do just that and, as with the day before, i struggled up the mountainside to the workings where once again, we found significant coarse grained gold and were able to hold an impromptu meeting with the claim owners and negotiate a good deal for all.  So, once again, our descent was a happy one.

Our journey back to Cusco was difficult and in continuing rain and treacherous road conditions.  Several stretches of mud made driving the mountain roads very dangerous.  At one point, on a series of bends on the side of a mountain, i braked well in advance of the next bend only to feel the car sliding inexorably on towards the bend with no traction or sign of turning the corner.  My associate woke from dozing and was convinced we were going over the edge.  He thought i was crazy when i took my foot off the brake and let the engine try to slow us but it was the only way, the wheels had to find traction or we were finished and when they found traction they had to pull us round the bend.  i could see a low grassy bank at the edge of the drop and was gambling on the wheels finding some grip there and so they did.  As soon as the front wheels found the slightly firmer ground, the bit and the rear of the car swung quickly around and we were suddenly parallel to the drop and pulling away around the bend.  i still can’t believe how calm i was through the whole episode.  i did not panic but just followed instinct in trying to get the car around the bend.  We came very close to disaster but yet i never felt scared and remained calm, something which impressed my prospector partner.  Having said that, there must have been a lot of luck involved too – i might have used up another of my lives!

Overnight in my usual hotel in Cusco was luxury.  So nice to be able to soak in a hot bath and then rinse off in a stinging hot shower.  After that, my appetite, which had deserted me these last few days, returned with a vengeance.  So, in clean fresh but still white cotton knickers and a clean white lace bra, i went to my favourite little trattoria and tucked into a medium sized Calzone of the house, washed down with a Chilean red wine.  After struggling through the weekend, i was beginning to feel more like my old self.

i chatted at length with the lady who owns and manages the trattoria.  Over the last couple of years we have got to know each other quite well. i was astounded though when Her 3 daughters appeared after having been dining in another room with father.  It had been the youngest’s first Holy Communion earlier in the evening so they had been celebrating.  All 3 girls were attractive looking girls in their own right but my astonishment was at how mature and stunningly sexy the eldest daughter appeared.  Very much like her mother in looks but did she ever carry herself well.  She not only looked stunning but she moved in such a way as to be enticingly seductive and, i am sure that she was well aware of the effect she had on male onlookers.

Today, Monday, was another early start for an early morning flight and after thinking last night that i was well over whatever bug had ailed me, i was not so sure at 5.00am this morning.  However, it was most probably just the early rising and relative lack of sleep for having slept again on the plane, by the time i reached Lima i felt Ok.  Back in the office though, there was a mountain of email’s to work through as well as accounts to be brought up to date and so little time for chatting online.  i tried to catch up with Goddess Joyce on the phone but to no avail so i have no idea whether or not little Vincent has made his appearance.  i did get to chat with Mistress Ana, albeit briefly, but it was good to be back in touch with Her again and to make plans as to how i can get to Thailand either with or without my wife and how we might manage to have me serve Her while my wife was distracted on other things that Mistress had planned.  All food for thought and something for me to work towards for next September/October.

Wednesday November 25th 2009 – My birthday – In the pink!

Yes, my birthday!  Not that at my age it is anything particularly special but special enough for me to linger a little longer in bed this morning, teasing my nipples through the satin of my PJ’s and fantasising of what might have been had i been born in a woman’s body.  All quite arousing both phyisically and emotionally but not good for a gurl in chastity!  So, i did not linger too long but got up and shaved, showered and moisturised.  i treated myself to my twice weekly depilation, exfoliation and moisturisation and when i had done, added an extra splash of perfume before slipping into a lovely matching pink lace and mesh bra and thong set which i really love.  It had to be pink today of all days!  What a pity i had to be at work and so had to put on ugly male clothes over the top!  i wore the pink, grey and brown shoes that Mistress Ana brought me from Thailand which was appropriate because as soon as i got to my desk this morning She was online and we were able to chat briefly.  She was very tired and had had to delay Her departure for Thailand because the equipment She was taking proved too big for checked in baggage and had to be sent by courier.  As a result She was only wait-listed on the next flight so i am hoping all went well and that She has arrived safely.

