Tuesday December 22nd to Saturday December 26th 2009 – A Happy Christmas

Hectic is the only way to describe my day.  So much to do and so little time and with my wife now at home for school holidays, no chance this morning to do my regular depilation, exfoliation, moisturisation and general pampering of myself.  Time enough only to pull on a pair of pink lace panties and a matching bra beneath my male outer clothes.  With meetings in the city in the afternoon and much to work on in the office in the morning my day was full and then we had the office Christmas party in the evening.

On Wednesday though, i was up and out of bed before 5.00am and busy in the office finishing a little work but also putting my things together to go to Mistress Ana’s house and do Her cleaning.  i needed to get everything together in advance of others arriving to work and did so comfortably.  i also set up a number of jobs for my staff to get on with while i was out of the office, which was all day.  i left the office at 8.45am having delegated jobs and responsibilities and arrived at Mistress Ana’s just before 9.30am.  i had taken my dirty lingerie and a dress that also needed washing and put those into the washing machine the moment i arrived.  As i passed the downstairs bedroom, being used at the moment by Mistress Ana’s son and daughter in law, i noticed that the bed had been made but had since been lounged upon and so was untidy.  i could not resist going in and straightening it.

In the laundry, i noticed shoes that must belong to Mistress’ daughter in law.  i stopped briefly to admire two pairs of heels, thinking what good taste their owner had and wishing they had been my size for i admit that i liked them so much i doubt i could have resisted trying them on had they been anywhere near big enough!  i was surprised though, once in the laundry, to discover a small dog outside, whining at the door and wanting to get in and it yapped for a while once i had left and gone upstairs and changed into white lace bra and matching thong, white thigh high stockings, black patent leather stiletto heels, black mini skirt and black blouse, white apron and my long red wig.  For good measure, i added some lipstick and then set about my chores.

All of the curtains were drawn so i opened them up so as to get a good look at what might need doing and decided first that i would dust and wipe down all of the surfaces.  i worked systematically from Mistress’ en-suite bathroom, Her bedroom, then office and additional toilet before doing the kitchen and lounge followed by the staircase.  While doing so, i noticed that the bedroom and office windows really needed to be cleaned so i did them both inside and out.  While i was on the balcony outside the bedroom and office, i became conscious of a man from over the road being out in the front of his house doing some work in the garden.  i wondered what he was thinking for he must have noticed a mini-skirted maid busy on the balcony and i also wondered if he had noticed that i was bearded! These thoughts did not phase me though and i just worked on as quickly and as efficiently as i could.

Part way through cleaning the windows, i realised that my laundry would have finished washing so went back downstairs to hang it out to dry.  i kept the dog from gaining entry but did pat it and make friends with it before taking in washing on the line that had dried and hanging out my own.  Once i had done the windows and dusted and wiped all the surfaces i vaccuumed the carpets and swept the floors.  i wanted also to clean the tiled floors but was running out of time, having a business meeting scheduled for 1.30pm, so i quickly mopped over the worst areas so at least the floors looked reasonable – not as good as i would have wanted them to look but at least better than they were.

i so wished that i had had more time to have been able to clean the house more thoroughly and all the time i was cleaning there, knowing that Mistress’ daughter in law was living there, i was very conscious of the fact that in a way, i was essentially setting a standard by which someone else, other than Mistress, was going to judge my work.  Just as when Mistress’ youngest son was living there, i knew that he would see the results of my efforts, so too would Mistress’ daughter in law and i felt that she, being a woman, would be a far more severe judge of my efforts and i so wanted my work to be good enough to satisfy her for in a way, my performance reflected the control, influence and training i have received from Mistress Ana and for me to underperform would in a way reflect upon Her and any adverse criticism was the last thing i wanted.  Only time will tell whether i succeeded in my efforts to please all concerned.

Another strange feeling i had while working away at Mistress’ house was whether or not i might encounter either Her son or daughter in law in person.  i have said before that discovery, while humiliating, is something that i almost wish for because in my heart of hearts, i want people to know that i am a slave and belong to Mistress for in my opinion it could only add to Mistress’ already high esteem no matter what effect or how humiliating it might be for me and, as Her slave, the better i am in my work so too the greater the esteem reflects upon my Owner.  i do know of course that the true depth of my relationship with Mistress Ana has not been revealed to Her family and so would never do anything to change that but there is a certain part of me that truly wishes that it become general knowledge that i am owned by, belong to, am the slave of and gladly serve Mistress Ana, and that this is as much a function of my need to be known to be submissive as it is to raise the status of and aura that surrounds my Owner, Mistress Ana.

Christmas Eve was of course like a mad house.  i tried hard to complete outstanding work and send out new quotations and proposals for more work but didn’t quite get everything finished.  my children and grandchildren began arriving mid day but i had also to spend most of the morning running errands for my Wife – shopping for last minute things for dinner, lunch etc. as well as a couple of extra stocking fillers for my Wife.  The afternoon and evening was spent with family and we all enjoyed a lovely Christmas Eve dinner of roast turkey with all of the trimmings.

