i know my absence will not have gone unnoticed by Mistress Ana, my Owner, and that i shall most definitely be punished for regular update of my journal is one of Her Rules and one that i do not disobey lightly.  It allows Her to keep a track of my thoughts, emotions and deeds and to be quite honest i really do want Her to know how i am feeling and what i am doing.   Since i last wrote, i have taken delivery of a new chastity device which was fitted when i last saw Mistress Ana.  It is a CB-6000 and i have to say that it is much more hygienic than the Birdlock device. i bought the smallest size and my pathetic little penis actually fills it and so it does become uncomfortable when i am aroused which is more than can be said for the CB-2000 in which my cock felt like a feather in a bucket!  While standing or walking, the CB-6000 is quite comfortable but when sitting can cause me some discomfort, especially if wearing tight panties or panty hose.  Cleaning is easy with cotton buds and so hygiene is not a problem.  Of course, wearing it has made me extremely horny, so much so that i avoid any forms of sexual stimulation such as playing with my nipples or reading any pornography.  Nevertheless, i still cannot avoid thinkng of fantasies before i go to sleep which doesn’t help matters.  Perversely though,i have come to enjoy being chastised and being unable to orgasm for it keeps my mind focussed on who and what i am and to whom i belong.  

Yes, while this post was a long time coming, i suspect i shall be a longer time not cumming!   So, work and travel have kept me away from this blog but that have not prevented me from expressing my femininity at least some of the time.  While opportunities to dress fully “en femme” have been restricted to one evening in a hotel in Brisbane and this last weekend here in Medellin, Colombia, i have managed to work every day wearing bra and panties beneath my male outer clothes and also to wear make-up every day.  The latter in a subtle way.  i apply mascara to my eye lashes which doesn’t readily get noticed except by someone who is really looking and then i have a lipstick that is close to natural colour but has a glossy sheen to it.  No one commented but if they did i carried a tube of lip salve with me to use and excuse – something which is not a problem when working in the hyper-arid environments of the Andes.  In fact, in the very cold nights and early mornings at altitude, i took to wearing panty hose beneath my male working gear which made quite a difference to the temperature of my legs and feet.  

i have run out of the Mirifica Pueraria herbal estrogen tablets that Mistress Ana get for me from Thailand.  These help me feel feminine as well as help with the development of my breasts.  i missed their effects and so tried to do something about it.  Mistress had warned me against taking Premarin, estrogen derived from the urine of pregnant mares, for the effects it can have on my blood pressure and such.  However, i found a source of synthetic estrogen in a drug called Climatrol-E.  i have been taking 0.3Mg/day now for 3 weeks and feel very feminine without any of the advertised ill effects.  In fact, my blood pressure when taken for a medical to enable me to work at high altitude was a low as it has been in a long time.  i haven’t noticed any changes to my breast tissue but it does make me feel wonderfully female and i have decided that i now need a certain level of estrogen in order to maintain that feeling of feminine well being.  

This last weekend was wonderful for being able to be fully “en femme” from Friday night until Monday morning.  i was able to pamper myself first thing Saturday and Sunday and then apply make-up and dress fully “en femme” before going down to breakfast in the hotel.  i worked in my room most of the day and was greeted each day by the maid as “senora” which gave me a real boost.  i went out for lunch each day, each time tio a different restaurant and was conscious that i never attracted any obvious curious glances or whispered comments among passers by or waiters in the restaurants.  i have been practicing my female voice so that also must be working better than previously.  In fact, on Sunday, i had to cross a major road that was very busy.  i stood at the traffic lights for the pedestrian crossing for ages waiting for them to change and allow me to cross. After a while i was joined by a guy who i would place in his mid-to late 40′s.  He was in sports gear and was out jogging. He greeted me with a “Buenos tardes” and a big smile to which i replied in my best feminine voice which seemed to prompt him to try and chat me up!  i was amazed that even at close quarters he took me for a woman (unless of course he was gay and saw through my carefully applied make-up, which was another possibility). He asked me if i was visiting to which of course i replied i was and then he followed up by offering to show me around Medellin!  i couldn’t wait for the lights to change, i felt both flattered and terrified at the same time.  i declined his invitation of course, telling him that i was leaving on an evening flight that same day and as the lights changed and we crossed the road together he said “what a pity, we could have had so much fun” before saynig goodbye and setting off at a fast trot.  The picture shows how i was dressed before leaving my hotel for my encounter with the jogger.