We did discuss Mistress’ ideas for a forthcoming lunch She will throw for D/s friends and associates and She will want myself and Her other slave, Paul to be there to serve in all meanings of the word and She did intimate that it would be a cock and pussy feast!  i know that will mean giving oral service to Mistress and/or Her guests and it is something i have long fantasised about.  i have said before on these pages that being a slave in a situation that is entirely private is fine but there is something special when one’s servitude and devotion to an Owner is demonstrated publicly in this way.  Many would consider it to be humiliating and degrading but in essence it is quite the opposite for it shows strength of character and devotion to another that speaks volumes more than the average expression of devotion in a vanilla relationship.  When the time comes, i shall serve to the best of my ability in whatever manner Mistress requires for i consider myself to be an extension of Her body and will, an instrument for Her pleasure and am proud to be chosen for whatever purpose She considers me suitable.

Mistress and i also have been discussing a new local Chapter of an ClubFEM, an international organisation for Dominant Females and submissive males.  The FEM stands for “Females Enslaving Males.”  They plan to have social gatherings, both vanilla and fetish, and this will be another forum where i shall hope to be able to make public my servitude and position as slave belonging to Mistress Ana.  The Club has a silver pendant and Mistress has asked me to see if i can get a gold version made for Her while i am away,   a task that i shall carry out with pleasure.

TheClubFEM silver pendant

The rest of my day was like any other day at work and with so much going on at the moment as i try to generate business, quite hectic.  i worked into the evening even though it was my birthday.  i had planned on dressing fully “en femme” and venturing to a bar for a drink but it became impossible when my associate decided that he was not going anywhere this evening.  i could have gone out in male mode but saw nothing special in that so decided to just work on and listen to music while i did so, holed up in my room with the door locked where at least i could slip into a dress and wig, be my feminine self and catch up on some useful document preparations.

Friday November 20th 2009 – thoughts on shaving my beard

This morning i decided to defer my usual depilation, exfoliation and moisturisation day until tomorrow.  When at home, i do this on Tuesdays and Fridays because those are the mornings when my wife is out of the house very early which means i have the bathroom entirely to myself and can go about the process without Her knowing.  In Lima, i prefer to do it on Saturdays and Wednesdays.  Saturdays because it being the weekend means i can take my time over it and Wednesdays simply because i need to do this twice a week to keep on top of things.  i really dislike being hairy and it is so nice to be in Lima and not have to wear my beard.  i dislike shaving also though so there is my dilemma!  i hate my beard but i hate shaving – i can’t win.  i might though.  This morning, i needed to shave my face at least and decided to first give it a try with the No-No.  i was not sure it would work there with the beard being such coarse hair but it seemed to work well.  It didn’t remove all of the hair but i could tell from the continual smell of burning hair that at least some hair was receiving the treatment.  i then shaved normally afterward and had the smoothest finish in a long time.  With luck, using the No-No will discourage regrowth and over time i may reach the point where the beard growth is so weak my wife is happy to allow me to leave it off permanently and the need to shave will not be as frequent either.

i chose to wear a purple satin bra with a cute bow in the centre of the cleavage and a matching purple satin thong under my male clothes today.  Surprisingly, although narrow, the thong actually fits over the CB-2000 chastity device quite well and rarely slides off to leave the cock cage outside of my underwear.   Some of the lace panties i have are wider in that area and might be expected to accommodate the cock cage more easily but they tend to slide off to the side and can become quite uncomfortable.

Today was catch up with people day.  i am more or less on top of work now and so called a few friends to see what might be happening and to tee up meetings for next week to try and win some business.  i was quite relieved that nothing much was happening over the weekend because i desperately want to spend time totally “en femme” and am half expecting to have to run some errands for Goddess Joyce over the weekend.

This evening, once again, as soon as my office staff left and my business partner went out for the evening, i threw off my male clothes and slipped into a short brown pleated mini skirt and pink top that both go well with the shoes Mistress Ana brought me from Thailand.  i put the shoes on and my long red wig and a touch of make up and i was set to relax, cooking myself a nice meal of pan seared salmon and a garden salad, washed down with an Australian shiraz.

Once fed, i curled up in my room with my book which i finished before going to bed for a change rather than falling asleep with it.  i was tired though by this time and so slipped into my pink striped sating PJ’s and went to bed where i drifted off to sleep once again fantasising of how life would be were i collared and enslaved 24/7 to Mistress Ana, permanently “en femme” and ever at Her beck and call; wouldn’t it be wonderful!  Such sweet dreams……………………………

Thursday November 19th 2009 – Virtually dressed and in love with shoes

That feminine feeling lasted through the night and i woke this morning feeling very sexy in my pink satin PJ’s and also very horny.  i knew of course that while being sexually aroused felt good, it was not going to lead to anything.  My cock pressed against the CB-2000 cock cage chastity device reminded me of that.  It was not a painful or uncomfortable pressing for i cannot get really hard but it was enough pressure to feel good and to remind me that that was as good as it was going to get.  i lay on my back in bed, luxuriating for a moment in my feminine nightwear and couldn’t resist running my hands up over my breasts and feeling the cool sating against my nipples.  This of course increased my arousal and had me thinking of Mistress Ana and imagining, as i lay there with my eyes closed, that they were Her fingers toying with my nipples.  It was not the same though and, knowing that this was only going to lead to frustration, i quickly got out of bed and headed for the shower.