Christmas Day began with early Mass at the local church followed by our traditional full breakfast outside by the swimming pool, cooked by myself on the barbeque and washed down with champagne.  We then spent a delightful morning exchanging gifts with most eyes of course on my grandson of 15 months.  By early afternoon all guests had gone and my Wife and i were left to our own devices – time to check out my own gifts and quietly relax and recover from the hectic last few days.  On the excuse of needing to download pictures from my camera, i was able to get over to my office late in the afternoon where i opened the gifts given to me by Mistress Ana.  She gave me a lovely “baby love” pamper pack and some chocolates making me feel very feminine and much loved.  i do have a gift for Mistress of course but She will not be able to receive it until we meet up again.

Boxing Day is a big sports day in Australia and also a major shopping day in the sales.  The female in me would have loved to go shopping but not in the mad crazy rush of the sales so it was a quiet day watching sport on TV and entertaining occasional visitors.  Both yesterday and today i wore the same pink lace bra beneath my male clothes with pink lace panties to match.  No real opportunities to go online but i did find out why “My Virtual Model” is not working – they are re-vamping the site and it will be back on line on January 4th.  By then i will be in England and staying with my mother in law.  Not much chance to be femme in that environment and it will be difficult enough to wear even panties beneath my male clothes to say nothing of keeping the CB-2000 chastity device secret.  However, i am almost at the point where i would like it to be discovered by my wife.  It would take some explaining but i have an idea of the approach i will take as and when it happens and somehow i want Her to know that deep inside i need such control on my sexual function and also need to express my feminine side.  She need not know about Mistress Ana but it would open up an opportunity for Her to take advantage of the situation and take control, something i have longed for all of our married life.  However, i seriously doubt that She would change Her approach to me and my ways but it would take away the need for me to be so secretive about wearing female lingerie and of course the chastity device if She would only accept that it is something i need to do.

Tuesday December 8th 2009 – memories of a $5 whore

A public holiday today in Peru.  Goodness knows why, it is not normally on their calender but apparently there was no military parade during their annual independence celebrations this year (July 28th) for some reason so they decided to hold it today and give everyone a holiday!  Not for me though.  i need to use every minute of my time here and although i could not meet any clients today it gave me chance to work through some data albeit in a more relaxed mode.

i slept in a bit later having stayed up later last night chatting with my business associate and flat mate on business issues.  It was almost 9.00am when i got out of bed.  i chose not to get out of my satin PJ’s straight away as all was quiet in the apartment so i began working on emails etc, while still wearing them.  In fact my associate did not stir until midday so i was able to lounge in my PJ’s until then when i slipped a T-shirt over the camisole top and a pair of shorts over the PJ shorts.  i was almost sure my flatmate would be going out and was waiting to be able to slip into full “femme” mode as soon as he left.  Alas, it was not to be!

i spent my day working on project data and dealing with emails and proposals, stopping occasionally to check if there was anyone online such as Mistress Ana, Goddess Joyce or Lady Dynah but not one of them appeared while ever i was online.  i tried calling Goddess Joyce again but still no answer so left a message.  i should go and visit Her but need details of the clinic, her room etc.  She might even be home again now for all i know.

i spent a little bit of leisure time adding to my experiences on Experience Project and made a few new friends who share similar interests and experiences.  Today, i shared my first experience dressed as a woman but serving a man.  This was some 22 years ago and it turned out to be only a one off because i got cold feet!  Not that the evening spent with him didn’t work out it was more that his longer term ideas for a relationship did not gel with mine once we chatted the following day.  As you can read below, he treated me like a prostitute which was not what i was looking for longer term.  i wanted to be treated as though i was female and to go out so dressed and socialise, go for dinner, the pictures and so on.  All he wanted was to visit me whenever he felt like, day or night for sex during which i would always be blindfolded and bound.  i think i could have coped with the sexual side of things if he had given me a little more such as having me cook for him, wash and iron his clothes or clean his apartment.  As much as i enjoyed my first experience as a whore, it was not what i wanted at the time and not what i would want now.  Thankfully, in serving Mistress Ana, i do get to do chores and run errands for Her as well as being used sexually as She may desire so i know that i am more than just a sex object.  Anyway, this first encounter of the prostitute kind went something like this…………

i entertained him at my apartment.  He had me unlock the door on receiving his phone call.  This meant he was outside.  i was then to blindfold myself and bend across the kitchen table with my hands placed behind my back.  i heard him enter the apartment and then felt his hands strongly take my wrists and cuff them together.  He then ran his hands up my nylon clad legs, over my suspenders and my panties, fondling my ass before moving up and cupping my breasts.  Oh, i cannot describe that feeling as he groped me, it was wonderful, exciting, arousing all at the same time and my cock immediately betrayed my feelings trying to break free from the black lace panties i was wearing.He had told me to dress like a slut and so i had.  In addition to black 4″ stiletto heels with an ankle strap and cute bow, i wore seamed black stockings, Victorian style corset with suspenders, black balconette bra, very short black mini skirt, flimsy see-through blouse, a long haired blond wig and heavy make up.  As i bent over the table, feeling his hands roam over my body, i began to ache not from discomfort but from a need to cum.  Just being touched by him was an amazing turn on for me.