in my hotel in Medellin before venturing out

Next Wednesday, i arrive home in the morning around 7.30am.  However, my travels do not stop then.  On the Friday i go away with my family for a short 5 day holiday and then am home just one day before i have to travel away again on business.  i do so want to see Mistress Ana while i am at home but i have no idea if it will be possible- fingers crossed that She will also be home, in which case i will make every effort to get to see Her even though i know it may be a painful experience if She decides that my punishment is due.

i dressed quickly in pink ruffled bra and panties, black ruffled skirt, red blouse, black patent leather stiletto heels, and then applied some make-up and my wig before setting about doing the ironing.  There wasn’t a great deal of ironing to do and so when i had finished, i tidied the kitchen, washed a few dishes, and wiped the surfaces.  Still looking for things to do, i then made Mistress’ bed.  It was now after 1.00pm and still no sign of Mistress returning so i changed back into male attire and left around 1.30pm, deciding that i could always return later in the week.  

It was lovely to see Her again.  She has lost so much weight She looks years younger and having died Her hair blonde She looked terrific.  We chatted over lunch which we both enjoyed.  Our conversation centred largely on a new potential slave Mistress has, a jewish guy with whom She has had serve Her sexually as a stud and whom She tells me is willing to serve Her along with myself.   Mistress made it clear to me though that i will be subservient to him and that he might use me for his pleasure and so i anticipate having cock to suck before too long and also expect to be used anally by him while Mistress looks on.  

Before returning to Her house,  we stopped on the way to look at a couple of houses that are for sale – Mistress now being in the market for property having received the payment from Her divorce.  Also, we stopped at a Subway store to buy lunch for Mistress’ daughter.  i went in an stood in the queue and Mistress later came in and joined me.  Unbeknown to me, while i was being served, some guy came in and apparently commented loudly about me being a man.  As i turned to leave with my purchase, i became aware of Mistress giving the guy a good serve!  Only as we exited did i discover what it was all about and that it centred on me and my dress!  i chuckled to myself as i got back into the car.  i had not heard the guy’s comments and so had not reacted but maybe had Mistress not been there the guy might have persisted until he got a reaction from me – who knows?  i might well have suffered some serious public humiliation.  In any event, i was grateful to Mistress for standing up for me.

 Next week i shall visit Mistress on Tuesday when Her daughter will not be there.  i know Mistress will have some chores for me and that i shall also receive some punishment but i shall still look forward to seeing Her again and hopefully serving Her in more personal and intimate ways.  i am really happy to be together with Mistress again after our respective travels and cannot wait until Tuesday.

Tonight, i am dressed fully “en femme” once more, having been invited out to dinner but able to decline the invitation on the grounds of needing to pack and be ready for my early departure.  So, i returned to my hotel from work at 5.30pm and immediately dressed in the same outer clothes as i wore last night, having already had white lacy bra and panties under my male clothes all day.  Once dressed, i quickly applied some make-up, my wig, brushed it out, slipped on my wedge-heeled sandals, grabbed my handbag and went out to the shops to buy some cheese, crackers and a bottle of wine.  By 6.45pm i was back in my hotel room and on-line, deciding to do what i have to do online before eating.  However, i did open the bottle of wine and poured myself a glass before sitting down with my laptop.

Having dealt with my emails, here i am, posting again for the second time in as many days – how rare is that these days?  i really do wish i had more time!  Life has been all work and no play for quite some time now and i am quite tired – another reason i am looking forward to getting home – not that there will be any respite from work there but somehow i always seem to have more energy there.  Maybe that is because there are more social things happening with people i really want to be with rather than social events with clients where business is always at the forefront of the conversation and i feel like i am under constant examination.  Add to that the strain of spending a protracted time speaking another language – i am usually pretty worn out at the end of these trips and this one is no exception.