Choosing clothes to wear from my limited travel wardrobe was quite easy for i still have to wear my male outer clothes over my feminine underwear on work days.  However, this morning, before dressing myself, i went online to “My Virtual Model” and dressed virtually in clothes that i might choose for a day in the office.  This is fun and as close to the real thing as i can get.  The website offers an extensive wardrobe, far bigger than i could ever afford, so i can try on a range of things and have something new every day.  i have of course been using this site for a while and linking my looks created there to my gravatar here, but it was such fun this morning deciding what to wear as if it were real that i think i shall try to do it every day, time permitting.  That finished, i chose the same silver grey satin bra as yesterday but clean silver grey lace panties to go with it under my male clothes.

Work was work and i was busy all day but did find some time to check out some of my favourite websites like “A girl’s guide to shoes.” i love the choices of shoes that Stacy shows on this site and today was no exception and i fell in love with the pairs shown below.  Oh that i could just go out and buy such shoes!  i just love anything with an ankle strap and high stiletto heels.  The higher the heel the better and preferably with no platform, hidden or otherwise!

Gorgeous colour and with ankle strap AND bow!

Classic pump with peeptoe and a very feminine bow

No opportunities to chat with Mistress Ana today so i am wondering how She went with Her exam.  my fingers are still crossed!  i did speak to Goddess Joyce on the phone though.  Baby Vincent has still not arrived and it may be that he will arrive on the same day as m birthday, November 25th!  Goddess has invited me to join them for Thanksgiving, provided of course baby Vincent doesn’t interfere with the plans, so i shall look forward to that.  No doubt too, Goddess will have some errands for me to run or some chores in the meantime.

This evening, i had a late business meeting in the office with my partners and so there was no opportunity to dress fully “en femme” apart from at bedtime when i slipped back into my pink striped satin PJ’s once more.

Wednesday November 18th 2009 – Back to the feminine me

How nice to be able to get up in the morning having slept in my pink striped satin pyjamas, then go to the bathroom, remove my beard, depilate using my No-No, exfoliate in a stinging hot shower, towel dry and then moisturise all over with body lotion and then face and hand creams, splash on some perfume and then slip into silver grey satin bra and matching panties and feel oh so very feminine!  Sadly, the downside was that i still had to wear male outer clothes for the day in the office but while at my desk i was at least able to wear my pink, grey and brown sling back heels that Mistress Ana brought me from Thailand.  It was all very busy at work and the day just flew by.  i managed to catch Mistress Ana online for a brief chat which was lovely.  She was up late studying for an exam so i have my fingers crossed for Her.  It seems that Lucy is still very much on Her mind.  Mistress does not want to see his marriage break up and is insisting that he continues to try and reconcile things with his wife.  Mistress will not be seeing him for a while.

i understand entirely where Mistress is coming from and fully support Her in trying to keep Lucy and his wife together.  But the issue sets me to thinking what if…….?  It could be me that is in Lucy’s position if my wife were to find out that i was serving Mistress Ana.  She knows of my cross dressing but turns a blind eye most of the time.  She also knows that i am submissive and i am sure that She knows that i serve others but She does not want to be presented with the evidence so as long as i remain discrete She lets me be.  However, things could always change.  Who knows what straw might just break the donkey’s back?  i dreamed the other night of my wife discovering the CB-2000 chastity device and my embarrassment as i tried to explain about it.  i have in mind an answer but would She accept it?  Who knows?  Every married sub dreams that in such a situation the wife would simply say right, that’s it.  If that is what you want we can start right now……..and the wife take control of Her husband and enslaves him and, in my case, continues with my feminisation.  But would it happen like that?  In Lucy’s case it appears not.  In my case, where i to be discovered once more, would my wife say enough is enough and take control?  i honestly doubt it.  Would She allow me to continue in service to Mistress Ana while remaining married to Her, i doubt that also.  i can only do my best to ensure that the situation never arises.