Eventually, he stood me up and led me, still blindfold, through into my lounge where he pushed me down onto my knees.  i heard the zipper of his fly as i knelt there and i knew what was about to happen.  This would be my first time and i was prepared for it.  i wanted it. i had practiced sucking on dildos and tasted my own cum enough to have an idea of what to do and what to expect but i was not prepared for the size of his cock.  It was long alright but that was the least of my problems, it was also very thick, so thick i struggled to get it into my mouth.  i thought my jaw would dislocate, partly from the angle of my neck as i struggled to cope with his strong vertical erection from my position kneeling in front of it, trying desperately to get a little height so that i could get my mouth downwards over it.

i began licking the head of his cock and then along the shaft as i struggled for a position where i could take all of him but i need not have bothered for his hands soon locked onto either side of my head and began to manipulate me, moving my head and hence my mouth over his engorged member, working it down into my throat so that i could hardly breathe.  Gradually, i became more used to his size and to the frequency of his thrusting and my head being pushed against him so that i found a way of breathing between the thrusts which, after first becoming longer and deeper, began to increase in frequency until my whole head was forced against his abdomen, i could feel his balls against my chin and his cock so far down my throat i thought i would choke.  And he held me like that while his whole body convulsed and shook as he exploded inside my throat, pulling back a little then so that i could taste him as he shed his seed into my mouth.

Tears were running down my cheeks now, smudging my make-up.  They were tears of joy mixed with shame mixed with pain.  Joy at having been used as if i were a woman, shame at feeling like a slut and whore and pain from my aching neck and jaw as well as a sore throat.

As he subsided, he spoke gently but firmly to me, fondling me once again.  He held me to him and told me he was proud of me and how he was also going to rape my ass.  As i knelt by him in my blindfold darkness, a new fear possessed me.  His cock had seemed so big, how would my ass cope?

First though, he switched on my TV and loaded a pornographic video into the machine.  i could not see what he was watching but i could hear the unmistakable noises of sexual activity and i could feel his hand gently stroking his own member while he watched.  Not before long, he told me to get back to work on his cock and my head was guided down back over his newly erect member.  He did not manipulate my head this time but allowed me to quietly work my tongue over, around and along it, taking it fully into my mouth every so often until, after what had seemed forever, he stood up and guided me so that my face was down into the sofa.  i felt his hands pull down my panties and with his feet he pushed my knees as far apart as they would go.  Something wet then smeared first around my ass and then pushed inside by his fingers.  i think i whimpered at him then to not hurt me but i had no response from him other than gentle but firm pressure on my virgin ass as he slowly but inexorably pushed his cock inside me.  It was difficult to begin with and he retreated and added more lubricant before returning, first opening me a little more with a finger, then two and getting me more ready to accept him so that when his cock returned to my ass for the second time, i felt it make a little headway and then a stab of pain followed by a feeling of ecstasy as his cock slid deep inside me.  That stab of pain was intense and i feared he had split me but it was forgotten quickly as his cock penetrated my ass much further than any dildo i had practiced with before.  i found myself moving with him, following his rhythm, wriggling my ass trying to impale myself even further onto him.  His hands were cupping my breasts and pinching my nipples and i ached again for release but it was he who came first, his body shaking and convulsing within me.

He pulled out of me, somehow managing to leave his cum filled condom inside me.  As i knelt there i could feel his cum trickling out of it and onto my leg and then into my panties which he pulled up for me.  Then, he was back in front of me and i was tasting him again as i cleaned off his cock with my tongue.  It was becoming flaccid now and was easier for me to manage and so i soon had it cleaned to his satisfaction.

He helped me to stand and then led me back to my kitchen table where he bent me over as i had been when he arrived.  He placed a small key in my hand and told me it would release me from the cuffs once he had gone but i was not to attempt release until i heard my door close behind him.

He left me then, still dressed as a whore and now feeling like one in cum soaked panties, his jizm still seeping out of my ass.  i had not even seen his face!  i removed the cuffs and the blindfold only to find myself still in the dark.  He had switched out the lights.  When i put them back on, there on the kitchen table was a small envelope which i opened and found inside a $5 note and a message which said “Thank you slut, until next time!”  And so i was just what i felt, a $5 whore.

Thursday November 12th 2009 – A surprise visit to Mistress Ana

What a strange but wonderful day!  It began ordinarily enough with me choosing white underwire bra and white cotton panties with a lace trim to wear beneath my male clothes.  i then went to work expecting the arrival of a plumber to fix our sewage recycling system.  As i was alone in the office and with there being no none in the house either, normally i would have dressed fully “en femme” but, because i was expecting the plumber, i was unable to do so.  i did however take the opportunity to run some of my ladies underwear thro ugh a hand wash cycle while awaiting the plumber’s arrival.  In the meantime, my gardener showed up unexpectedly so it was fortunate that i had not dressed “en femme.”  He didn’t stay long because it began to rain.

After he left, i began sorting and collecting a set of clothes to take with me on my travels next week.  Because i will be leaving on Sunday evening, i needed to get my “femme’ things into my suitcase ahead of time because i will not be able to bring them over to the house at the weekend with my wife around.  i would usually have done this on the Friday but with plans to be with Mistress on Friday, i decided to do it today.

That done, i returned to my desk and found Mistress Ana online and so was able to chat.  Her builders had finished and She wanted me to go over and visit Her today.  i explained that i was waiting on the plumber but would be able to come once he had finished.  As we chatted, i phoned the plumber to find out if and when he would arrive.  He decided instead to come tomorrow!  So, i decided that i would go over to Mistress’ house as soon as i had got my washing dry which had to be done in the drier because of the rain.