So, there will be no more posts now until Monday evening at the earliest as i am travelling until Monday afternoon.

i am now in Medellin in Colombia having already spent a week in Bogota.  In Bogota, i was entertained every evening by my client’s so little or no time there to myself to dress “en femme” and so far it has been the same story here in Medellin.  However, Sunday was a good day for i was able to dress all day.  i started the day with exercises and shower as usual but after breakfast, i returned to my room and dressed “en femme” in my bronze coloured ruffled mini-skirt, a purple blouse, brown strappy, wedge heeled sandals, wig and jewellery, after having first applied make-up.  i worked until 2.00pm and then, after touching up my make up, i went out across the road from the hotel to a really large shopping mall to find some lunch.  All they had was an enormous food court so i ate there, not particularly gourmet but filling!  

i had been reminded earlier that day by my calender that it was the day my simulated menstruation was to begin.  So, after eating, i went into the supermarket – Carrefour – and bought a packet of panty liners.  i then slipped into Falabella just to see what they had on offer in the sale and couldn’t resist buying a pair of pink cotton pyjamas for just $15.  Then it was back to my room to work.  i had expected the work i had to do that day to be done by 10.00pm but “all of the best laid plans of mice and men” as they say or “Murphy’s Law” meant that anything that could go wrong would go wrong and it was well after midnight before i finally sent the email with the finished product.  

i began my simulated menstruation by inserting the large glass butt plug and putting a panty liner into my panties.  Inserting the butt plug was a little more difficult than usual  and by evening my ass was sore and then suddenly warm and wet – i managed to burst a haemarrhoid – and so thank goodness for the panty liner – it looked like it had soaked up genuine menses.  i did not replace the butt plug that evening but did so the next morning without any difficulty and so far without any further repercussions and am now through the third of the five days.

So, only three more working days before i head home on Saturday.  i have to say that i am looking forward to getting home.  As far as i know, Mistress Ana is in Thailand and i have no idea when She returns but i plan to go to Her house on the Wednesday after i get home on Monday for i am sure there will be thing that need doing whether Mistress is home or not.  i am hoping that wehen She returns She will bring more of the Mirifica Pueraria capsules because i am starting to run out and i have to admit that i feel better, more calm and more feminine while taking them.  Also, my breasts have returned to their fullest size and i want them to grow even more if at all possible.

Something else i need is to arrange with Mistress’ daughter for a full waxing.  i have not waxed or shaved since She last waxed me – all due to the lack of time and opportunity on this trip.  Consequently, i have way too much unsightly body hair (though not nearly as much a si used to have before i began waxing) and rather than shave, i prefer to be waxed.  i plan to email Mistress’ daughter to see if we can arrange a time.

The planned holiday in Peru looks like being postponed as Mistress’ daughter now has a new job.  She will certainly not be going but i am waiting to hear from Mistress Herself as to whether She wishes to go this year or wait until next year.  Well, i have finally managed a post.  Also, i have finally managed to get a night alone during the week and so am fully “en femme.”  i have caught up too with washing my underwear and the hotel bathroom is now adorned with an array of drying panties and bra’s.  The situation was getting critical as i was down to my last pair of panties!

Well, that is it for this post – hopefully it will not be so long before i get the opportunity to post again.

Enough though of excuses.  i am now happy to report that i am back on track and, having worked all day today, ready to leave for Colombia tomorrow.  A bonus has been my new Peruvian geological recruit.  She is still a student but is bright and eager and has helped me out with my backlog of work over the last week so that i am now almost up to date.   Also, today, for the first time in what seems ages, i have been able to be “en femme” for the entire day!  This is a picture of me at my desk today.

At my desk in Lima today

Also, just for the record, here are some pics of me wearing the new jewellery i bought on the way to PNG and on my way to the mine site here in Peru.

bracelet bought with matching anklet on my way to the minesite in Peru

2nd anklet bought en-route to PNG below the anklet bought on my way to the mine site in Peru

Anklet bought en-route to PNG - just $10

 And yes. i know that i need a good waxing but now that Mistress’ daughter is working for me it is not easy to schedule a time – i could of course shave – again if i had the time.  i plan to shave once i get to Colombia when, all being well, i might get the chance to go out “en femme”.