This evening, once everyone had left the office and my business partner had gone out to dinner, i slipped into a brown crinkle calf length skirt and a pink short sleeved top, pulled on my long red wig, applied a little lipstick and mascara and then went to the kitchen and prepared myself dinner. It felt so good to be fully “en femme” moving about the kitchen, a glass of gin and tonic to one side while i cooked and then to sit down with dinner and a glass of red wine, relaxing and feeling my true self.  i cleared the dishes and washed up before returning to my room where i relaxed further, catching up on some reading and listening to some music albeit with one ear on the apartment door in case my business partner returned early.  i was still feeling tired from my journey and so at 10.00pm, i slipped into my pink striped satin PJ’s, climbed into bed and turned out the light feeling very feminine indeed.

Friday November 13th 2009 – More chores for Mistress Ana

Friday and having done my depilation and exfoliation yesterday, this morning i showered and gave myself the requisite enema before splashing on a touch of perfume and slipping into pale blue lace panties that matched the dress i had decided to take to wear for Mistress Ana today.  First though, i had a plumber to deal with so had to wear my male clothes over the top of the panties.  Fortunately, the plumber arrived more or less on time and so i was able to leave for Mistress’ house by 10.45am and arrived around 11.15.

i was surprised to see a large van parked outside as i arrived and felt a little apprehensive as i climbed the stairs.  However, there was no need for any apprehension on my part, the van belonged to a sales rep for equipment Mistress was purchasing for Her business in Thailand.  i made us coffee and we all three chatted until the rep left.  Mistress then showed me how the dead bolt on Her back door had broken and dispatched me off to the local hardware store to get a replacement which i did and fitted as soon as i returned.  Mistress then had me remake the bed downstairs for Her daughter is arriving this evening.  i made up the bed, secretly wishing that i could be still in service with Mistress when Her daughter arrived for Mistress has told me that Her daughter knows all about me and would dominate me also.  There is something even more poignant about serving Mistress and someone else being present and knowing of it, possibly having me serve them also.  It sort of makes the relationship and my position as slave more public.  While many would think this to be humiliating, to me it is a desirable part of being a slave.  There is much to be gained for me emotionally from being Mistress’ slave but if no one else knows of this or witnesses my servitude, it is diminished somewhat in its impact.  i have wanted to be owned and enslaved for so long, i need confirmation of my position underscored by the relationship being known to and witnessed by others.  Mistress has made it clear that this will happen before too long and so i know that my time will arrive but as i made up the bed for Mistresses daughter, i couldn’t help but dream and wish it was to happen later today.

Only once i had made up the bed was i able to change into the turquoise lace dress and matching medium sized turquoise stiletto heels that i had taken with me to Mistress’ house so that She could get an idea of other aspects of my wardrobe.  i wore no bra with this dress which delighted Mistress, who’s first instinct was to put Her hand inside the top and fondle my breasts, play with and suckle briefly on my nipples.  Ooohhhh, the sensation was electric.  my nipples were still tender from yesterday’s prolonged attention and the touch of Mistress’ fingers and then mouth sent delicious tingles right through my body.  i did not want Her to stop and was instantly aroused and at that moment, i was like putty in Her hands and She could have done anything to me or demanded i do anything for Her.  i have become addicted  to her and intoxicated in my love for and desire to serve Her.

The nipple play was only brief but it set me on fire and i felt very much aroused as i went off to do the ironing that i had been unable to finish yesterday.  Another chore but one that i have no qualms about for to me it is like a prayer or act of worship from me to Her and i do the work gladly and happily.  Once i had finished the ironing, there was time for me just to quickly sweep the floor before i had to take my leave.  The last time i shall see Her for several weeks due to our respective travel schedules.  However, Mistress allowed me a final taste of Her nectar before i departed and gave me instructions as to the chores She expects me to carry out whenever i am in town, even though She Herself might be away.  i drove away feeling sad that i shall not be able to see Her for such a long time but so happy that i am Her slave and that i have such a wonderful Owner to serve and devote my attention to.  Mistress reminded me that the CB-2000 must remain in place, something that others might consider a severe loss of liberty but which to me is a comfort knowing that She has complete control of my sexual function and wants me to remain entirely under Her control, even though i may visit other Dommes such as Goddess Joyce on my travels.  i will be seeing Goddess Joyce and i will most certainly be given chores to do by Her but Goddess Joyce accepts that i now belong to Mistress Ana and am essentially on loan to Her while i am in Peru. Furthermore, the thought that it will now be at least 2 months before i am even remotely likely to be granted another orgasm hardly entered my head in spite of feeling both emotionally and physically aroused by serving Mistress Ana today.  It may in time prove to become a challenge for me to bear but as i write, the memory of the orgasm i had yesterday will take a long time to fade and it was so much more profound than any masturbation that i shall endure my chastity for the reward of another such wonderful experience at the hands of my Mistress, Domme and Owner,