While my washing dried, i quickly went and got ready for my visit to Mistress Ana.  This meant giving myself an enema, something i do using the lower outlet in the shower and a plastic connection hose for a shower spray with the rose removed.  It enables me to set the water flow to slow and steady and the temperature close to body temperature and to insert the hose while in the shower unit so as not to make a mess.  It also means that if i go too far and overfill myself, i have only to clean the shower afterward.  Also, the toilet is close by and the floor tiled so it is an ideal location for giving myself an enema and flushing out my rear should Mistress decide She needs to rape my ass or that i need such treatment.

As well as the enema, i decided to depilate and exfoliate today instead of tomorrow and so it was smooth, fresh and clean inside and outside that i set off to Mistress’ house soon after midday.  En route, i practiced my oath a couple of times, reciting it in my “femme” voice for practice.  This is about the only time i get to practice my voice other than when i am fully “en femme” in public so whenever i am on the road alone, i switch to my “femme” voice.

i reached Mistress Ana’s house after 40 minutes and noticed that Lucy’s car was outside.  Once i entered, Mistress sent me to change into my maid’s clothes.  Lucy was busy doing some housework.  i was told to hurry dressing because lunch was about to be served and so i changed quickly and did not bother with make up or items of jewelery.  As we ate lunch together, Mistress, Lucy and i, Mistress told me about Lucy’s marriage break up.  A very sad situation for all concerned.  Mistress, to both of our surprise, handed each of us a plastic bag with small packages to be placed under our respective Christmas trees.  This was a lovely surprise and so very much appreciated.

Lucy had to leave to return to work at 2.00pm after which Mistress and i chatted on a little longer before She decided that i should be punished for my errors with the making up of Her son’s bed.  We retired to the bedroom where, before being punished, Mistress had me suckle in Her breasts and worship at Her altar, lavishing attention to Her pussy.  For me, this was of course much better than being punished but the punishment was only postponed briefly for Mistress quickly had me on all fours on Her bed with my ass exposed and then treated to a sound paddling first and the several stokes of the riding crop.  It does hut but not unbearably and after the stinging sensation of the crop, i soon felt that delicious warm glow spread across my ass cheeks.  Mistress intends that i am constantly reminded of Her while i am away from Her and this is one way of doing so, not the the constant presence of the CB-2000 doesn’t already keep Her firmly placed in the centre of my thoughts at all times.

The punishment over, Mistress returned me to my dutiful worship of Her body, both breast were suckled intently as well as her pussy.  But, Mistress also likes to play with my breasts and nipples and i was delighted by Her attention to them as i worshiped Her’s in turn.  Eventually though, Mistress’ attention became focused entirely on my tits and She aggressively suckled and bit on them, kneaded them and pinched them, reveling in my response for Her actions were clearly arousing me.  Mistress persisted, having told me i was not to come and so i stood as passively as i could, desperately trying not to reach an orgasm.  But Mistress is nothing if not persistent and drove me closer and closer to that orgasm until i could no longer resist and was consumed by that deep internal and uncontrollable series of spasms that shook my whole body.  This was the second time that Mistress has brought me to orgasm by just playing with my tits and nipples.  My cock, encased in its CB-2000 cage, enlarged to fill its prison, remained untouched and still flaccid yet my orgasm was deep and profound and far more satisfying than any masturbation i have ever performed myself.

As i came back down to earth i recall saying just how much i adored and loved Mistress Ana, my Owner, and how fortunate i was to belong to Her.  And it is true for even as i write this, memories of the afternoon and of Her flood back and arouse me yet again.  i am Her slave, i have given myself to Her and as such must bend to Her will and strive to please Her at all times and i find great joy and satisfaction in doing that and if my reward is only ever to be used as a sexual instrument of Her pleasure, it is reward enough.  i thrive on the scent and taste of Her nectar and it is indeed intoxicating.  How could i not strive to be the best slave with such nourishment as an incentive?

But it is more than that.  Afterward, Mistress assigned me to a pile of laundry that needed to be ironed.  What a chore, many would think but to me it was a pleasure to be given the task, it is almost in itself a form of worship, adoration and appreciation of Her for in saving Her this task i am pleasing Her.  And so, as i stood in my black patent leather stiletto heeled pumps in white thigh high stay-up stockings, black mini skirt, blouse, white apron and my long red wig, sweating in the afternoon heat and humidity, i had joy in my heart and sang along with the music Mistress was playing.  Yes, by the time i had to leave, my feet ached, my legs ached, my ass was still glowing and my nipples were tender and sore but inside, my heart was light and my sense of self esteem was high for i had given myself entirely to Mistress and had served Her to the best of my ability and been rewarded.  The only sad thought i had as i left was that i was leaving, that my time serving Her was over for the day.  But i drove away looking forward more eagerly than ever to tomorrow when i shall visit and serve Her again.  What a lucky gurl i am!