One thing that i have been doing while i have been on the road is to cut down on my food intake and increase my exercise, all in the hope of losing some weight.  Well, after a couple of weeks on a mine site where the food was average to say the least, i feel like i am losing weight and inches off my gut.  Can’t really be sure without the benefit of scales but i am at least encouraged.

There has been precious little time for dressing “en femme” this last month although i did find and bought two cute anklets in Cairns while on my way to PNG.  They were just $10 each and  i have worn one of them every day since.  It feels looser around my ankle now which is further evidence for my having lost some weight.  Also, on my way up to the mine site in Peru, i found a cute bracelet and anklet that more or less match, also for only about $10 each and wear them both whenever i get the opportunity – which, as i mentioned has been rare.  However, tonight, as i write, i am dressed in white lace bra and panties, bronze coloured mini skirt with ruffles, purple blouse, wig, the thongs that Mistress Ana bought me from Thailand that have a lilac coloured snake-skin design, and the bracelet and anklet i bought going up to the minesite.   All in all, very happy to be back “en femme” and wishing, as ever, that i could always be.  

For the time being, nothing further to report other than i am happy to be going home earlier than planned in the hope of seeing Mistress Ana sooner than either of us thought.  i really do miss being with Her.

As i drove home, i couldn’t help wondering “what if?”  Like, what if he had been someone i knew and he had recognised me? or what if he had recognised i was a man and had maybe taken a picture of me with his cell phone and said something like “i have your car registration, i can easily find out who you are and make life difficult for you, unless of course you do a certain something for me………….”   What would i do in such a situation.  Mistress Ana no doubt thinks i would give in to the guy’s sexual demands but i don’t think i would.  Nothing to do with being slutty, its just that to be blackmailed into something never solves the problem, it just makes matters worse and increases the blackmailer’s hold.  No, i think i would take a chance but then on getting home, “come out” as the sissy i am to all my close friends and family so as to diffuse any action such a guy might take.  It would be difficult but probably the only way out.  

Anyway, on getting home, i took a hot shower, exfoliated, moisturised with rose scented moisturiser, added a splash of perfume before dressing in a new purple coloured top over a purple lace bra with matching panties and went to work.  i stayed “en femme” until lunchtime when prudence told me i had best be back in male mode before my wife returned and it was as well that i did for she arrived home no more than half an hour after i had changed back.  Still, it was lovely to get an unexpected half day to express my femininity once again.

i arrived at Mistress’ house at about 09.15am – a little earlier than usual but then i also had to leave early.  Mistress was pleased to see me and complimented me on my appearance – both clothing and make-up.  i made us both coffee and we sat and chatted about Her trip away and about the plans for the forthcoming holiday in Peru with Her daughter which i will help arrange and on which i shall accompany them for at least part of the time.  Mistress had to go out mid-morning to the post office and so hung out some laundry to dry, set some more dark clothes to wash and then washed dishes and tidied the kitchen area before starting on a pile of laundry that required ironing.  i was only part way through when Mistress returned with a cooked chicken for lunch.  i made a lettuce and tomato salad to eat with it and we sat and continued chatting over lunch.  

We discussed Alison, Her one time other sissy slave who pulled out of the D/s relationship after we all spent a weekend together.  i have been chatting with her online occasionally and i mentioned to Mistress that she would like to join us for coffee and a chat sometime.  Mistress said that it would indeed be nice but that it will now have to wait until July when we are both back in town together.

After lunch, i made coffee again and then mentioned that i needed to think about leaving.  After first inspecting my breasts and nipples, which She believes have grown fuller once more now that i am back on the Mirifica herbal estrogen, She led me to the bedroom where i was to change into my male clothes.  She fondled and caressed my breasts and tweaked my nipples as i stood before Her, naked bar for my panties.  She knows that having my nipples and breasts played with is an enormous turn on for me and i did indeed become very aroused at which point of course, She stopped and left me to dress and go feeling very horny.  It really was good to be with Mistress Ana again – i do miss seeing Her when we are apart and we both travel so much we are often like ships passing in the night.  Knowing i will not see Her again until July saddens me a lot but still i do at least have that to look forward to!