Tuesday November 3rd – Cleaning for Mistress

i was up early and out quickly, calling at the shops on my way to Mistress Ana’s house to buy some flowers for Her. i arrived at Her house at 8.45am and it was close to 9.00am by the time i had changed into my maid’s clothes, comprising black mini skirt and blouse, white apron, white stockings, black patent leather stiletto heels, long red wig, hooped earrings, ladies watch and the luxury of a little lipstick.

First, i found a vase and put the flowers in water.  i had bought both yellow and orange liliums – Mistress had made it clear that i was not to buy gerbera’s, chrysanthmums or roses!  i also gave them some cut flower food.  Next, i checked to see if Mistress had left any laundry.  There was too little to be bothered with.  However, in venturing downstairs i also checked the state of the bedroom and Mistress’ office, both of which Mistress had said were a mess.  She was not joking.

First though, i made up Mistress’ bed.  The clean linen had been left on the bed apart from two pillowcases which i found among the items to be ironed and so quickly ran the iron over them and put them on the pillows on the bed.  Once Mistress’ bed was made up, i went downstairs to make up the other bed.  Having done so, i thought that the room would also benefit for a clean so dusted surfaces and skirting board and then vacuumed the carpet.  i also wiped down the surfaces in the bathroom and cleaned the mirror.  i got the impression that Mistress’ youngest son had not cleaned either room or bathroom for some time.

Next, i tackled Mistress’ office.  Again, i wiped down all surfaces and tidied up papers, being careful not to throw out anything that might be important, leaving such things neatly on Mistress’ desk.  Here also i vacuumed the carpet.  Next it was back upstairs to clean the large balcony.  When i first went out there, i noticed the lady from next door collecting Her mail.  She did not notice me though but it got  me pondering what repercussions there might be had She spotted me.  Not so much a concern for me, more perhaps for Mistress.  Anyway, i continued with the cleaning, first cleaning the surfaces and then sweeping up the grime before mopping the tiled floor and finally cleaning the glass ballustrades inside and out.   While i was doing this, the phone rang and i decided i should answer it, thinking it could be Mistress.  It wasn’t. It was an Australian male, possibly Mistress’ husband, he wouldn’t say but when he asked who i was i simply told him it was roxie, the cleaner!  Having been told Mistress would be back tonight, he said he would call again later.

Once the balcony was finished i gave the lounge room and kitchen a quick tidy up and clean, not a thorough one because i was running out of time, but swept the floor where a few crumbs had been spilled and wiped down the kitchen surfaces.  i worked through from 9.00am to 1.00pm and by the time i had finished i was starving and also perspiring as the day had turned quite warm after a cool start.  i changed back into my male outer clothes, leaving the white lace  bra and panties on underneath.  It would have been 1.15pm when i took out the rubbish to the bin as i left and while i would have loved to stay longer and to have made a start on the ironing, at least i left the place looking much tidier and cleaner than i found it.

The rest of the day i spent back in my own office working to get as much done as possible in the hope of having more time to spend with Mistress on Friday, something i am looking forward to very eagerly.

Thursday October 29th 2009 – A little warmer

Well, there was no overnight brainstorm i am afraid to confess!  i am still at a loss as to what i would like Mistress Ana to bring me.  Truth is, if i were able to be my feminine self 24/7, there would be no end to the number of things i could think of but having to maintain an outward male appearance for so much of the time, items like jewellery that i could wear to signify my position are just not going to work in such a way that i could demonstrate proudly my status which would after all be the main point.

Relations with my wife have warmed a little today but not greatly.  She continues to be stand-offish.  However, i am not sure whether or not she is really well.  She has not really shaken off a cough that she picked up in China 2 weeks ago and it now seems to be worsening.  Try as i might to be sympathetic and to try and comfort Her and make Her feel better, i am getting only a lukewarm response.  Not sure if it is ill feeling towards me still or feeling ill inside.

i wrote to Mystress of Mystress World today to advise that i would not be continuing my membership beyond my current expiry date at the end of next month.  i explained that it was not anything negative towards MW but rather the fact that i am now in active service and receiving first hand practical training locally on a regular basis.  With this and the fact that the latter lessons in MW have been somewhat repetitive, i suggested that perhaps MW needs to establish a higher level of membership for such cases that allows continuation of  membership but with training being hands on rather than online.  The membership would still allow online contact for mentoring as and when required as well as continued sharing of ideas and experiences.  To my absolute delight, Mystress has replied already and told me that i may continue to have access to the website and will have no reporting  or other requirements of membership, although She would like to hear from me from time to time.  Mystress is especially pleased to know of my status as slave to Mistress Ana.

For me this is wonderful news for i never have like to be on the wrong side of anyone and it was important to me to be able to reduce my involvement and commitments to MW from a time consideration if nothing else and i did not want to do this in such a way that i would have been thought ill of.  And so, i shall indeed continue to check out the site from time to time and will continue to report there on my observations and experiences in different parts of the world.
Little else to report today other than work plus, of course, that i wore the same purple bra but with lilac lace panties today under my male clothes and a black mini skirt and gorgeous black strappy stiletto sandals while in the office alone late in the evening – daring once more considering the current difficult relations with my wife but probably safer now than ever for She is most unlikely to burst in on me again so soon.   Tomorrow, Friday, and i shall be “en femme” almost the entire day – mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Wednesday October 28th 2009 – A chill in the air!

As i suspected, relations between my wife and i have cooled several degrees.  i have tried to act as if nothing is wrong, have tried to do even more things for Her today than usual but have hardly got more than a yes or no out of Her all day and certainly not a thank you for those things i have managed to do for Her.  It will stay like this for a day or two more yet but hopefully things will improve by the weekend.  We shall see.  Certainly i will continue to do whatever i can to improve things but there is no point in apologising and all i can do is try to make Her happy in whatever other ways might present themselves.

Today has also been full-on at work.  i was at work early wearing purple bra and lace panties under my male clothes and today, black, strappy 3″ stiletto heeled sandals.  Although busy, i did get to chat with Lady Dynah this morning.  Briefly, but enough to find out how She is and re-establish contact.  She has moved into a house now, still sharing with friends but seems a lot more settled now than She has been.  It was good to touch base with Her again and hopefully we can rebuild the close friendship we had.

This evening, i was able to chat with Mistress Ana.  i had had an email this morning saying i did not need to go to Her house on Friday and that Tuesday would do.  i am comfortable with this although i do so like going to Her house and doing chores for Her, it gives me a sense of purpose and is almost like an act of worship or adoration.  Mistress has become very special to me and i do love to do even the slightest thing for Her.  In any event, i can use the day at work on Friday to try and get further on top of my heavy workload and at least i will be at home all day on my own and so can be “en femme” for at least 8 hours!

i will go next to visit Her on Tuesday, the day after She returns from Thailand.  i will take Her the flowers then and no doubt She will have a number of chores for me to do, all of which i look forward to as much as i look forward to being with Her again.  Mistress asked me what i might like Her to bring back for me from Thailand and i really had not given the idea any thought.  i am very lucky indeed to belong to one so caring.  Mistress asked about my shoe size, Australian and/or USA 10 (wide) or 11, UK 8, but i doubt that they are likely to have shoes in that size there, the local people are generally much smaller than the average Australian.  In any event, much as i adore sexy high heeled shoes, and Mistress is well aware of that, i do not expect Mistress to bring me back any gift and shoes would be something i would of course treasure but would feel that i should contribute to the cost, either in cash or kind, kind over and above the call of duty (if a slave can ever go beyond the call of duty).  In the end, i told Mistress that i would appreciate anything small and feminine and left it to Her to decide.  Mistress has already been so generous with Her gifts that i really don’t like to ask for anything.

Ideally, i suppose, i would love to have something intimate that i could wear all the time and that would signify and confirm Her ownership of me.  The trouble with that idea though is that it would have to be something either sufficiently discrete that my wife would not notice it or something so ambiguous and subtle that my wife would not suspect anything significant in the wearing of it.  Neither alternative is really practicable.  i already wear the CB-2000 chastity device which is in itself a symbol of Her ownership and control, and am so far managing to keep its presence a secret from my wife.  i have an excuse in mind for the day that she discovers it mind You.  However, the cock cage is not something that is a public demonstration of my status for it is not visible or known to anyone but ourselves.  In fact, discretion really demands that there is nothing really that i could wear that would outwardly demonstrate my slave status to those in the know about the D/s lifestyle while at the same time not representing anything controversial to vanilla eyes.

Whatever gift Mistress might bestow on me, it will be greatly appreciated and i shall sleep on the idea overnight.  Who knows what brainstorm i might get by morning.

Tuesday October 27th 2009 – Caught “en femme”

Up early today to prepare to go to Mistress Ana’s house.  i first of all did a rapid depilation using the “No-No” followed by exfoliation in the shower and then moisturiser all over.  Splashes of deodorant and perfume had me feeling terrifically “femme” as i slipped into a red bra and red panties with white spots and white lace trim.  i was over in the office early, only then to discover an email from Mistress Ana advising me that i need not go to Her house today.  Mistress Ana is of course away and i was going to go and re-make Her bed, having put the bedlinen to wash on Thursday when i was there, do whatever cleaning might be needed and some of my own laundry and whatever Mistress’ son had left to be done.

However, i replied to Mistress’ email with mixed feelings.  Part of me wanted to go so that i could spend a half day “en femme” doing things for Mistress but the other half of me was admitting that i had a lot of work to finish and i could more spend time there on Friday if i knuckled down and got on with my work.  So, a little reluctantly, i decided not to go.  Later in the morning, i saw that Mistress was on line – however, She was also very busy so we did little other than just say hi and hope we might chat properly later.

As a result of not going to Mistress’ house today, i confess to a slight feeling of disappointment at losing the opportunity to be “en femme” and as the day wore on i began to feel increasingly restless, almost like withdrawal symptoms, which is silly really because i had such a great day “en femme” last Friday.  Nevertheless, my need to dress became an itch that i had to scratch and so late this evening, believing my wife to have gone to bed, i decided to indulge myself and slip into full female attire.  i was in my office and had open my wardrobe and was stood there in black stiletto heeled sandals, red bra and panties choosing what to wear when my wife came in with some paperwork.  The time was 11.00pm, much later than She is normally out of bed.  i was not only startled but totally dismayed that She had caught me in the act for i know from past experience that this will mean a cooling of relations for at least a few days.  She made no comment though at the time and it remains to be seen in the coming days what repercussions there might be.  After She left, i sat for a moment and then decided that i may as well carry on and so pulled out a black skirt and white blouse, pulled on my long red wig and returned to my desk and continued working for another hour before finally going to bed myself.  In my heart, i truly wish and long for the day when my wife will just accept me and my submissive and feminine needs so that i can not only dress “en femme” around the house and at my leisure but also do chores for Her and make Her life so much easier.  As Mistress Ana points out, my wife does not know what She is missing.

Thursday October 22nd 2009 – Back in service

This morning i woke early to be able to give myself a good enema, a requirement of Mistress Ana whenever i am to visit Her.  i used the bathroom in my office so as not to attract the attention of my wife, and gave myself four very good enemas, continuing until my resultant bowel movements were just water.  i had a meeting in the city first thing which dragged on a little and so i was 15 minutes late arriving at Mistress’ house.  She was not at home and so i let myself in, changed quickly into my maid’s clothes, pink bra and matching panties (the ones given to me by Mistress the last time i was with Her), black mini skirt and black top, white lace top stockings with white bows, white apron and black patent leather stiletto heels.  Today, needing to feel especially feminine as it had been so long that i was able to dress completely “en femme”, i also wore a fine gold chain and pendant given to me by a former Mistress, my ladies watch and hooped earrings.  i then set about doing some ironing while i waited for Mistress to return, She had left me a message to say that She would be back in half an hour.

i had not really begun ironing when Mistress returned and was accompanied by another male, Lucy, Her new garden slave who i had seen outside previously.  We were introduced and given rules of conduct by Mistress.  We are never to communicate with one and other and nor are we to be jealous of the other.  Not an issue as far as i am concerned.  Mistress delegated us both with various tasks and the three of us worked together in the kitchen to prepare a lunch which we all shared with a bottle of red wine.  All of this was lovely and our conversation ranged over a number of things and especially aspects of China that arose from my description of my holiday.

Shortly after lunch, Lucy had to leave.  i now knew that i was probably in for a beating.  This is a necessary aspect of our relationship for Mistress must re-assert Her superiority over me and it is never difficult for Her to find reasons for my deserving to be punished.  Today, i had forgotten to bring with me the small agate egg i had bought for Her while in China which added to the other things that Mistress had also considered worthy of punishment.  i climbed onto Her bed on all fours, pulled down my panties and counted each stroke She landed on my exposed butt, twenty altogether.  Yes, it hurt a lot but She could have continued further.  However, i am fortunate in that Mistress spares me a more severe beating because the danger of the marks being seen by my wife.  i truly appreciate this gesture, not just for the lesser pain but particularly because of the danger faced in my wife discovering welts across my rear.

Once my punishment was over, Mistress then had me on all fours on the floor as She put on Her new strap-on, which She had me suck until She turned me around and forcefully raped my ass.  This is not the first time Mistress has raped me and i have also been penetrated there by other Mistresses.  However, today, as Mistress thrust Her strap-on deep inside me, the first time, it really hurt.  The first push and entry is never comfortable for me but usually, once in, my muscles and sphincter relax and i begin to move in sync with Mistress.  Today, though, i was unable to do so.  the pain and discomfort continued and Mistress, fortunately sensed something was wrong, pulled out and then penetrated me again.  This time it was much less painful and it felt really good to be her fuck-toy.  i moved in sync with Her now, in little discomfort as She moved in and out, penetrating me as deep as the strap-on would go.  i was indeed Her whore.

Mistress realised that i had an extruded hemarrhoid and that this was the cause of my pain and discomfort and so treated my ass with ointment for hemarrhoids.  i then returned to my chores, washing and putting away the lunch dishes, hanging out laundry, stripping Her bed and putting the linen to wash while Mistress busied Herself getting ready to leave for Thailand tonight.  She had a number of instructions for me.  i must go and clean Her house and make up Her bed again on Tuesday as is my normal duty when She is away.  On Friday, i must take some flowers to Her house and leave a nice arrangement for Her – no gerberas, chrysanthemums or roses!  Tomorrow, i must go to the post office and post a few things for Her.  All of these i shall look forward to doing and will do them to the best of my ability and with a lot of love, thinking very fondly of Her as i do so.

i really enjoyed being back in Her service today, not only because i was “en femme” but also, and particularly becaue i need to have the sense of belonging, the sense of duty and obligation to Her and someone to whom i can look up to, adore and worship.  And i do adore Her and miss Her whenever She or i are travelling.

Friday September 25th 2009 – A brief meeting with Mistress Ana, My Owner.

Having arrived home in the small hours of Monday 21st, i returned to work the same day and one of the first things i did was to contact Mistress Ana and let Her know that i had returned home.  i was absolutely delighted when She told me that She wished to see me today.  i rose early and as soon as my wife had left for work, i set about shaving my body and giving myself a good enema, four in fact, wanting to be as presentable and clean as possible both inside and out.  When i arrived at Mistress’ house, i was surprised to see another car parked where i normally park.  i pulled alongside it with some trepidation, wondering if perhaps Mistress had invited a friend or friends over for me to serve also.  She has indicated that this will happen sooner or later and while i am happy to oblige, it is always a little unnerving when serving others who are unknown, wanting to do Mistress’ bidding as well as possible but not knowing how demanding will Her friends be.

However, i need not have worried because as i came around to the front of the house, i found another man, slave, weeding Her front garden.  i was not sure whether or not to acknowledge him and just said good morning as i rang the doorbell.  Mistress opened the door immediately and i stepped inside where i discovered that She had taken on this new garden slave.  Mistress also told me that She was pleased with the work that i had done while She had been away both in the garden and in the house and that Her son had given Her good reports of my efforts.  However, Mistress quite rightly divined that i must have misbehaved in Her absence, especially without the CB-2000 chastity device in place, and so would need to be punished.  It was true that i had succumbed to temptation and had reached an orgasm but not entirely intentional (see entry for August 24st).  While in Brazil and Peru, i had not so much as thought about masturbating, i had been too preoccupied with cramming as much work into such a short trip.

But punished i had to be and Mistress quickly had me naked and humbled with my legs cuffed to Her leg spreader and gave me a sound beating on both my ass and the tops of my thighs but, was careful not to beat me too heavily for fear of leaving marks visible to my wife.  i am very lucky to belong to Her for She exercises discipline over me in a considerate way.  While the punishment obviously hurt, it felt good to be entirely at Her mercy and to know that i am Hers.  Having beaten me, Mistress then had me worship Her so as to taste what i had been missing and to give me a reminder of the nectar that i will miss while i am away in China.  And it was just a taste.  Mistress knew i wanted to worship Her longer but did not allow it and left me thirsting for more of Her elixir.

Afterward, Mistress presented me with a beautiful matching shocking pink lace bra and boy-leg panties.  They are adorable and i could not get into them quickly enough.  As i said above, i am so very lucky to belong to such a considerate Domme.  i finished dressing by slipping into my maid’s outfit with white stockings and black patent heels.  Mistress loves the look, i am glad to say.  We then had coffee as Mistress took me through to Her office and showed me pictures taken on Her holiday in Europe.  It was fascinating to see Her with Her Romanian relatives and enjoying all sorts of activities with Her daughter and husband.  There were many pictures to go through and we chatted a lot about the different people in the pictures but especially about Her daughter who is very beautiful and has the most magnificent wardrobe purchased from stores in Dubai.  Mistress had returned with beautiful shoes from a designer that She had learned of through this blog.

Mistress’ husband, youngest son and daughter all know about me and Mistress has made it plain to me that She hopes one day to have me serve Her husband, also She had indicated that while She was away, should i have encountered Her son, he would not necessarily bother me but might ask me to service him orally in which case it was up to me.  Today, Mistress also confided in me that She was planning to have a day when She would have me with Her to serve a number of Her friends, both female and male, all Dom(me)s of course.  i have to say that whereas i would not go looking necessarily to orally serve others than Mistress and other males in particular, my nature is submissive and my need is to serve and provided this is required by Mistress, i will of course do so.  i have given myself to Her and i trust Her implicitly and know that She would not wish me to do anything with anyone that might be risky to my own well being.  Her demands of me might seem to others to be humiliating or perverted but to me they are not, they are requests of me to demonstrate my love for Her, my desire to please Her and my absolute obedience to Her and i see all such demands that She makes of me as being opportunities for me to demonstrate my complete trust in Her, my adoration of Her and acceptance of Her authority over me, something that deep inside i know i need to have.  When i think of the years that have passed when i knew i was submissive, knew i needed to serve a dominant lady and could find no one, and see also the number of submissive males and would be slaves who scour the internet trying to find someone to take them, i realise just how very fortunate i am to have met Mistress Ana and to have been taken into Her charge.  i adore Her and love every minute i spend serving Her whether in person or doing Her bidding in Her absence.  Even this blog is a service to Her and i feel bad whenever i fall behind in writing it.

We had lunch together and chatted a little more about Her plans for me, Her other slave, Paul and the new garden slave before i had to leave.  Disappointed that time flew by so quickly, i left knowing that while i remained free of the chastity device for the period of my forthcoming vacation in China with my wife, i would be putting the device on again as soon as i returned.  Strangely, i want to wear it and feel almost naked without it.  It is a constant reminder to me that i am Her possession and am not at liberty to do as i please.  Something for which i am grateful and for which i do not trust myself without it.

Friday August 28th 2009 – failed shopping trip

A busy day today.  After my Friday grooming session first thing in which i shaved, depilated, exfoliated, moisturised and perfumed myself, i dressed in a pair of bottle green lace panties and matching bra under my male clothes and then went out shopping for the large black strap-on requested by Mistress Ana.  i went into 3 different adult stores in different parts of town and could not find what i needed.  There were plenty of white ones but no black to be had anywhere.  Disappointed, i then went and bought a new pair of hiking boots that i need in the field next week in Brazil, my only other pair being in Peru at the moment.  i then went and got a haircut before returning to my office once the cleaner had left so that i was able to dress “en femme” for about 4 hours before my wife returned.  i chose to wear a bottle green top and white pants with black stiletto heeled pumps and felt just great.

Even better was the news that we had just won a contract!  The first significant job we have won since the global economic crisis began.  However, the downside is that i will have to get my skates on and do a lot of the preparation work before i leave on Tuesday night so that my junior staff can get the donkey work done by the time i return so that i can finish the job before i head off to China, a week after i get back from this trip.